Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

[questioning1]

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

I've asked someone to give up a seat for my 6 year old.
Very, very crowded bus and she was getting squashed.
I got some right abuse, not from the lady who gave up her seat but from someone else. I genuingely don't care, my daughters safety is more important.
For the record, I do regularly give up my seat. When I was heavily pregnant I gave up my seat to a lady who was visible frail. No one else moved, either to give her or me a seat. I didn't expect to be given a seat but was surprised by the apathy.

3 is too young to stand on a moving bus, especially if parent is juggling other things. Either can sit on lap or someone should offer seat.
Older children should offer seats to elderly once they have confident feet.

Of course the child needed the seat. Why should a child struggle so an adult can sit down? My child has mobility issues and has extremely poor balance. She wouldn't be able to stand on a bus.

Why can't we accept that some people are just selfish/entitled/rude?

Oh I have absolutely no trouble accepting that the adults who want children to move out of their seat for them are selfish/entitled/rude.

M 3 year old doesn't have any special needs, yet he is unsteady on his feet, wouldn't have a clue how to adjust his weight and steady himself if the bus lurched, not very conscious of danger and I wouldn't rely on him to hold on at all times even if he had something to hold.

There's nothing unusual or badly behaved about any of that, it's just normal 3 year old behaviour.

Also, for the record I have a disabled bus pass. I have never and would never use that as an excuse to get a seat.
Although I did once see a very rude lady who wanted to sit at the front of a bus (but seemed OK to sit in any of the many other seats) huffing and puffing about the disgrace of the man sat in the disabled seat. She was very rude and horrible. I admit I would have got my disabled bus pass and waved that under her nose if she'd done that to me.

I thought the priority seat WAS for mothers with children as well as the elderly and infirm?

YABU it’s not really any of your concern is it? And besides I think a 3 year old child is more in need of a seat than an able bodied adult for safety more than anything, regardless of any potential special needs requirements.

This thread is ridiculous. Priority seats should be given up for the elderly, disabled, pregnant women or parents with toddlers. If you are not sat in a priority seat then it is up to that person to decide whether they want to give it up or not. Just like it's passengers choices to get on a busy bus that has no seats available.

@questioning1

I'm with you OP. There is no way on earth I would give up my seat to a child, I was brought up in the times when children moved for their elders. But I've seen it happen plenty of times. And been astounded every time Luckily I never have to get public transport anymore.

It comes from the same phenomenon that has elevated children into gods whose needs trump all others, and who must be revered, never disciplined and coddled in cotton wool in case their snowflake breaks.

Chocolate, by that logic people are perfectly entitled to ask someone to give up their seat.

And they are perfectly entitled to say no.

LaurieMarlow
M 3 year old doesn't have any special needs, yet he is unsteady on his feet, wouldn't have a clue how to adjust his weight and steady himself if the bus lurched, not very conscious of danger and I wouldn't rely on him to hold on at all times even if he had something to hold.
There's nothing unusual or badly behaved about any of that, it's just normal 3 year old behaviour.

You have got to be kidding. You think 3 year olds who don't have a clue how to adjust their weight is normal 3 year old behaviour??? Not very conscious of danger?

There are 2 year olds starting ballet and gymnastic lessons, always has been. I've seen 3 year olds on small beams, standing on one leg with the other in near full splits.

If ever someone wants to read the most f-ed up description of children's "normal behaviour", it's here on MN.

In London the priority seats literally have a picture of a person holding a child. So YABU

I'd much rather stand and give a three year old my seat than have them thrown around the bus. Infant any child. I as an adult have better balance so I'd give a kid my seat. So yabu. On our buses here it's priority seats for elderly, disabled and young kids.

A kindly person would also have noticed that the woman in question might have used a sit down - even if it was only for a short hop.

As others have noted, the priority seats are for people with little kids. I ask in this situation because most people start looking very intently at their phones rather than do the fair thing.

Jesus. A lot of people on here have forgotten how little 3 year olds are. Flowerpot - My 2 year old is good at climbing and balancing but I wouldn’t fancy his chances when a bus lurches and risk him being in danger.

I have asked my four year old to stand for a very frail elderly lady when NO other adult offered their seat.

Generally I would hope that adults give up their seat for a young child, it is hard for them to stay stable. My son was thrown face first onto the ground once and that finally got people to stand up.

I notice it's always young men and women who are first to offer their seats, middle aged men are the least likely

Priority seating is for pregnant women, disabled people, the elderly and people with babies/toddlers. So she was within her rights to request a seat. My 2 year old couldn't stand on public transport and would probably try to wander off if he wasn't being carried, so I would also use my right to seat.

A 13 year old can easily stand on a bus, a 3 year old can't. Where possible I'd have them on my lap or they take the seat and I stand.

Some people really are miserable gits!!

I think you might be projecting a bit there Bananasaregood

I'm glad I drive. Could not be arsed with all this drama

flowerpot clearly speaking as someone who hasn't come across a three year old in a long, long time possibly ever

You're embarrassing yourself now. Best to put a lid on it