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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that DD has spent a good 15 hours playing video games today?

322 replies

VerityMichaels · 25/10/2017 02:14

She’s still up now. Is 17 (18 in December).

It’s just annoying. She won’t roll out of bed until 11/12 tomorrow. She won’t go out with her friends (she is constantly getting messages off them and although texts them a lot, she says she “can’t be arsed to see them as she sees them every day at college” even though they have invited her to some really great places). She’s just so lazy.

Surely 15 hours (and counting) just isn’t healthy? She is working tomorrow evening, but from when she gets up at midday until 1 hour before she is due to start work, she will be playing it again.

Nightmare.

AIBU?

OP posts:
StudentMumArghh · 25/10/2017 09:54

My DB was like this, from about 14-17 yo, he spent all his time playing video games. All day and all night and then sleep until 12/1/2pm. He would never go out or do anything.

He is now 18, in full time college and working 30 hours a week. He's passed his test and aims to go to uni in a couple of years.

You need to leave you DD be, she's nearly 17 and you can't police her spare time. Would you be so bothered if she was reading? Most people enjoy socialising but some (like me) prefer their own company and this is ok.

She'll soon sort herself out. If my DB can do it, then so can anyone.

formerbabe · 25/10/2017 09:55

I'm surprised so many people say this is fine and normal. 15 hours a day! Seriously, that is an incredible amount of time. Back in the day, I could easily play Tetris for a good couple of hours Grin but I still socialised and did other things.

Lethaldrizzle · 25/10/2017 09:57

15 hours? Are you having a laugh. That's completely excessive and obsessive. I'm amazed at the amount of people who think it's ok. I don't think I've ever done any leisure activity for 15 hours straight whether it's reading, watching TV, whatever. It's not normal. I would not let one of my kids do this sorry. Leave home do what you like .....

FreakinScaryCaaw · 25/10/2017 09:59

Some parents will say it’s ok because to admit it’s rubbish means they have to look at their own parenting

Agree ^^

FreakinScaryCaaw · 25/10/2017 10:00

formerbabe I love Tetris Halloween Grin

StudentMumArghh · 25/10/2017 10:02

OP hasn't specified how often this happens either. I hate this 'I would never do this', 'it's not normal'.

Like I said there are people who don't like going outside and socialising, as the majority of people do enjoy this, it is considered the norm. But different people have different personality and shouldn't have to conform to what others view as normal.

WomblingThree · 25/10/2017 10:09

@Lethaldrizzle oh the irony. Not old enough to be able to choose what they do with their leisure time, but old enough to be kicked out 🙄

gamerchick · 25/10/2017 10:10

Well I don’t know what it said about my parenting as a kid because given a chance and a new game, I would spend a whole day with the curtains drawn and I’m 42 Wink

I wouldn’t pay attention to the shit parenting thing people like to trott out considering I would hazard a guess that right now this minute there are a load of kids just getting on with themselves while their caregiver is on mumsnet telling other parents how shit a parent they are for hours Grin

Lethaldrizzle · 25/10/2017 10:10

No but as a parent I try to raise kids to interact with the outside world because that's my job - to prepare them for life

Peanutbuttercheese · 25/10/2017 10:10

I hate how gaming is stigmastised. I was gaming almost forty years ago and have gamed ever since. I managed a really decent career in higher education in two red brick universities. Worked as a volunteer offering employment law advice for free, last time I checked I wasnt some lower form of life which is literally how gamers seem to be viewed here. Reading is great, done a lot of it myself. People can have huge bookcases and have read a lot but it doesn't automatically make them intelligent.

If it becomes an addiction then it is an issue, 15 hours is a lot but as a one off Idon't sweat it.

All I say to my fellow gamers here is keep pew pewing.

araiwa · 25/10/2017 10:12

Pwned noob

formerbabe · 25/10/2017 10:14

Just re reading the op. Is she feeling down? You say her friends are texting her but she can't be arsed to see them. That doesn't sound right to me. Teenagers love spending time with their mates don't they? I used to.

RealWomanOhYes · 25/10/2017 10:16

Oh I'm totally ignoring the parenting comments. I admit 15 hours straight isn't great, but if I "look at my own parenting" I've helped my DS really come on by removing the stick from my arse about youngsters starting gaming young, not least because he can now actually hold a conversation with someone without crying. More than happy with my parenting :)

gamerchick · 25/10/2017 10:18

All I say to my fellow gamers here is keep pew pewing

I wish, it’s half term so can’t get near my games. It’s all co-op with the 10 yr old on blur where he kicks my arse often.

Tell you what, you learn an awful lot of what’s bothering if anything your child of you play co-op on a game with them. Gets them talking in a lovely distracted way so they don’t get upset about said issue.

RealWomanOhYes · 25/10/2017 10:19

Gamer - my DS kicks my arse on Destiny, I feel I need to practice, must have a spare 15 hours somewhere Grin

lunakitty2609 · 25/10/2017 10:22

Well I don’t know what it said about my parenting as a kid because given a chance and a new game, I would spend a whole day with the curtains drawn and I’m 42 wink

Gamerchick
I agree.. my kids love games, I love games. If we want to play games all day and do nothing else, why should someone care? It's my life and they're my kids so they can all butt the heck out Halloween Grin

gamerchick · 25/10/2017 10:23

Gamer - my DS kicks my arse on Destiny, I feel I need to practice, must have a spare 15 hours somewhere grin

Grin

I feel the same sometimes when he does the jig dance at my humiliating defeat.

RealWomanOhYes · 25/10/2017 10:26

Oh and def agree about talking and lines of communication, it was via co-ops that he first spoke of some troubles he was having at school. Like you say it gets them relaxed and takes any focus off "the conversation " that's when I also discovered that his speech impediment completely disappears when he's gaming and it's starting to show now in conversations away from games. And that he can work out how many hundreds of points he needs to upgrade a character, when before he struggled with 10 minus 3. And he recollects entire story lines that hes read on the subtitles. No denying that they aren't totally the work of the devil.

MaisyPops · 25/10/2017 10:28

She made one point. Then when it became apparently that the point was ridiculous she changed her point and treated it as if it was her point all along.

No i didn't. And my point isnt ridiculous.

I deliberately swapped gaming with gambling because it is an activity that people would have zero issue seeing the problem of someone doing it for 15 hours and into rhr early morning.

Clearly a comparison between doing one addictive activity and another hit a nerve with people on the thread.

If people can see gambling for 15 hours is an issur then they can ser that drinking for 15 hours is an issue, or gaming for 15 hours, or going to thr gym for 15 hours is also an issue.

The only difference is that gamers (as in people who identify as gamers rather than people who happen yo play games) love to feel sorry for themselves about how nobody gets gaming and everyone is so mean about it and they are judged for it. Nobody cares if someone enjoys playing games, but they will think playing for 15 hours is odd.

MetalMidget · 25/10/2017 10:29

I used to binge on gaming in my student years. It was glorious. Playing RPGs in particular could keep me in front of the screen for most of the day. Now I have a backlog of games.

What you or her friends think of as being 'really great places' might not be to her taste, just as her gaming isn't to yours.

15 hours a day is a lot, but if it's a rarity during the holiday and she's not missing work or college, there's really not a problem.

gamerchick · 25/10/2017 10:30

Exactly luna!

It’s just really sad that some parents won’t at least attempt to see what all the fuss is about with their kids. It really just is another level of bonding. How many kids would be tickled pink at their mother asking them to teach them how to play the game they’re into? It’s just a shame I think that being an adult means being closed minded.

JacquesHammer · 25/10/2017 10:32

No but as a parent I try to raise kids to interact with the outside world because that's my job - to prepare them for life

The OP's DD is at college and has a job - how is that not interacting with the outside world and indeed being prepared for life.

I won't be leaving the house between Thursday and Sunday - I can't bloody wait Grin

RealWomanOhYes · 25/10/2017 10:33

Wonder how long it will be before were lambasted for being 'matey' with our DC because we dare to play games with them.........

Lethaldrizzle · 25/10/2017 10:34

I wasn't attacking the gaming culture, I said I wouldn't be happy with a kid of mine doing any sedentary leisure activity for 15 hours straight be it reading, tv or gaming.

gamerchick · 25/10/2017 10:37

Wonder how long it will be before were lambasted for being 'matey' with our DC because we dare to play games with them.........

Howayman we aren’t bothered about stuff like that. Keeping lines of communication open is hard enough without shunning one that works because randoms don’t approve.

If someone is studying and working then how they spend their downtime is up.to.them! You can’t micromanage your kids well into adulthood.

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