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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

30 ish teenagers aged 16 on a coach for 7 hours ,with the only adult being the coach driver

94 replies

Laceup · 27/10/2017 23:08

Am I being unreasonable to think having paid £600 (plus £600 for equipment )for duke of Edinburgh gold,through the school.there would be an adult apart from the driver on the coach..both ways no other adult....dont the school have a duty of care? What if a fight had broken out? 16 yr old boys do tend to scrap...or a crash? Or the driver taken ill...I don't know,am I just being a bit precious???..

OP posts:
Temporary2002 · 28/10/2017 05:27

I think there ought to be another adult on the bus, in case of an emergency.

capercaillie · 28/10/2017 05:45

Should have been at least 2 adults on there with them not including the driver. I work in a school and organise DofE trips - no way would that situation be allowed.

Crumbs1 · 28/10/2017 05:53

I have a friend whose son went to Russia with 30 other 16 year olds and no teacher - from reputedly the best boys school in the country.

heron98 · 28/10/2017 05:54

They are 16. Not babies. YABU, I think.

hippyhippyshake · 28/10/2017 05:54

DoE should be open to everyone. The cost of this one is outrageous. Why is it £600? A few days in a campsite maybe £100 max. Why do some organisations think this is acceptable?
I’m surprised about the coach because there will be have to be one or two leaders going - someone has to check them in and out etc

SandLand · 28/10/2017 05:59

There will need to be some adults there - no way they will leave For groups unsupervised for 4 days. So presumably the staff are driving themselves there to give more mobility for the half dozen groups all going in different directions.
Would you prefer they all squished in staff cars?

SandLand · 28/10/2017 06:00

For = DoE

lljkk · 28/10/2017 06:11

Aren't some of them 17 by now, being yr12... except I didn't know you got yr12 in Scotland.

It's Gold DoE. They will be at least 8 hours/day in "wild country". If none of them can cope with all these hypotheticals on the bus then why did they sign up for Gold DoE. Look at the requirements. It's not kiddy activity.

The fact there are 30 of them is good. Maybe some of them will struggle, but as a group they should be highly competent. Ime, the 16yos WILL break up a fight, or call for help (they all have phones), or deal with illness, & generally help each other out.

kuniloofdooksa · 28/10/2017 06:18

If it was a "whole class" trip I would agree with you but gold DofE requires a higher level of independence and maturity. I would expect any 16yo who isn't capable of behaving themselves on the coach to have been filtered out by the demands of getting as far as this level of the programme.

Sofabitch · 28/10/2017 06:22

Recalls my friend getting a knock on her door from some german girls on a D of E type thing... 12-16 year olds in a forgien country alone...knocking on doors to ask for somewhere to camp over night on their way to their destination!

I think they can manage a coach trip.

LakieLady · 28/10/2017 06:30

If they're sensible enough to be doing DoE gold, I'm sure they'll be able to cope with whatever a coach journey can throw at them.

And they'll all have mobile phones, so if something really unusual crops up on the journey, they'll be able to ring for help and advice.

BertrandRussell · 28/10/2017 06:41

Are you sure there aren't any other adults going? I'm pretty sure there have to be on a school trip like this, even for 6th formers.

Sarahjconnor · 28/10/2017 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarahjconnor · 28/10/2017 07:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ForalltheSaints · 28/10/2017 07:19

I have driven buses in the time when I ran them, and I would have wanted another adult on the bus for such a long journey.

InspMorse · 28/10/2017 07:20

7 hours each way or 3.5 hrs each way?
If it's the former there will be 2 drivers (one can't drive for longer than 4 hrs).
The latter - 3.5 hrs? I think if they are DOE participants they will cope without killing each other.
As for bus driver having a heart attack, do you always drive in a pair when ferrying DC around longer distances?

BertrandRussell · 28/10/2017 07:33

I just don't believe a school would do this. And what happens when they get there? Apart from anything else, who's going to sign the booklety thing to show they've done it and not just gone to the pub. What if the weathers bad, or something has to be cancelled or rearranged.

PoppyPopcorn · 28/10/2017 08:36

I think you're misunderstanding the whole ethos of the gold D of E expedition if you expect the precious little pickles to be supervised on the coach.

Jeezo. So much for developing independent thinking, planning, working as a team, getting yourself from one place to the other and camping overnight without adults because Mum is worried about the coach journeu.

hellsbells99 · 28/10/2017 08:52

I would assume that the staff are following in a car so they have flexibility when meeting and checking on them at checkpoints.
It also means they have their car boots to fill with their own camping gear and equipment.
My DDs went in a minibus with the staff in cars.

Jasminedes · 28/10/2017 08:58

I'm shocked that you can do gold without having done bronze and silver. Seems to undermine the other awards somehow.

knottybeams · 28/10/2017 09:02

At 17.5 I started supervising d of e expeditions (the youngest you were allowed to do it at the time and I'm sure you have to be 18 now although that's still only 18m-2y older than your ds). I supervised bronze and silver practice expeditions (and did some of the central admin for school) as the service component for my gold. For those we weren't so far from home in general though so had everyone make their own way to the start point - buses are expensive so we only had them for gold. As far as I know mum only got flustered when I also took her car (pre mobile phones)

Original poster
Laceup · 28/10/2017 09:09

Morning ,thanks for the replies...staff running d of e met them at campsite...no teachers following coach ,or on coach..yes £600 is horrendous,we also paid another £600 for everything on the huge list,I think we kept millets in business....it caused a few rows at home,we couldn't really afford it tbh....but the school had told him top universities look for it,and he stands a better chance of getting a good job,getting on the degree he wants by doingit ,so we found the money...but it was a struggle I won't lie....I do feel a lot better this morning due to all the replies saying it's normal to to not have an adult on board ,they are old enough..mums net is always so helpful when I'm not sure...so I won't be going in on Monday to talk to the school,..I will just leave it...thanks for all the replies

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 28/10/2017 09:11

"but the school had told him top universities look for"

I hate to tell you this, but no they don't. It makes absolutely no difference at all to university admission.

Original poster
Laceup · 28/10/2017 09:16

Plus ,no food was included,just in case anyone else is thinking of sending their son / daughter....the weeks worth of food.( Monday morning till very late Friday) all had to be bought as well and crammed in to his rucksack...again we spent a fortune on food,I massively over bought ,thought not a chance in hell will he eat all that...but he did...he enjoyed it thou ...he's got no complaints,just very tired.

OP posts:
iklboo · 28/10/2017 09:25

Employers don't generally look for a D of E either.