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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Straw-poll please - Do you make breakfast for your DH /DP?

342 replies

rumginger · 25/10/2017 17:42

I told DH at 8am I would put this on MN and give him feedback, but he has no clue about this really.

I do usually make him breakfast in the mornings because I'm doing it for the DC as well, so fine. However, we're now into the second week of half-term which means I don't strictly need to be up at 6.30, but I'm kind of in the habit and the cats need feeding anyway. So this morning I had made him poached eggs with salmon on muffins and this is what he actually said to me - "Is there no hollandaise sauce with this?"

Firstly, as if anyone can be bothered to be faffing with egg yolks that early. Secondly, I told him most people would be lucky to get breakfast made for them at all. I don't think I am BU, but could MN please confirm that he is on his own planet to even ask such a question?

Thankyou.

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 27/10/2017 08:08

And why can’t he feed the cats?

JustDanceAddict · 27/10/2017 08:25

No! Everyone makes their own. Kids have been doing their cereal for years. If on the v rare occasion on a weekend I cook breakfast then everyone gets to partake, but never during the week & theyre grateful. I know where I’d put the Hollaindaise

thegreylady · 27/10/2017 08:28

We take turns Monday to Saturday and on Sunday we either go out for brunch or he cooks at home. When I was working after he retired he did breakfast every day but Saturday when I did it. We share most things.

gardeningirl · 27/10/2017 08:29

No - my DH makes his own...Your DH seems to think he lives at a hotel!

thegreylady · 27/10/2017 08:31

Oh and we have a jar of Hollandaise sauce! He loves eggs Benedict. He is the egg poacher extraordinaire, perfect every time. I can boil, scramble or fry.

RitaMills · 27/10/2017 08:34

No, I’m away to work before he’s awake. We get every second Sunday off together and will mostly go out for breakfast or he’ll go get us a McDonald’s breakfast, sometimes I’ll make us poached egg on toast so it’s a fairly even split on who provides breakfast.

Minidoghugs · 27/10/2017 08:38

A few pp have mentioned buying their hollandaise in a jar. Does OP's Dh think hollandaise is a sauce that people generally buy in ready made like mayo? Perhaps if so, it's a little more understandable that he would ask for it.

Original poster
rumginger · 27/10/2017 08:39

Well he would feed the cats if I told him to, but not as a matter of course. I don't know, I'm starting to feel like I must be a bit mad, reading all the replies. I would just feel mean not getting up with him Confused. I wouldn't see him until about 8.30pm, or if he's out with clients, not until the next day.

OP posts:
beingsunny · 27/10/2017 08:41

Yes, but he could oks almost every night Wink

beingsunny · 27/10/2017 08:41

*cooks, he cooks almost every night

Original poster
rumginger · 27/10/2017 08:44

Mini - I think he knows you have to make it, but he probably thinks you just whisk an egg and hey presto!

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 27/10/2017 08:46

Nope, not a chance, he's lazy enough already -jesus

JustWonderingZ · 27/10/2017 08:47

I am actually in awe of you, OP. Wow.

To answer your question, I don’t. My DH gets up an hour earlier than me and takes care not to disturb me. I love my sleep. And I love my DH more for that :)

I do try to have a nice dinner ready in the evening though :)

Pregosaurus · 27/10/2017 08:49

I make breakfast for DP every day and it’s whatever he feels like, within reason. But I’m a SAHM and I do all the cooking. And love it. Bigger cooked breakfasts are reserved for the weekends - the most I cook during the week is fried/boiled eggs, really and quite often he’ll just have cereal or toast.

Kim82 · 27/10/2017 08:54

Nope, dh is up and out before I get up most mornings so there’s no way I’d be making him breakfast. We sort our own breakfasts out at the weekend too, as do the dc. I hate cooking so would rather gouge my own eyes out than cook first thing in the morning.

Catsize · 27/10/2017 08:54

My DP makes me breakfast nearly every day. Usually whilst I’m doing some morning work, but sometimes I’m just on MN. I do vast majority of other cooking, usually straight after loooong working day somewhere far away. She fines out on the story and all our friends are Shock.

Catsize · 27/10/2017 08:55

Dines

JigglyTuff · 27/10/2017 09:10

Why would you feel mean? Why can’t he make his own smoked salmon and scrambled eggs? Is he disabled? Confused

user1494409994 · 27/10/2017 09:26

It's usually toast or porridge but yes. I do it while I'm doing the kids' and the packed lunches. He's usually making the beds or in the shower at that point.

Natsku · 27/10/2017 09:31

He's usually gone to work before I even get up but sometimes I'll make him porridge (because he apparently can't figure out how to work the porridge pot) but when I do that I'll be making porridge for all of us so its no extra work for me. At weekends he sometimes makes bacon and eggs and will always ask me if I want him to make some for me too so it balances out.

I'd never get up before I have to specifically to make him breakfast unless there was a really really good reason (like both his arms were broken and he literally couldn't make his own breakfast), that's just too much.

Butterymuffin · 27/10/2017 09:35

If he thinks it comes in a jar, then frankly that's worse, because if I wanted a sauce with my breakfast that I thought was available in a jar, I wouldn't ask the person who'd already kindly cooked me the breakfast for it, I would get off my arse, walk to the fridge and look for it myself.

Am I getting this right - he's the first one up and downstairs every morning, but he doesn't feed the cats, he leaves it for you to do? That comes across very much as 'domestic stuff like animal feeding is my wife's responsibility'.

A suggestion: tell him that from now on you'd like him to feed the cats every morning when he comes down. See what he says to that and how well he sticks to it.

JessieMcJessie · 27/10/2017 09:47

I may have missed this, but what did you say to him when he asked? Did you explain calmly that making hollandaise sauce is complicated and time-consuming and so you cannot make it to order on a weekday morning (as you are not a hotel). Or did you laugh in his face and tell him not to be such an entitled fuckwit?
I'm afraid that you seem to have got into this 1950s setup by not ever challenging his attitude and expectations. Could you not sit him down and have a sensible conversation about this? While I do cook a lot for my husband (not weekday breakfast though!) we discuss what we are going to eat, he might pick up food from the supermarket on the way home from work and he never ever ever assumes that his tea will just be on the table when he gets in. I enjoy thinking about and planning food together and would find it utterly soul destroying to be treated like a restaurant.
As for not feeding the children or cats, does he not even do this ever on weekends?

If not, you are a total mug.

frieda909 · 27/10/2017 09:48

I'd never get up before I have to specifically to make him breakfast unless there was a really really good reason (like both his arms were broken and he literally couldn't make his own breakfast), that's just too much.

My ex expected me to get up and make his breakfast even when I was signed off work with a broken arm!

He’s a twat.

Minxmumma · 27/10/2017 10:00

If and it is a big if I see Dp in the morning it is because he has woken the baby up - zero chance of me making him breakfast at that time of day - he leaves at 5.30. Best he gets is his cereal in a tupperware to eat at work.

On a Sunday which is normally our only morning when we are all home together he makes breakfast for everyone. To be honest we took scouts away last weekend so he cooked brekkie for 60 so 6 isn't really a bother for him.

Hollandaise sauce!!! I'm afraid the dog would have enjoyed his salmon amd muffins for a comment like that.

Natsku · 27/10/2017 10:02

Bloody hell frieda what a twat he was!