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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Straw-poll please - Do you make breakfast for your DH /DP?

342 replies

rumginger · 25/10/2017 17:42

I told DH at 8am I would put this on MN and give him feedback, but he has no clue about this really.

I do usually make him breakfast in the mornings because I'm doing it for the DC as well, so fine. However, we're now into the second week of half-term which means I don't strictly need to be up at 6.30, but I'm kind of in the habit and the cats need feeding anyway. So this morning I had made him poached eggs with salmon on muffins and this is what he actually said to me - "Is there no hollandaise sauce with this?"

Firstly, as if anyone can be bothered to be faffing with egg yolks that early. Secondly, I told him most people would be lucky to get breakfast made for them at all. I don't think I am BU, but could MN please confirm that he is on his own planet to even ask such a question?

Thankyou.

OP posts:

Seeyamonday · 27/10/2017 10:06

I leave the house for work while husband is in bed so he gets his own during the week, Saturday and Sunday he does a long dog walk in the morning so I usually cook breakfast for him coming back, imo it's give and take, but hollandaise sauce.... NO!

Original poster

rumginger · 27/10/2017 10:39

Sometimes if I've not been well on the weekend he has gone out and brought back coffee or whatever I want from the cafe over the road. And, as I say, we do mainly go out on weekends. He just won't forage into the kitchen in his own house, this is the problem. He would go out rather than cook and how do you change that? In other areas, nothing is too much trouble.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 27/10/2017 10:52

Only time I make breakfast is when we have guests staying over. Hubby cleans up after. My husband is all grown up now and perfectly able to get his own breakfast. Yours on the other hand seems to think he lives in a hotel, and that he has a personal chef.

He’s lucky to have you, most woman, myself included, would have put our toe up his arse a long time ago and had him out the door. Who gives a shit if he’s too lazy to cook and would rather go out. Let him, he can visit the 1950s on his way and revel in his deeply unattractive man of the house attitude. I’ve no idea why you put up with it. Has he a tongue like an eel or something?

echt · 27/10/2017 11:10

When my late DH was alive, I made him a cup of tea in bed every day. I was up and about long before him, think me at 5.30., so him at 6,30. He walked the dog every morning before eats.

Weekdays we made our own brekkies. Weekends, he made the breakfasts, as he made all other meals.

NotThereEileen · 27/10/2017 11:19

Just stop making breakfast, and get him to feed the cat!
If my DH had said that I would have taken his plate and binned it.

flowersonthepiano · 27/10/2017 11:23

No. DH doesn't eat breakfast usually. Sometimes at the weekend one of us will make brunch for everyone. I do make it for DS (9) though, and am a bit concerned that I may be turning him into a spoilt princeling who could turn out with an attitude like your DH, OP. I regularly do him eggs or pancakes or bacon on weekdays. ...on reflection, I think this is because he's like his dad, and left to his own devices wouldn't have breakfast (he often doesn't want any at weekends or during holidays), and I don't want to send him to school with an empty stomach.

Original poster

rumginger · 27/10/2017 11:45

I'm a bit the same flowers - The DC all have school dinners but I'm not sure two of them actually eat, so this is another factor.

Bluntness - he's not really like an eel (if you mean he can wriggle out of things)? It's more that he kind of blanks out. If I just said I'm not doing it anymore, he would think I was being obtuse or having a drama just for the hell of it.

OP posts:

downthestrada · 27/10/2017 11:47

No. DH makes me tea in bed every day. He leaves early and I work from home. But we split everything else at home equally.

frieda909 · 27/10/2017 11:52

Oh he really was, Natsku. I cringe when I think about what I put up with! But these things just sort of creep up on you.

It’s not like he would demand his breakfast every day, exactly. He would sort of ask if I could do him a ‘favour’ because he was running late (he was ALWAYS running late) and if I said no I’d get this sort of wounded puppy look and a ‘Oh, okay. I didn’t think it was a big deal. I thought you’d want to help me. I thought we were a team’. Then if I challenged this, it would escalate into ‘God, why are you always picking fights with me? I just asked for a tiny favour, I can’t believe you’re turning it into such a big deal. You’re so moody all the time. Fine, I’ll never ask for your help again! I’ll just be late for work now. Thanks a lot.’ and so on. You get the idea! After you’ve had that fight a few dozen times you learn that it’s just easier to get up and make the breakfast

leighdinglady · 27/10/2017 11:54

We alternate daily, but it’s only a bowl of cereal and cup of tea!!!

user1491295468 · 27/10/2017 11:54

Er no. We will pour each other a bowl of cereal or make toast if the other person happens to be making breakfast at the same time (though I don’t like the way he pours the milk on the cereal so I’d decline the offer). That’s it though. Even the children (aged 6 upwards) make their own when they’re ready.

My h would probably think my cheese had fallen off my cracker if I got out of bed when I didn’t need to just to make him breakfast. I think he’d see the first time as a lovely treat, the second time as just bizarre.

mumeeee · 27/10/2017 11:59

No I don't make DH breakfast as a general rule. We usually just have cereal or toasr. Sometimes will. make a cooked breakfastfor a special occasion or may do a weekend brunch.
All other times DH gets his own.
Our children are grown up now but they started getting their own breakfasts from the age 6.
I certainally wouldn't be fussing around with poached eggs and salmon at 6.30.

Uptheduffy · 27/10/2017 12:01

I don't think that's what Bluntness meant OP

Original poster

rumginger · 27/10/2017 12:09

Oh ok Duffy. Er, no comment

OP posts:

JaneEyre70 · 27/10/2017 12:09

I used to when our DDs were little and ate before school but now he makes his own every day and has a routine of how many minutes/what order he does it in and god forbid anyone should change that. So I very happily leave him to it.

Ecureuil · 27/10/2017 12:11

No, generally DH does the DC’s breakfast when I’m showering then I sort myself out. DH doesn’t eat breakfast on weekdays.
Weekends he cooks everyone’s breakfast.

milliemolliemou · 27/10/2017 12:15

If this is a poll - your husband is BU unless this was just a one-off. I'm not great on breakfast but DH brings me tea in bed. He and DS are great scoffers so sort themselves out. I tend to do most evening meals. Quid pro quo.

brasty · 27/10/2017 12:16

Obviously depends on the age of your kids though whether they can sort themselves out or not. But adults can

Original poster

rumginger · 27/10/2017 12:19

Frieda - I can relate to that scenario with your ex because even though DH wouldn't say any of that in words, it would be a similar vibe that he would give off.

I think he only gets away with it because he's not ungiving in other ways.

OP posts:

eyebrowseyebrows · 27/10/2017 12:19

Eh?

No. I don't make any food for DH at all as we like different food (he's a health nut, I'm not).

If we happened to like the same things and we were both eating at the same time I might think about it on a 50/50 basis...but no way would I be making him breakfast all the time. It's not a hotel and I'm not a maid.

eyebrowseyebrows · 27/10/2017 12:20

In fact with the Hollandaise comment I'd have sat down and ate the breakfast myself and bloody enjoyed every mouthful.

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 27/10/2017 12:26

Maybe once a fortnight?! He leaves for work at 5ish most mornings though and eats breakfast there.

Natsku · 27/10/2017 12:32

My ex used to say that same 'team' bullshit frieda funny how our team consisted of me doing all the work and him doing sod all!

FlipFlopFlappy · 27/10/2017 12:37

Tongue like an eel

toogoodnatured · 27/10/2017 13:58

Did he wear or eat his poached eggs? 🙄

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