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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

423 replies

revolution909 · 24/10/2017 23:33

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

OP posts:
GetYourRosariesOffMyOvaries · 25/10/2017 21:35

You're saying you're not really close with anyone else at the running club yet you've been telling them all about his "creepy" behaviour! Then making two threads about this nothing issue Confused Debating whether to tell his wife that he has liked and commented on your pics (the whole point of social media, no?)

For the record I do think a lot of men, especially on SM, are creepy slimeballs. He may well be too but so far you have come across much more creepy and obsessed tbh.

There is so many better things to fill your time and conversations up with than this tripe. Nasty and disgusting to have discussed him with others you aren't even friendly with though Biscuit

PaintingByNumbers · 25/10/2017 21:50

Really
You need more hobbies

WorraLiberty · 25/10/2017 21:54

Unblocked him my arse Hmm

Original poster
revolution909 · 25/10/2017 22:10

I've never discussed his behaviour with anyone at club! I think that had been established by now? Ive asked my BF who thought was weird and two other mums. One definitely called him creepy. I haven't been able to see my BF because of life so nope I haven't been able to get this out of my system so to speak. I'm extremely socially awkward myself (especially with men) so I've been trying to distance my lack of experience so I could see this more objectively. Which after giving it some thought I think I have at least partially misjudged him. I only dates a guy for a few months before meeting my DH and I haven't worked with people in the flesh for the past 6 years, so yes human interaction is not my forte.

OP posts:
RebelFreddyVSRogueJason · 25/10/2017 22:18

What does your DH think about all this?

Original poster
revolution909 · 25/10/2017 22:39

He didn't like the legs photo tbh. He thought that was a bit too much. He wasn't very amused that another man was sending me photos of said man having a bath. The rest he finds it odd but not a red flag per se. He just think the other bloke might be socially awkward too.

OP posts:
Meandtwo · 25/10/2017 22:47

Not a fucking clue what Strava is but you sound like a right drama queen! Get a grip and stop making a mountain out of a molehill and for goodness sake don't go annoying his wife with your nonsense...

meltingmarshmallows · 25/10/2017 22:49

It feels as though you’re looking for a problem here and enjoying the drama. Wether he’s creepy or not, the simple solution is to just stop responding.

It doesn’t require 2 posts and the idea of going to his wife is just ridiculous.

Ignore him & get on with your day. If he’s making you feel uncomfortable, block him and think no more of it.

JonSnowsWife · 25/10/2017 22:51

He wasn't very amused that another man was sending me photos of said man having a bath.

But if you didn't refollow him after you unblocked him. Neither of you would have seen the legs photo. Confused

rightknockered · 25/10/2017 22:52

Tell him you don't fancy him
Tell him to stop bugging you
Tell him you will tell his wife
Tell your dh, (poor man)
Or you can continue playing out your fantasy that every contact from him is a sign.

rightknockered · 25/10/2017 22:54

Your life sure can't be very interesting if this is all it takes for you to have to fan yourself

Capricorn76 · 25/10/2017 22:56

Sorry OP but it sounds as though you're the one who fancies him and are looking into everything he does as a sign he fancies you.

Insomnibrat · 25/10/2017 22:58

He's been testing the water on Insta and Stavav and has upped the game by sliding into your inbox.
My betting it isn't the only thing he wouldn't mind sliding into. Proceed with caution.

Insomnibrat · 25/10/2017 22:59

*strava

Haveyoutriedturningitoffandon · 25/10/2017 23:02

Runners are a weird breed (I should know, I am one!) and we do tend to overshare. I'll talk to you about Epsom Salts for hours if you like it's the 'finding a kindred spirit' thing as non runners don't tend to 'get' it. Why on earth do we run at 6am in the pissing rain and howling wind? Not a slur, took me 38 years to get into it, but it's easy to excited about stuff that normal people wouldn't care at all about!
I've sent pics of my legs to fellow running buddies (although female ones, I'm female for context) for various reasons - maybe to show off new compression socks/new trainers/a new muscle 🤷🏼‍♀️ Doesn't mean I want to have a romance with them. I think it's fine OP. But, if you're uncomfortable, which you are, then reblock him and disengage. Best option all round.

TemptressofWaikiki · 25/10/2017 23:10

Mountain Mole Hill

Drama Llama

Original poster
revolution909 · 25/10/2017 23:12

Very true Haveyoutriedturningitoffandon and that's I guess why to some extent I can't make up my mind. Who else gets excited about getting their gait analysed? Or go on for hours about how there's this random pain in X or y. Maybe we both need friends with a shared interest and we're just too clumsy at it.

OP posts:
mrspatel77 · 26/10/2017 04:53

Personally I think you get a gut feeling in these situations and your gut is never wrong. If it makes you feel uncomfortable then you need to put the boundary in. You’ve done the right thing

OnionKnight · 26/10/2017 06:40

You seem to be liking this, why block him and then unblock him?! Just block him again and get on with your life.

JonSnowsWife · 26/10/2017 07:00

They're not going to answer that question OnionKnight. I've already asked it twice.

It's almost like the rest of us dont know how Insta works... Hmm

SparklyMagpie · 26/10/2017 07:36

Admit it OP, it sounds like it's you that has a crush on him

Why would you even unblock him? Because you're missing the attention

Original poster
revolution909 · 26/10/2017 07:42

Basically because I thought of giving him the BOTD. And yes all cheesy compliments aside (like "darling you're fabulous") it was nice to chat to someone about a hobby that I invest 14hrs a week on it.

OP posts:
Haveyoutriedturningitoffandon · 26/10/2017 08:06

Well yeah, and us solo runners can tend to be a bit clumsy socially (why else would we choose a sport where we actively run away from other people??) Grin
I'll also speak to you about gait analysis and my new trainers that really help my shin splints for hours
Could you just speak to him in person? I know that goes against the grain, but a bit of an awkward conversation may be enough to sort it all out? Wink

JonSnowsWife · 26/10/2017 08:11

Basically because I thought of giving him the BOTD

No can't say I've ever unblocked and refollowed someone I thought was creepy.

JonSnowsWife · 26/10/2017 08:13

darling you're fabulous

would you think that was cheesy if a girlfriend wrote that to you?