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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this "friendly guy" has crossed the line and I should tell his wife?

423 replies

revolution909 · 24/10/2017 23:33

There's this guy in my running club he's shy in person but not so much on social media. He's married I know his wife. There have been a few red flags here and there but mostly I assumed he was just being friendly... Well he sent me this DM today:

"This is such an inspiring image you've come so far and will continue on your quest to achieve your goals ps I need to borrow your abs xx"

Ive already deleted him/blocked him but also thinking of telling his wife.

OP posts:
Roussette · 27/10/2017 19:00

Ooops! Blush

woosey35 · 27/10/2017 20:23

Haha I didn’t know either 😂

gamerwidow · 27/10/2017 20:28

If he is making you uncomfortable then it’s fine to block him from social media and have nothing to do with him. You don’t need to justify this the fact you don’t like what he is doing is enough.
However I wouldn’t tell his wife, what would be the point. You don’t have any evidence really and I don’t imagine she’d thank you for saying her husband is a creep even if he is.

MiaowMix · 27/10/2017 20:30

“I’m just a socially awkward girl, standing in front of a socially awkward boy... just talking about running shoes.

Course you are love.

Anyway. Back to you. It’s SO WEIRD that someone would comment on like your hair and abs after you put pictures on insta, right?
I just don’t get it, like why? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

JonSnowsWife · 27/10/2017 21:13

You don’t need to justify this the fact you don’t like what he is doing is enough

gamerwidow no one is asking her to justify it. Just clarify why she then unblocked and refollowed him given his apparent creepiness.

I had someone being creepy with me last year. I blocked them. They're still blocked.

MMcanny · 27/10/2017 21:15

No offence meant but I think you're being over sensitive.

Original poster
revolution909 · 27/10/2017 23:35

Because I realised that I was probably overreacting...

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 28/10/2017 01:14

"No I'm not obsessed ... Yes I blocked him for 8 hours, he did question why he had to follow me again I said I probably did something wrong and IG was too cool for me"

"No I'm not obesessed "

Grin ahaha Grin

Absolute tool

JonSnowsWife · 28/10/2017 06:48

Yeah it still stands I don't know the guy.

So why meet up with him? Confused (you said you'd met up with him a couple of times in previous posts).

Yes you keep saying you realised you overreacted / wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but I'm struggling to believe that there was no conversation had about why you blocked him in the first place. Did you block him just from insta? But not from Facebook? How very odd...

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 07:05

No,I've nev the most him outside of club... But I've seen a few times at club. Yeah I didn't block him from Facebook because the interaction there is pretty low and I don't post as much stuff there. There was a short conversation about me blocking him.. but I put it down to have done so by mistake and never actually admitting I had blocked him.

OP posts:
abatcalledjohn · 28/10/2017 07:30

Bloody hell.

You didn't learn from your first thread and now there's this. You sound like a hormonal teenager.

And I still think it's weird. After all, if you are part of the same club and he just wants the advice you post on IG in your running shorts and bra instead of actually talking to you in person then yeah, totes legit. Hmm

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 08:25

abatcalledjohn I genuinely think I have the emotional intelligence of a 13 year old. Plus I'm somewhat naive and inexperienced.
God only knows his real intentions, they could be seen either way. Two things stand out for me so far he showers me with compliments and he's been happy to spend a couple of hours in the evening the last couple of days chatting to me.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 28/10/2017 08:44

Chatting requires a two way conversation.
Why are you investing this much time in conversation with a man you clearly have concerns about? That is what chatting is. You've previously said you don't engage with him. He just comments on your stuff Confused

PMing/DMing you doesn't mean nothing. I have two friends on my twitter than often PM me with minute stuff. Mainly because they don't want their work seeing them ranting but trust me to be a space to vent.

Lucyyati · 28/10/2017 09:07

Jeez chill out people. We have all freaked out and done weird things on social media. Let the woman be.

Op follow your gut. If you notice something weird and your gut thinks it's not right, trust it x

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 09:08

I started engaging with him on Thursday. We've spent a few hours chatting it actually been quite nice. So no I don't find him creepy anymore, I'm not sure about his intentions but he seems to be just awkwardly social as me

OP posts:
Lucyyati · 28/10/2017 09:12

Whoa no one said it's okay to chat for a few hours!
Woman find a middle ground be careful xx

LadyOfTheCanyon · 28/10/2017 09:15

Blimey is this thread still going?

JonSnowsWife · 28/10/2017 09:26

Whoa no one said it's okay to chat for a few hours!

Not what I was saying. Read the OPs comments. Sorry but they don't add up.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 28/10/2017 09:37

Jeez chill out people. We have all freaked out and done weird things on social media. Let the woman be.

Most people, when they realise they have over-reacted, decide to learn from their mistake and leave well alone. There's something really unpleasant about continuing to drag it out day after day after day.

All this bloke is guilty of is having showed an interest in the OP's running progress. In return OP has dissected him online, suggested he's up to no good and asked as to whether she should tell his wife (about what, exactly?).

You do realise this is the second thread that this poster has started, on exactly the same subject? And having received exactly the same responses (i.e. stop being dramatic and if it bothers you then block him) she continues to milk it because she likes the attention.

Lazy2Hazy · 28/10/2017 09:37

The expressions on my face have changed so much reading this thread HmmConfusedGrinEnvyHmm

Coconutspongexo · 28/10/2017 09:51

Lucyati did you even read the thread?

sorry but I've just uploaded a photo on my Instagram - if someone compliments me on it I won't find it creepy.

If you have a IG dedicated to fitness you're going to get people complimenting your abs - it's not creepy at all.

I imagine this man is probably thinking friggin hell revolution is full on and creepy because women can be creepy too you know.

MaisyPops · 28/10/2017 09:53

lazy
My face had looked a bit like that too

Man says something nice on social media
Woman decides he must want sex and she should tell his wife
Woman blocks man because he obviously wabts to sleep with her
Woman misses attention so unblocks him and starts talking more to him and is suddenly not worried about his wife at all

Lucyyati · 28/10/2017 09:56

I don't think she should have blocked him. I think she made a mistake and over reacted. Fine. It's not a big deal. She then unblocked him, but it's a bit weird to have convos with a married man (I assume privately)

Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 10:00

MaisyPops sarcasm aside that's not a bad summary, although no I didn't unblock him because I missed the attention, and yes I still feel bad about the wife but I want to be calm and cool headed about it. (Unlike I was before)

OP posts:
Original poster
revolution909 · 28/10/2017 10:01

Lucyyati you assume correctly.

OP posts: