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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman on bus got people to move for her toddler

363 replies

questioning1 · 25/10/2017 10:04

Not sure whether AIBU or not. Was on the rush hour bus this morning (in London) sitting on one of those raised high up seats at the very front of the bus.

A lady with a baby in a pram and a toddler (maybe 3?) got on the bus. She walked down the aisle past me and parked her pram, and said to the bus at large, 'Can someone move for my son please?'

I was always brought up to think that children make room for adults - for example they give up a seat for someone, not the other way round. Anyway a few mins later I turned around again and the woman was sitting in a priority seat with her son on her lap!

AIBU to think that 1) she shouldn't have asked for a seat for her son and 2) she shouldn't have sat in a priority seat herself once it had been vacated?

She then got off two stops later! I'm genuinely not sure if it's just me or not.

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 25/10/2017 15:11

And I can't believe that some people think a toddler tripping over in a moving vehicle is a price worth paying so that an able bodied adult can sit down. I'd be ashamed to stay seated whilst a tiny child was struggling to stay upright. That's entitled.

hamburgler · 25/10/2017 15:13

I wouldn’t have stood up though. I hate standing on buses and would only stand for someone who was disabled, elderly or pregnant.

So if you were in a priority seat and someone asked to sit down, you would refuse unless they were visibly disabled/disabled enough for your liking?

Do you have any idea how bigoted that is? How much damage attitudes like that hurt people with invisible disabilities?

ChelleDawg2020 · 25/10/2017 15:19

Children should give way to adults on public transport. The woman on the bus was very unreasonable to ask others to move for her child. If the woman had an issue with her child standing, she should have waited for a quieter bus.

LaurieMarlow · 25/10/2017 15:20

I would be absolutely ashamed to have a seat while a three year old struggled. The entitled attitudes on this thread are appalling.

hamburgler · 25/10/2017 15:21

So a 15 yr old should move for an 18 yr old, Chelle? Even if the 15 yr old is disabled?

Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm

stitchglitched · 25/10/2017 15:24

Should my 9 year old with hidden disabilities give up his seat for an able bodied adult Chelle?

MyfanwyMontez · 25/10/2017 15:24

I have not read the full tread BUT, what I have read really makes me wonder where society is heading.
Ok, we all agree that we should give up a seat for disabled people, the elderly. Good!At least we are agreed on that one.
People have become so bloody selfish that they cannot see beyond their own needs and sense of (I hate to use the word) entitlement!
That toddler could have any kind of medical condition e.g. Epilepsy, in which case they would be better seated should they have a seizure.
If someone asks you for your seat , as in "do you mind if I have a seat please "there
is probably good reason why they are asking.
I will frequently offer my seat to pregnant women, elderly people and people with children because that's what consideration is!
We are all free to use public transport, we may not always get a seat but if we are lucky enough to get one then accept at some point someone may need one more than you and do the decent thing!

frieda909 · 25/10/2017 15:29

I think it's more a case of "youth of today, back in my day" sort of thing that has been going on since time began.

YES. Thank you. I’m amazed that so many people can’t see this. They talk like there were never any spoilt or naughty children in ‘their day’! And you can find Ancient Greek writers complaining about the younger generations being lazy and entitled. It’s nothing new!

Resist the urge that tells you to demonise the next generation. It’s not pretty.

Spikeyball · 25/10/2017 15:31

"Because of the parents such as on here who have brought them up actually believing the world revolves around them."

Oh the irony.

Siarie · 25/10/2017 15:32

My toddler can't stand up very well, she has hyper mobility and low tone as well as other delays. It's not like people carry a sign on their head with their life stories written on.

Besides i'd get up for a toddler anyway, buses aren't designed for toddlers to be standing up on them.

haveagobletofblood · 25/10/2017 15:43

Toddlers should not be taking up one, end of story.

Oh look, it's end of story, we can all stop discussing now because @controversialmyrtle said so Hmm

blackteasplease · 25/10/2017 15:47

She had a buggy and a toddler. Really hard to manoeuvre plus the toddler would easily go flying.

Once they are school age or so I agree that they are more able to stand tham adults, but preschoolers are v wobbly. Plus she was probably exhausted herself with that combination!

Yabu OP and I think you should try a bit of empathy.

I also think she shouldn't have had to ask!

blackteasplease · 25/10/2017 15:49

Ps I do make my 9 yo stand if the bus/ tram whatever is full. As I don't have a buggy as well I can keep hold of my 3 yo standing but if I had a baby too I'd want him sitting down.

MyfanwyMontez · 25/10/2017 15:49

blackteasplease
Agree 100%

SoupDragon · 25/10/2017 15:53

Toddlers should not be taking up one, end of story.

They arent. Generally they are sitting on the lap of a parent like the one in the OP was.

controversialmyrtle · 25/10/2017 15:56

@SoupDragon everybody else's toddlers on this thread seem to be!

RedToothBrush · 25/10/2017 15:58

Strange thread.

Whilst on holiday in Spain, every train/bus/underground we went on, people constantly offered a seat for us because we had a toddler, which we politely refused because DS loves to stand on vehicles (he's a strange child). When I say constantly, I mean pretty much every journey. It was obviously a normal and expected thing to do, to offer a seat to parent with small child.

It does make me wonder, whether attitudes on this thread and particularly British and not universal.

MrSnrubYesThatsIt · 25/10/2017 15:59

2014newme
What an unpleasant, stickybeak, busy body you are. FFS.

That is well out of order.
Quite the overreaction.

nosleepforme · 25/10/2017 16:01

why should she not get a priority seat with 2 young children? i hope that if i was on the bus in that position, i wouldnt have to ask. realistically, it is not safe for her to stand holding the toddler and the pram

ittakes2 · 25/10/2017 16:04

YABU.

buntingqueen · 25/10/2017 16:06

I’m in my 30s, and perfectly capable of standing on a bus! Why on earth do people have this idea that adults are more entitled to a seat than a child?! If a child was in a seat before I got on a bus, then I wouldn’t expect them to move for me! And if a parent or child asked me for my seat so they could sit down, I would assume there was a reason, and would have no issue giving up my seat. How does being so disrespectful of children teach them to respect adults?

LongWavyHair · 25/10/2017 16:06

Red It probably is a British thing. Some societies adore children but ours can be quite cold towards children.

CamelliaSinensis35 · 25/10/2017 16:08

To be honest, I'm only dipping into this thread while doing something else (that I really should be focusing on,) so I'm not actually paying that much attention (I save my best thinking for my actual job, believe it or not).

Grin good answer. Hope the thread didn't take up too big a share of your finite intellectual resources, therefore affecting your ability to perform in your actual job.

cathf · 25/10/2017 16:09

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