To hold a reveal party for....

[Emilybrontescorsett]

My new house?
I'm thinking I could do with some cash as buying a new house is very expensive.
So after the wave of baby shower/gender reveal/henparties/stag parties/weddings etc etc
I've thought of having a kitchen reveal party!!!!!
It would go something along the lines of
Please come to my kitchen reveal party, where I will reveal the worktops/surfaces/units I have chosen, along with flooring choice.
Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!
Please no cheap crap!
I will enclose a gift list but really really would prefer cash.
If you do happen to bring a gift( and not cash, which is much preferred,) then it must be only from the list and on no account be from any other shop than John Lewis
If you do not live near a John Lewis then please give me cash.

I'll include a tacky poem too.

Anyone who doesn't come will be deleted from my friends list on fb after I have posted a sarcastic meme about only true friends support you in times of need and those who don't can fuck off and die!

What do you think?

You could do a sort of “Price is Right” game where guests have to guess the price of each item in the kitchen.

I'm thinking of holding a reveal party for the outfit I'm going to wear to your reveal party.

Encourage all guests to park over dropped kerbs, box in any cheap cars,and park in neighbours gardens

You could do a sort of “Price is Right” game where guests have to guess the price of each item in the kitche

Quite vulgar and I think you've over stepped the mark

Do remember your no ring,no bring policy.only exemption being Harry & Meghan.obvs

I love this thread

Don’t forget a naice bowl of fruit for show, it must contain a large pineapple purely for display purposes

Serve obscure pickled food with much touted health benefits eg kimchi parcels

And stunt tea-towels of course

What stunt would one perform with a tea towel?

I am loving these ideas.
The save the date card is a must.
I'm now thinking of a group of friends I can invite who I have known for the same length of time and spend equal amounts of time with. We all get on but I have to'disinvite' one of them, leaving them to ponder what exactly it is they have done to upset me.
Of course they haven't done anything to upset me, it just adds to the fun.
The raffleling off of my old unwanted tat is a must. Saving me endless trips to the recycling plant.
Now I'm toying with a dress code if strappey, impractical, floaty dresses, which will ensure my guests are freezing. Sleeveless of course and floor length. They will be required to wear hideously uncomfortable shoes, which cut into the feet and won't be worn ever again. I shall demand that tbey remove their shoes upon arrival thus ensuring that the long dresses have to be held up at all times. This means tbat guests won't have a free hand to grab drinks or food and will stop the grabby fuckers from eating and drinking my stuff.
I'm thinking men should be obliged to buy or hire a suit in a hideous colour, no blue , black or grey, oh no.
It will be a colour they don't already have such as burnt orange and green shoes, with a golden shirt.
Likewise the female guests will have to wear the most putrid, washed out, murkry colour. Possibly a cross between burnt orange, pale green, shitty brown and wishes washy grey.
When guests ask where such clothes can be bought I will tell them they can't, tbey will have to have them made.

We both are so excited
We just can't wait to share
It's the social event of the season
Make sure that you are there
A lovely new addition
To enhance our family home
Our hearts will swell with joy
At this treasure of our own
We wish to have your presence
And would love your presents too
But when we ask for presents
Only your cash will do
We do have a small list
At the web site of John Lewis
Please do not purchase anything else
And try to gift that to us
So we hope that you will join us
Or you won't know what you're mission'
As we proudly introduce to you
Our lovely BRAND NEW KITCHEN

Bank details on the reverse, £25 per head payable immediately thank you.

There ya go op.

You could have a reveal cake which is cut open to show the colour of your kitchen units.

It's a fantastic idea! You should go the whole hog and do it properly - you know, plan it for months, pass on every single detail to your best friend and get her to announce on social media that she has planned a "surprise" kitchen reveal party for you and that everyone is invited and must adhere to the demands regulations stipulated 😁

Is this a joke?

What stunt would one perform with a tea towel? Show tea towels if you prefer, just to look stylish not for use. Like show towels and soaps in the bathroom or the stunt pineapple.
I've learned here lots of people have things just for show.

You're invited to see our new addition

Won't you come and see my kitchen?
All the neighbours will be bitching,
When the see my shiny pots,
when you see it, you'll love it lots.

Cold hard cash for presents only,
No kids allowed, they are too moany,
Bring a chair if you want to be seated,
if you decline you'll be facebook deleted.

RSVP

You are invited,
I demand that you dash,
To admire my new kitchen
And don't forget to bring cash.

Think it sounds amazing, am 200% on board! I'm assuming tho you'll be inviting me to the whole event otherwise I'll take offence and bring you a PA hand knitted gift. I'll also be slating you online for not letting me bring my 24yo first born before totally ignoring all guest rules and bringing my gran and her hairdresser who I'll expect seats for. I don't drive because I can get lifts everywhere for free so I'm trusting your DH will run me home whenever I request (fyi, it'll either be halfway through the party or at 4.37am). I'll bring as cheap a wine as I dare so you'll excuse me taking half a cake, all the leftover cold meat, two bottles of Bolly and one of your cats home in exchange. Oh and you will be booking me a hotel room with your family guests won't you? I'll pay when I leave after chucking up on the carpet, cheers hun!

You is such a hunny toblernone.damn right op should reimburse you & ferry you in a fleet of cars
Otherwise she’s a stuck up cow who doesn’t value her third cousin twice removed who ain’t a cousin
Innit

Obviously, yes Chocolate

This reminds me a bit of that Sex and the City episode where Carrie's fed up at all the baby showers/kiddies birthdays she's had to fork out for...I guess she doesn't subscribe to that MN mantra that we don't give to receive therefore if we never get anything in return from some CF distant relative then we're being mean if we don't just suck it up.

Sorry, left my intelligence level in bed this morning

Actually why bother feeding them at all? More profit = more spends on you. And who’s more important than you hun?

@Chocolaterainbows

Sorry, left my intelligence level in bed this morning blush

Not at all, you are actually the only person to realise that it's real. Hyacinth Bouquet is alive and well and living on Mumsnet.