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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP has ‘found his faith’

147 replies

Grumpybear16 · 27/10/2017 06:40

Be kind please. My DP has been very odd this past week, claiming that he suddenly has found his faith and talking excitedly about it. It’s all he thinks about and he didn’t sleep at all last night. He is being a much kinder more attentive person, but I’m worried it might be a mental health issue. AIBU to think this? Does anyone else have stories about finding faith?

OP posts:
reflexfaith · 27/10/2017 08:51

I agree it sounds like a possible psychosis or Mania

cinnamonwoman · 27/10/2017 08:53

Agree with PPs, this is a mental health crisis.

Happened with my mum, she became obsessed with Islam.
She seemed manic to me, I was younger then and didn't know how to get help for her. Fortunately it sort of passed. I don't know what happened to lessen the religious delirium. I was really quite scared at the time. Only lasted a week or so.
She still hints at her religious leanings, but nothing as manic as that episode.

Other story in my husbands family. Younger guy started acting extremely religiousy, talking about understanding it all so clearly now etc.
Eventually an ambulance was called after two days of non stop Facebook updates about his religious revelations, a new one every minute for 48 hours. It was unbelievable to watch it unfold.
He was sectioned and was in hospital for a few months. He's much better now.

Do not call a vicar.
Don't be afraid to call 999.Flowers

JaneEyre70 · 27/10/2017 08:56

My sister has found the Lord too, and now I no longer have a relationship with her. I am convinced she's had/having a mental health crisis and our mum has tried to intervene but it's very hard trying to get someone to accept that their behaviour is troubling. I'd go talk to your GP initially.

LoislovesStewie · 27/10/2017 08:57

just to say I agree he needs mental health assessment; not sleeping and feeling paranoid are red flags for me too. I've met lots of people who start like this; they have all of the answers , no-body understands them and people are watching them. Also please look after yourself; I'm not saying he is going to harm you( I realise many people with mental health issues are harmless) but I have met some who start to think that their nearest and dearest has become the devil or is seeking to harm them. If he starts to get messages i'e hear voices act urgently.( I'm saying that for a reason obviously)

TsunamiOfShit · 27/10/2017 08:57

I would agree that seeking advice from a religious context would be helpful here.

Wouldn't that be a bit like giving an alcoholic a glass of wine to calm down? I really don't want to sound disrespectful to any faith but in my experience, churches prey on the weak, they will try to draw him in rather than try and help.

GP is definitely the way to go, and if it is that he has really become religious, he can continue to search that path once the manic episode is over.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 27/10/2017 09:00

Unless you can guarantee the vicar's advice would be to go straight to his GP, then it isn't really a great idea to take that as the first option.

Many people do find faith without it being a mental health issue, but the OP has managed to describe a number of symptoms other than religious delusions which would suggest something else is going on. The only way to find out what is to be assessed properly and that needs to be accessed through his GP.

FinallyDecidedOnUserName · 27/10/2017 09:06

Oh gawd

whiskyowl · 27/10/2017 09:09

I'm so sorry, I agree with PPs that this sounds like a MH crisis and not a religious conversion.

Please seek some help for him.

Anatidae · 27/10/2017 09:09

You need to be involved in this as well - it’s really important that any mental health professionals assessing him have the information in your second post. It’s a big part of the picture. You need to speak to the gp or crisis team.

Highpeak · 27/10/2017 09:12

Agree with PPs about going to the Dr. It's the paranoia on top of the religious fervour that's a red flag to me. My sister is a paranoid schizophrenic with depression. She assigns good and evil to things, believes she has a guardian angel etc. She also obsesses about being watched (in her case, by the DWP who, in her mind, think she's making it all up)
Your DPs symptoms sound worryingly similar
Flowers

Devilishpyjamas · 27/10/2017 09:13

Your second post is worrying.
He needs to see a doctor.

Original poster
Grumpybear16 · 27/10/2017 09:13

He tells me he is aware of all his symptoms which could point to a mental health issue, but he’s sure that it’s a normal part of a “road to Damascus” revelation as he’s read up on it. He’s always swinging from one thing to another, it’s not unusual that one week he’s got a completely different political outlook to the week before and it usually blows over. Why is it when it’s to do with religion that it’s more serious? Only been one Facebook update about it so far and he wants to go to church on Sunday. He’s asleep now, went back to bed at about 7. I’m not sure what to expect when he wakes up. Part of me wants to call a dr now but part of me thinks this might be jumping the gun.

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 27/10/2017 09:15

As a churchgoer myself, the only approach to a vicar I would suggest, OP, is by yourself only, and to an older vicar of VERY long experience and
of a traditional denomination. They are likely to have seen this sort of thing before.

But personally, I think medical help is needed here.

didofido · 27/10/2017 09:17

TsunamiOfShit - responsible churches don't 'prey on the weak'.

The problem tho' could be that if he gets calm & sensible advice from a responsible church he will reject them and move on to the lunatic fringe.

CherriesInTheSnow · 27/10/2017 09:18

The reason it's more serious is because MH delusions are often religious in some form; so it's a more sure diagnostic sign than someone suddenly becoming very interested in politics for example.

The man we know also had a very strong change of ideological beliefs despite never being that way before (think intense homophobia, for example) and I truly think the way your DP is talking is a definite sign that his MH is suffering. This guy says on the surface thinga like "I know it sounds crazy, but.." but I don't think it means they are of a sound mind still.

Really good luck OP, and a word of warning, don't let yourself get fobbed off by the GP and make sure you provide the background info that makes sure he is referred, as it sounds like he would be evasive/adverse to seeking help at this point. It's e very difficult thing to deal with or make people face :(

podiumFinish · 27/10/2017 09:18

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CherriesInTheSnow · 27/10/2017 09:19

Please don't bring actual religion into it; whatever your beliefs this man does not need to see anyone in a religious role, he needs to seek medical professional help.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 27/10/2017 09:21

It's not the religion that's more serious. On it's own, finding a religion would be un concerning. It's the things that you are describing in your posts that go alongside that which put it into context.

Even some of those things are fine on their own, but put together they show a pattern of a behaviour that might indicate a problem.

ShowOfHands · 27/10/2017 09:21

My Dad has bipolar and is a devout Christian. When well, religion is a comfort and he is engaged with the church community and peaceful within it. At times of mania and psychosis, he is obsessive, paranoid, suspicious, has "revelations" , rambles and so on.

I agree with everybody else. Good, early mental health intervention is a must.

WhatwouldAryado · 27/10/2017 09:24

Any sudden faith is questionable. Has he come under the influence of a person or drugs?
Has he been detached previously?

Anatidae · 27/10/2017 09:30

Call the doctor please.

List the symptoms you detailed in your second post and give examples. The dissociative symptoms, paranoia, obsession etc. Also make sure they are aware it’s escalating. The religious delusions dont make it any more or less serious but the picture you paint in your second post is very worrying.
Early intervention tends to lead to better outcomes. Push for help and I hope you get it. If at ANY point you feel he’s a danger to himself he can be detained (but only from a public place.) good luck, I would be beside myself with worry.

YellowFlower201 · 27/10/2017 09:31

Religion is not a mental illness - what bollocks!! Can we help OP instead of religion bashing.

Op this does not sound like a conversion, it sounds like a mental health problem.

The lack of sleep, paranoia and idea that he understands ‘everything’ aren’t great signs. It sounds like this intense obsessive behaviour has happened before with party politics.

I would speak to his GP or the local IAPt service. It won’t do any harm to speak to the vicar and warn them of your concerns. I would not involve DP in that though... just sound the vicar out.

Anatidae · 27/10/2017 09:37

Religion is not a mental illness - what bollocks!! Can we help OP instead of religion bashing.

Sudden acquisition of religion where no or mild religion was previous actually IS seen my MH professionals as a symptom. Religious thoughts need to be ‘in keeping with the cultural background of the patient’ to be seen as normal. So a belief in spirits/demons etc could be seen as deeply pathological or normal depending on the background of the patient.

Objectively you drive the logic bus through that argument, which isn’t looking good for religion.

Anyway, that’s irrelevant- religion isn’t the issue here, it’s the suite of symptoms her husband is displaying. He needs urgent assessment by professionals.

MamaErmintrude · 27/10/2017 09:37

Another "seek medical attention" from me OP, and I'm a born again Christian. Extreme enthusiasm is very common amongst converts. Almost nothing else you've mentioned does. What you've described reminds me of a friend of mine's first manic episode. He was subsequently diagnosed with bipolar. Please seek help. And please encourage him to an established, respected local church as I'm concerned he could fall in to a church at the more extreme ends of things. Flowers for you.

CherriesInTheSnow · 27/10/2017 09:38

For goodness sake Yellow no one is saying religion is a mental illness Hmm

They are saying sudden intense/devout religious beliefs - particularly the "I have all the answers now" behaviour is a sign of religious delusions that are signs of mental health issues.