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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

30 ish teenagers aged 16 on a coach for 7 hours ,with the only adult being the coach driver

94 replies

Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:08

Am I being unreasonable to think having paid £600 (plus £600 for equipment )for duke of Edinburgh gold,through the school.there would be an adult apart from the driver on the coach..both ways no other adult....dont the school have a duty of care? What if a fight had broken out? 16 yr old boys do tend to scrap...or a crash? Or the driver taken ill...I don't know,am I just being a bit precious???..

OP posts:
Changerofname987654321 · 27/10/2017 23:09

Organised by the school or through the school? Yr 12?

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:11

Yr 12.. he's 16.. paid the money to the school

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 27/10/2017 23:13

You're probably not BU if it was organised through the school.

Fun fact; my DP did his first tab of LSD on a coach for a school trip.

Cantspell2 · 27/10/2017 23:13

I would say that is fine. My son took the school bus to school from aged 6 to 12 an hour each way with only a driver.

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:16

I'm normally quite a chilled parent btw....we went to meeting for d of e at the school...at no point did they say,no adults on the coach...it never even crossed my mind there wouldn't be...

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 27/10/2017 23:21

Christ if I was the coach driver I'd want at least one member of staff on there.

scottishdiem · 27/10/2017 23:22

Bit precious to be honest. Duke of Edinburgh Gold, for example, has an expedition element doesnt it. 3/4 days away from home on a trail, hiking, canoeing that type of thing? Bus isnt too much of a challenge.

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:25

What if driver had ,had a heart attack? Or crashed? ..I think if the school had said ,you know they will be travelling alone ...it feels underhand,and cheep....none of this has been cheep,and we were assured they would be well supported and supervised..I stupidly assumed that included the coach journey as well...my mistake

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 27/10/2017 23:30

Would you expect s second driver on a normal service bus? These are 16-year olds - adults (in Scotland, at least) I wouldn’t expect them to need supervised.

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:33

Agent ,no I wouldn't ,quite right...I'm in two minds ,half of me thinks yep they are nearly adults they should be fine...the other half of me thinks no,the school should of provided an adult in case of an emergency..

OP posts:
user1471548375 · 27/10/2017 23:34

Isn't D of E Gold 50 miles in 4 days with only occasional check ins with the teacher/instructor?

What if they fall down a ravine, or get swept away in a river?

I think you're being precious OP. They don't need a chaperone for the arguably more dangerous expedition, the bus trip is fine.

MammaTJ · 27/10/2017 23:35

Well, at 16 they can elope and marry, have sex, also they have been on expeditions. The coach driver having a heart attack will not be helped by having an adult on the coach.

Not sure what budgies going cheep, cheep, cheep are doing on the coach though.

I bet it wasn't cheap......

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:35

As I said I'm normally chilled,and I've never had cause to go in to school with something I'm not happy with before...so yeah..not sure if I'm being unreasonable,or if I have a point..

OP posts:
Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:37

Well that's 5 people saying it's fine...so yeah obviously just me ..perhaps I'm not as chilled as I thought after all..thanks for the views much appreciated

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 27/10/2017 23:37

"What if driver had ,had a heart attack? Or crashed?"

Well if this is your fear (now mentioned twice) what do you think would be different if the bus driver did have a heart attack and the one, two or three extra adults you want on the bus became incapacitated or worse? The problem of a driver having a heart attack or a crash is not prevented nor even managed with an extra adult or two.

If there is an issue of behaviour then that would be an issue but I still think that the kids who get to Gold Level are pretty sensible and have to do complicated tasks like expeditions without adults being there. Either your son deserves to be on the bus or he is not yet capable to do the award. Same for the rest.

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:41

Ha ha scottishdiem...no it was determined,who could go,by who's parents paid the £600.. no silver or bronze done previously,as it happens mine is 16 going on 30. So he wouldn't of been the one causing problems anyway...

OP posts:
fleecyjumper · 27/10/2017 23:50

It's a bit odd going straight to the gold expedition not having done bronze or silver. I know sometimes bronze is skipped. Surely the expedition will be the most dangerous part.

Original poster
Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:52

Yep..different schools do it different ways.my dd school only offers bronze my ds school only offers gold..yeah weird

OP posts:
Liadain · 27/10/2017 23:55

If they desperately needed a chaperone I'm sure a parent volunteer could have stepped up. I doubt that teachers would get paid for this extra work.

Having said that though, if they're fairly sensible 16 year olds it should have been ok. A chaperone isn't going to be able to grab the wheel in time and save them all if the driver has a heart attack (hopefully very unlikely!). And if he is ill, then it's not like the chaperone can drive the bus or anything, is it?

Original poster
Laceup · 28/10/2017 00:01

I clearly watched too much Grange Hill as a child....cheers folks I'm away to my pit

OP posts:
EduCated · 28/10/2017 00:07

For that age group The Scout Association would expect a minimum of two adults, although no particular adult:child ratio, by way of comparison.

Surprised there wasn't a 'group leader' type adult present to be honest, more for the drivers sake than anything else!

Motoko · 28/10/2017 02:05

Is the whole journey to the destination 7 hours? If so, how long are PSV drivers allowed to drive without a break? Or is there a half hour stop or something?

That would be my concern.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/10/2017 02:18

There should at minimum be one adult to supervise. They aren't "little kids", but they still need someone to look after things.

Skittlesandbeer · 28/10/2017 02:49

I learn so much from these threads...so thanks for starting it. I’m an older parent with a 6yo. I’ll be counting on mumsnet to guide me through the teen years. Clearly things have changed a lot.

When I was 16 (late 80’s), even at a very conservative school, we travelled ‘alone’. I guess the brainwashing/training had kicked in by then. And the consequences for misbehaving were pretty dire.

I tend to parent at home in a fairly strict way, then be liberal when my kid goes out in the world for activities like this. But I couldn’t say how unreasonable it is to do this with teenagers? I suppose the school culture/class group still makes a difference? I’d hope I could trust the school to know what’s appropriate.

Csd17 · 28/10/2017 03:05

There surely should be at least one member of staff on that coach besides the coach driver. Shocking.