Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Straw-poll please - Do you make breakfast for your DH /DP?

342 replies

rumginger · 25/10/2017 17:42

I told DH at 8am I would put this on MN and give him feedback, but he has no clue about this really.

I do usually make him breakfast in the mornings because I'm doing it for the DC as well, so fine. However, we're now into the second week of half-term which means I don't strictly need to be up at 6.30, but I'm kind of in the habit and the cats need feeding anyway. So this morning I had made him poached eggs with salmon on muffins and this is what he actually said to me - "Is there no hollandaise sauce with this?"

Firstly, as if anyone can be bothered to be faffing with egg yolks that early. Secondly, I told him most people would be lucky to get breakfast made for them at all. I don't think I am BU, but could MN please confirm that he is on his own planet to even ask such a question?

Thankyou.

OP posts:
cherrycola2004 · 26/10/2017 15:22

No he makes his own porridge every morning and I have a coffee

Hausfrau29 · 26/10/2017 15:34

95% of the time I get up to make DH breakfast while he’s getting ready for work. It’s nothing fancy, toast or porridge and a coffee but I always like to do it as I don’t work so I feel like it’s part of my job as a housewife! He’s never cooked for me and our DD or made me breakfast in the 10 years we’ve been together, but I’ve never serviced the car or cut the grass since we got together so we both have our own “jobs” that we’re confortable with.

Although if he made a comment about not having hollandaise sauce on his eggs, he’d be making his own breakfast for the foreseeable future - I’m not his personal chef!

The other day I couldn’t be bothered to get up and make him breakfast as he was out the door at 6am and I was comfily snuggled with DD - when I came downstairs I realised he’d eaten a MASSIVE piece of chocolate orange brownie for his breakfast so I think it’s best for his health if I continue to make it for him 😂

Honeycombcrunch · 26/10/2017 15:37

No but he brings me a cup of tea.

Tell him to make his own breakfast tomorrow as you've gone on strike.

snash12 · 26/10/2017 15:39

You went to the trouble of making eggs royale and didn't bother with hollandaise?

YABU.

CMOTDibbler · 26/10/2017 15:52

We make each other a cup of tea, and someone makes ds breakfast or tells him to get his own. At the weekend, if one of us fancied making a bacon sarnie we would ask if others wanted one. And that's it!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 26/10/2017 15:57

No most of the time he makes it for me (if I want anything). He pretty much always makes his and DS' breakfast as I have been up during the night BF'ing, so I tend to lie in a little longer in the mornings.

I usually make his dinner for him, and I cook 90% of our teas as well. He does most of the washing up and putting stuff away. Most other jobs are split equally though I always plan our meals because I enjoy it.

Princesspinkgirl · 26/10/2017 16:05

No i dont but my other half ain't a breakfast person anyway if he was id say do it urself and be quite about it lol
I already look after baby I'm pregnant to
Wash his clothes and cook dinner after work and clean so that's a complete no go

ShyOyster · 26/10/2017 16:11

I normally make DP’s breakfast. I know it’s not popular on MN but it works for us. I’m up first anyway just because I like to get ready in absolute peace and quiet. I make DS’s breakfast, so why wouldn’t I make DP’s? It’s not my job as such but then he does most of the cleaning, cuts the grass, picks up from school and lots more. It’s never anything fancy though, things like porridge, toast, occasionally a fried egg.
If he ever made a negative comment about, he would probably end up wearing said breakfast. He knows it.

LemonysSnicket · 26/10/2017 16:16

No he wakes me up as he leaves for work. But if I were awake I would make it ( no kids and I’m not in work rn so v different circs from many)

LemonysSnicket · 26/10/2017 16:18

Also that sounds amazing , fuck the hollandaise you’re not a chef ... if he wants that level of service he should pay for it.

kaytee87 · 26/10/2017 16:20

I make my dh, toddler and myself breakfast in the morning as I like us to eat together, my dh has to leave at 7.15 so wouldn’t have time otherwise. I’m a sahm. We usually take turns at the weekend or go out somewhere.

Bitchywaitress · 26/10/2017 16:21

Hummm I think if you're going to make such a lovely breakfast you might as well go the whole hog and make a quick hollandaise. Seems a shame otherwise. I would have asked my DH where the rest of it was if this was my breakfast. He is NBU.

Alicadabra · 26/10/2017 16:26

Good grief, no way. During term time, I'll usually sort out the kids' breakfast, but only because (a) it's quicker and (b) I don't want them slicing their fingertips off trying to cut bagels, but DH can sort himself out. Then again, DH's breakfast is a cup of coffee...

Serenitymummy · 26/10/2017 16:28

If my dh said that he’d definitely be joking because he’d be extremely grateful of the efforts I’d gone to. If he was even remotely serious the eggs and salmon would be wrapped around his head!!

amusedbush · 26/10/2017 16:39

DH doesn't eat breakfast (never gets up early enough and doesn't have a desk job where he can eat outside of break times) and I have coffee and porridge at my desk.

At the weekend I might make us pancakes once a month or so because he really can't make them well at all. Otherwise we fend for ourselves.

We're odd though in that have different schedules and get hungry at different times so we eat the same meal at the same time maybe once every few weeks. Generally he makes and eats his dinner around 5, then I make my own when I get home from the gym at 8pm.

CakesRUs · 26/10/2017 16:43

I’ve been with my husband for 32 years. No I don’t make him breakfast, in fact he makes the breakfast Saturday and Sunday (I do all other cooking) and he makes his own sandwiches for work too. I don’t work.

Original poster
rumginger · 26/10/2017 17:22

Ok it looks like most people just sort themselves out in general. I actually don't know how I got into this set-up. I think maybe because we have the 4 DC I just haven't really had time to think about it too much! I don't know if I started because of his expectations in the first place, or if he came to expect it over time.
He is always very busy with work and doesn't switch off easily. I feel as if I can't overload him with any more, I suppose. Plus I'm a SAHM so I'm more in the swing of things.

OP posts:
Cambionome · 26/10/2017 18:17

It's not overloading an adult to expect them to knock up a quick breakfast for themselves! Confused

shhhfastasleep · 26/10/2017 18:26

(Snorts a bit) No. Of course, not. If he is poorly or deserves a treat fryup, then I might do. As he would for me. He regularly makes dd’s breakfast. He does the weekly shopping list. He cooks most nights.
PITA in all sorts of ways but he doesn’t expect me to serve him breakfast.

ItLooksABitOff · 26/10/2017 18:28

no I don't as a rule. If I am making a cooked breakfast and have time I'll offer to make him one, but he does the same for me too.

shhhfastasleep · 26/10/2017 18:31

Op, you are a SAHM not a stay at home maid. Sorry to be a bit harsh but your job is hard enough, surely.

brasty · 26/10/2017 18:32

No, everyone for themselves in this house for breakfast.

GerdaLovesLili · 26/10/2017 18:34

Sticking frozen cinnamon buns in the oven? I'm happy to share.
Working on the toast production line? I'll stick a couple of extra slices in, but the recipient is responsible for butter and jam.

Anything else? Do it your bloody self.

Topbananaa · 26/10/2017 18:38

Haha no chance! I make him a coffee every morning but only as I'm making my own too. We might make each other a breakfast once in a while on the weekend but not very often at all.

londonrach · 26/10/2017 18:40

No. i dont know anyone who does. If at my pil my fil get everything out but we help ourselves