To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

[revolution909]

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

I need a list of things I cant say to my friends who are doing well in case they think I'm infatuated with them.

Haveyoutriedturningitoffandon totally and I get what you mean about those trainers Incan go on for hours why I lobe my Adidas and regret buying Hokas. But yes I think even making an effort of saying hello will do wonders for this.

JonSnowsWife no actually I wouldn't. But hey I rarely say darling (apart from DH). Besides it came to because he called me "a fabulous woman" I replied that I didn't think that of myself but good for him and then he replied with the "darling"

Why did you follow him again?

Because I realised I was being prejudiced. I actually had a very similar conversation about the abs with a lady and the content itself was the same but the form different. So maybe I'm he one who's wrong.

If something makes you feel uncomfortable say something direct to him. Like ‘i’d Prefer it if we could avoid personal compliments’.

To go straight to telling someone’s wife sounds neurotic, unhinged it vengeful.

You are a grown woman. Block him, say ‘i’m Blocking personal messages ‘ or whatever.

Most people here, who think you are over reacting, have said leave him blocked if he makes you uncomfortable.

You dont have to follow anyone. Even if you are, imo, over reacting.

You dont know this guy. You want offline chat, but when he does you dont like his tone. So make it so you dont get his offline chat.

Dear oh dear oh dear
So op, are you or are you not secretly enjoying all this, is he/isnt he flirting, the drama, talking it over with everyone, being called darling, blocking, unblocking ....
Really, get more hobbies. You sound so bored.

It isn't prejudiced to block someone you define as creepy.

If it was a woman sending you these messages and pictures it wouldn't have crossed your mind that she was flirting with you.

I don't see anything block worthy or drama inspiring in these 'incidents' at all.

I don't get it.

But I get the feeling I probably shouldn't say anything nice to anybody ever again just in case it's 'creepy' because that's clearly what's going on here

Oh and if someone came running to me telling tales because my husband paid them a compliment or liked their very boring photos on social media, I'd be fucking furious with THEM not DH. Leave his poor wife alone.

revolution your posts make you sound like a young teenager, unnecessary drama and unnecessary handwringing.

As you’ve said that you have difficulties managing people I’m going to explain it to you again:

If any man (married or not) makes you feel uncomfortable in your interactions with him you SHUT HIM DOWN

This can be tricky in some circumstances but in this case it’s easy peasy: block him on all social media.

You don’t have a real life relationship with him so blocking him permanently fixes your issue. Forever.

Problem sorted.

You have repeatedly posted about this but the solution is extraordinarily simple.

Why repeatedly ask for advice and then not follow the unanimous advice?

Posters doubt your credibility because you are behaving like a particularly idiotic teenager (and to be honest when my DD is a teen I’d expect her to have more sense.)

There is nothing flattering in the interest of a married man. Encouraging that interest doesn’t reflect well on you at all.

There are literally millions of other runners to talk to online.

I think he likes you, but i dont think its anything to be concerned about or tell his wife. You can always ignore the pms

So he sent you a message that you're a 'fabulous woman', so you respond with a further message fishing for more compliments.
This isn't confusing at all. For whatever reason, you enjoy the attention. I can't say that i've ever unblocked an unwanted admirer after I've blocked.
What do you want from that 'relationship'?

Oh good grief! To have such problems as these, what a sheltered life you must lead OP.

If you feel uncomfortable, block him and move on with your life. He hasn't done anything wrong in my opinion and I wouldn't bat an eyelid if my husband sent messages like this to another woman. I know many men who end texts (to women they know well and those they know not so well) with kisses. It means nothing.

I think you should overreact a bit more, have you thought about calling the police perhaps? Nothing less than a prison sentence will do for this outrageous fellow!

your posts make you sound like a young teenager, unnecessary drama and unnecessary handwringing.

I disagree. My Niece is a young teenager. She'd never overeact like this.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if my husband sent messages like this to another woman. I know many men who end texts (to women they know well and those they know not so well) with kisses. It means nothing.

sunflow I did this recently with ExDH. I 'sign off' my texts with a kiss. I sent him a quick text asking what time he was bringing the DCs back and put a kiss on the end.

I'm suprised his GF hasn't been around yet giving me what for

JonSnowsWife - I'd be on red alert if I were you. She's probably on her way to you right now, cleaver in hand. The only conclusion I can come to is that you must want your exDH back, why else would you end a text with kisses?! HA!

I know JonSnow I apologise.

To be honest my DD is in primary school and has more sense. Annoying boys get ignored. It’s not complicated.

Well after we have a shared interest. So after that photo that really freaked me out, we just geeked out about shoes . All compliments aside it was nice to be able to chat about it.

So now you are happily chatting through DMs, to this 'creepy' man who makes you feel uncomfortable?

You are either really lacking confidence and enjoying the attention and the 'does he fancy me'' drama or you are just making this up.

You are either really lacking confidence and enjoying the attention and the 'does he fancy me'' drama or you are just making this up.
My vote is enjoying the 'does he fancy me' drama.

I expect another thread in a day or two.

Yanbu if it makes you uncomfortable.

However, this sounds remarkably like my husband (though he's only had showers this week) who engages in the online running community (including people in his club, some of whom he rarely talks to in real life) in order to grow and maintain his following, make contacts etc all in support of the main reason he runs - for charity.

He likes, comments, and pms in ludicrous amounts and I can tell you, as his wife and even as a runner myself, it does mean that 90% of our conversations are no longer solely about running. I'm pretty thankful about that.

Either engage or don't. I think you've taken it out of context though.

What on earth is the matter with you OP?

Why did you start this thread in the first place if you're now going to end up chatting away to the person who so say makes you uncomfortable?

It seems to me as if you are the person doing the flirting not him