Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

[questioning1]

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

I'm not being rude, this is just going the same way as a lot of posts on MN, someone always brings out the "if it was a man" thing, it happens with monotonous regularity, if a man was to do the same thing then as far as I'm concerned my response would be the same, to keep trotting out the same old thing gets boring and repetitive!

kids have a much stronger grip strength, and strength to weight ratio .I coach gymnastics and most 3 year olds can hand from a bar for much longer than an adult woman.It is easier to balance too and if they do fall they are less likely to get hurt because they are lower down and weigh less.The only difficulty is if there is nothing stable at the right height to hand on to

How society has changed.
I was brought up to get out of seat for a grown up and stand.
My mums generation must have been miracle workers as they actually managed a toddler and a pram on the bus, no folding buggies back then.
No wonder our dc are growing up to be entitled twats, you reap what you sew.
My kids used to stand for adults and still do even though grown up themselves now.
There are so many people who won't move for the disabled or old and this is because they weren't socialised themselves.

'Change the bloody record love' is rude.

stitch glitches, in your opinion, and luckily that doesn't matter to me (now that's rude)

I do teach my children to respect others, but that doesn't mean treating them like they are beneath others just because they are children.
It's very clear on this thread that some adults have appalling attitudes towards children but somehow think they should still be respected just because they are older.

I'm 27 so by your logic a child on the bus should stand up for me too? Or have I not worked long enough yet?

I see the twat brigade is out in full force today. What miserable humans some of you are.

I disagree with the OP, but I think some posters are being really nasty - completely unnecessary.

Agree Gilly, said a lot more forcefully than me!
I can still remember the exact wording of the signs on the bus:
"Children travelling at half fare do so providing they do not occupy a seat if an adult is standing"

It's just bizarre that the posters lamenting the kids of today and how lacking in respect they are, are the same ones being the most rude and disrespectful on this thread. My child may need a seat on the bus, but he is perfectly respectful and considerate to the needs of others. I wonder what you are teaching your children.

You give up your seat for those less able to stand than you - pregnant women, small children/people carrying small children, elderly people, people with disabilities. Its not that hard, especially with illustrated priority seats.

If someone asks for a seat I'll assume they are less able to stand!

I have usually been offered a seat when carrying a child or getting on with a pram and toddler. I've never seen anyone ask for a seat and be refused.
I think most people are generally decent and don't have a "I got here first so fuck anyone weaker" attitude.

My 3 year old almost broke his nose when the airport bus lurched forward and he lurched with it. I was travelling alone with my DC's who were 1 & 3, since no one would get up for me I had to hold my 1 year old with one hand and hold onto the railing with the other, and I told my 3 year old to grasp the railing he could reach, but being 3, he didn't hold too tightly. The bus driver had a fit at the passengers (mostly middle aged men) who wouldn't get up for a mum & two young kids when he saw my DS's nose gushing.

I think many of those disagreeing with the OP are being particularly unpleasant - very depressing.

The double standards on this site are absolutely breathtaking.

Imagine someone suggesting not putting their 3 year old (or younger) in a car seat in the car. Hugely irresponsible, correct?

Yet, these same infants/toddlers on buses are expected to stand with nothing to hold on to, be juggled by a mother (along with shopping) while she simultaneously tries to fold down a pram on a moving vehicle.

Or are buses somehow immune to accidents? Gosh, I never knew.

I'd never risk a 3 year old's safety by having them stand.

That's awful ThePeanut.

I think the sheer thought of a child and/or the parent being treated kindly by a member of the public makes some people quiver.

My children have all been taught to respect others thank you very much!! They open doors for others, give up seats and show respect to those that deserve it, they are all adults now and have good jobs through hard work, one is in the armed forces, so if that was a dig at me then what I've taught my kids it's to treat others as you would like to be treated but take bullshit from no one!

Cathf, pensioners travel for free- should they stand too?

It was a general comment but don't let that get in the way of another angry rant.

My children have all been taught to respect others thank you very much!! They open doors for others, give up seats and show respect to those that deserve it

My two do all that too, despite my expecting grown adults to give them a seat when they were 3.

whether you personally would or wouldn't do a certain thing in a certain situation does not cover the whole range of reasonable behaviour.

Asking for her child to have a seat is perfectly reasonable. It's certainly preferable to standing there with a face like a slapped arse waiting for someone to offer you a seat and expecting everyone else to operate with the same molly martyr tactics.

Not an angry rant at all, you asked a question and I answered it!

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round.

Ah, now I was always brought up to think that people give their seats to someone in greater need than them. As a healthy, able bodied adult, I would think a toddler was in far greater need of a seat on a bus than me. I can stand safely, reach handrails, am unlikely to fall over (and crash into others) when the bus moves suddenly, etc. A toddler can't. And this toddler was being cared for by someone also caring for and manoeuvring a pram. I prefer not to make people's lives unnecessarily harder, and I certainly prefer an environment that is as safe as it can be.

I've been there having to juggle pram, toddler and shopping on a moving bus with irritable passengers. Makes me want to give up and stay at home!

I was on a bus recently and a frail elderly person with two walking aids shuffled slowly on and stood in front of the priority seat (for some time, shockingly) and had to ask two children to move, parents ingored the whole interaction. The less able-bodied always has priority. Small children can be held, standing or seated on lap. A whole generation of young people are being raised to just not see other people around them and consider the needs of others.