To hold a reveal party for....

[Emilybrontescorsett]

My new house?
I'm thinking I could do with some cash as buying a new house is very expensive.
So after the wave of baby shower/gender reveal/henparties/stag parties/weddings etc etc
I've thought of having a kitchen reveal party!!!!!
It would go something along the lines of
Please come to my kitchen reveal party, where I will reveal the worktops/surfaces/units I have chosen, along with flooring choice.
Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!
Please no cheap crap!
I will enclose a gift list but really really would prefer cash.
If you do happen to bring a gift( and not cash, which is much preferred,) then it must be only from the list and on no account be from any other shop than John Lewis
If you do not live near a John Lewis then please give me cash.

I'll include a tacky poem too.

Anyone who doesn't come will be deleted from my friends list on fb after I have posted a sarcastic meme about only true friends support you in times of need and those who don't can fuck off and die!

What do you think?

Hahahahahahaha
Love this

OP you are missing a slow and seductive walk around your property to some soft music only for the music to abruptlu stop some issue with a record player despite it clearlh being on a lapatop or ipod and then you can break out into some hilarious chorerographed dance in celebration of your new decor.
It's so original. Everyone will think it's hilarious and admire your originality.

Oh yes, you forgot the choreographed kitchen dance.

What dance would be good?
It has to be something from Flashdance or Dirty Dancing.
How about a flying leap over the breakfast bar?

Or will your new kitchen have a central island?
Even more impressive.

Toblernone, Yea,let’s go together but insist on a lift.despite never having met we will hug all night, say we are besties, sing Beyoncé songs at top of our voices,I’ll keep look out too whilst you stuff yer bag full of booze,iPads etc. Then we can start a fight saying some speccy git looked at us.

Will there be party favours for the lucky guests?

Or will your new kitchen have a central island? Even more impressive.

Yes but there's a risk of smacking heads against the expensive, heavy bottomed hanging pots and pans. Though if it's filmed, going viral is 'the thing' today, even if it means a concussion and long term memory problems for doing an excellent routine to Eat It by Weird Al...

Will there be party favours for the lucky guests?

Yes please! Particularly ones we can sneer at afterwards, and start a thread

"AIBU: I spent £50 and travelled 3 hours by donkey to get to her kitchen reveal, and it wasn't hand-grown, artisan-sawn quinoa wood, and the favours were obviously bought in from John Lewis. Anyone can buy that stuff."

Re party favours. wight claims to be handy with handmade stuff, maybe she could make them.

viques, I'll get the kids to do it at nursery and claim it's some unique boutique-y shit....

Yes please! Particularly ones we can sneer at afterwards, and start a thread

Didn't take long

No free bar, that’ll allow the entitled guests to wail can’t have a do without free bar

Good plan viques obviously wight will do that for nothing, even if it takes 11,000 hours and £3000, cos it an honour and anyway she's already agreed to cancel her phone so it's all good.
If the favours are a bit crap OP can come back to MN and have a moan about them. It would ruin her big day after all.

Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!

I didn't realize we had to bring our own grub?
I'm not coming now. sulks

Make sure pg guests are uninvited they’ll spoil the aesthetics of photos
Post online links to your fabulously expensive and hacknied sepia photos for folk to buy
Employ a photographer to take the same photos as every other reveal so when folk look online they’re struck by the staged similarities

The OP hasn't been back.
She must be very busy arranging things.

Of course, she has convoluted instructions to send to the guests

Definately employ a photographer and make sure s/he spends around 2 hours taking pics while the guests hang around cold and a bit hungry.

The OP hasn't been back.
Probably gone for a spa day

Instruct the photographer to herd folk about.fatties and uglies to back please

Have the kitchen hand crafted in Maui. The party will naturally take place there and of course all your guests will be delighted to contribute to the cost of deconstructing it again and flying it to the UK.

Make it an overtly religious reveal,to freak out the humanists and insist everyone convert to Miele worship

Can you send out the invites on those little blackboards shaped like hearts? Surrounded by twiggy shit?

No one should be allowed to Breastfeed in case it makes someon feel 'uncomfortable'.

What? No one has organized a weeklong pre-reveal do for OP and 200 of her closest friends (who will all chip in to cover OP's fare/hotel/spends natch) in an exotic and exhorbitantly expensive destination resort the week before? Call yourselves friends?