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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

423 replies

revolution909 · 24/10/2017 23:33

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

OP posts:
Lucyyati · 28/10/2017 10:01

Be careful darling, that's when lines begin to get crossed

JonSnowsWife · 28/10/2017 10:10

and yes I still feel bad about the wife

What do you mean by you feel bad about the Wife?

MaisyPops · 28/10/2017 10:13

that's not a bad summary, although no I didn't unblock him because I missed the attention, and yes I still feel bad about the wife but I want to be calm and cool headed about it. (Unlike I was before)

So you've unblocked him and are chatting and have realised that you overreacted. If all is above board and you realise you've been an idiot why do you feel bad about the wife?

I have male friends who comment on my fitness photos and their wives can see it. I don't feel bad for their wives because they've said 'looking good' on my posts because it's platonic.

If you are feeling bad for the wife because of your chats with this person then I'm afraid you may he enjoying the drama and attention more than you care to admit to yourself and are entering dodgy territory.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 28/10/2017 10:21

This is still going?!

The thing that sticks out for me op is that you freely admit yourself you have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old. You said that. If that's true and you admit you're social awkward and emotionally immature - why would you not listen to the majority of advice on here?!

You've gone from blocking him and saying you want to tell his wife about his inappropriate behaviour to chatting to him for several hours a night. (But that's ok and you're not worried about his wife about that!)

Honestly it's all so fucked up and teenage. But your response to the people on here is bizarre. If you think you know best then (in the nicest way possible) bugger off and do it then. Don't post multiple threads on here asking for advice if you're going to ignore everyone

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 10:30

I honestly don't think I know best. And I bet his wife wouldn't be happy he spent his Friday evening chatting to me, even if it was all innocent and we just chatted and listened to music "together".

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 28/10/2017 10:30

There are more sock puppets here than on bloody Sesame Street.

Why on earth MN are letting the thread stand is beyond me.

I'm out.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 28/10/2017 10:31

But you're going to keep doing it?!?

This is the logic I'm talking about. It's absolutely insane

Madreputa · 28/10/2017 10:35

You sound like a shit stirrer. Why would you tell your wife about him?
Anything concerning their marriage is between the two of them and you shouldn't meddle.
He just gave you a compliment and this is how you want to thank him?

JonSnowsWife · 28/10/2017 10:35

And I bet his wife wouldn't be happy he spent his Friday evening chatting to me, even if it was all innocent and we just chatted and listened to music "together".

Confused

Fine then OP. Tell his wife and tell everyone what an obvious internet sleazeball he is. That'll sort it.

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 10:41

I'm not trying to be thick, but I just don't know where to draw the line. What's inappropriate and what isn't. My moral compass is all screwed :(

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 28/10/2017 10:43

* honestly don't think I know best. And I bet his wife wouldn't be happy he spent his Friday evening chatting to me, even if it was all innocent and we just chatted and listened to music "together".*

Aaaand we’re back to square one.

Madreputa · 28/10/2017 10:47

Why is your moral compass screwed? There's nothing morally wrong with his comment. He is being friendly, that's it, don't read more into it.
Even if he was hitting on you...why would you run to his wife and tell on him and stir up shit?

SparklyMagpie · 28/10/2017 11:00

And how does your husband feel about you spending your Friday night talking to this man?

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 11:04

Madreputa his intentions are still not 100% clear to me . He still showers me with compliments, which I just ignore and don't engage with. For better or for worse I do like the guy as a person, I can see myself being friends with him. But when someone tells you "have I told you today how fabulous you're, because you are" I reckon things have probably crossed a line.

OP posts:
Coconutspongexo · 28/10/2017 11:04

Are you trying to make this out to be some sort of affair?

Coconutspongexo · 28/10/2017 11:05

You're crossing the line constantly talking to him and listening to music 'together'

NameChangeFamousFolk · 28/10/2017 11:07

There are more sock puppets here than on bloody Sesame Street

Grin
Madreputa · 28/10/2017 11:17

So what if he says those things to you? You two are not exactly having an affair.
Running to wifey and grass on him is nasty.

PinkyBlunder · 28/10/2017 11:18

THEN STOP CHATTING TO HIM!!!!!!!!

But oh! I forgot! You're loving the attention and just crave to hold the big shit stirring wooden spoon. The only person with a problem here OP is YOU. Get over yourself, grow up and find something to do for the love of fuck!

SparklyMagpie · 28/10/2017 11:30

You like to ignore the fact I mention your husband don't you OP? Wink

ewen1234 · 28/10/2017 11:32

I cannot believe that people on here are still feeding this woman's ego!! I have made 2 comments already and this will be my last and its not to give HER any more advice. Quite frankly, I think she has had enough of that!! She almost managed to pull the wool over my eyes too. Good or bad advice, she has had MORE than enough.

She is keeping this going and is probably enjoying every single minute of your time because that's what delusional people do!!

Please don't give her anymore of your time. There are other posts on here from "genuine" people who may be looking for some help and support but are not receiving it because your too busy wasting your time on this person, who obviously has a very large ticket on herself!!

(Only my opinion, but three hundred and so posts and 14 pages?? Really?? Enough is enough now!!!)...

Leave her to it!!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 28/10/2017 11:33

and yet...you're still ignoring posters trying to help you!!

youre either the densest person I've ever met or just a drama llama

Either way. I can't help you

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 11:43

SparklyMagpie well my husband doesn't really know how I spent my evening. I asked him if we wanted to go upstairs with me but instead watched something on Netflix. He left all stressed out this morning to work , so no I haven't had the chance to tell him, but I will.

OP posts:
NameChangeFamousFolk · 28/10/2017 11:45

Cut the oxygen to this thread everyone.

Think of it as a mercy killing.

PennyDreadfull · 28/10/2017 13:18

"I bet his wife wouldn't be happy he spent his Friday evening chatting to me, even if it was all innocent and we just chatted and listened to music "together".

... So stop doing it?

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