Little boys long hair

[Misspollyhadadollie]

My son keeps telling me people in his school think he is a girl, when I ask him why he says cause of his hair. I don't want to cut it and he hasn't asked but I don't want him being teased either. Wibu to not cut it??

My 13yo has longish curly hair, it has been a talking subject his entire life...good and bad! He's so used to it now that he has one liners rolling off his tongue to any predictable comment..

And why is it the boys that get picked on the most for their 'girlie' qualities.
It's like the worst thing a boy could possibly be is anything remotely feminine!!

Makes me
My middle DS quit the dance classes he loved and was progressing well in due to being teased by, not only other children but grown fucking men!! Ok they said it was a 'joke' but to mercilessly tease a 9 year old who loves to dance and insist it's too girlie is a sad indication of the way our society downgrades women.

Ian McEwan wrote "Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading."

Strict gender stereotyping is so very damaging to an individual's personality.
I genuinely believe there would be a lot less transgender issues if people were free to enjoy who they were and not led to think they had to behave a certain way, dress a certain way, love a certain way or be a certain way based on the gender assigned to them a birth.
Oh, your a boy but you want to were a dress, high heels and make up. Fine, off you go lad. You be that glamorous man and own it. You're allowed to do that and still be a man you know!

Sorry, I'm going off tangent again but it's annoying and I don't understand the pressure on, even very young children, to conform. It's damaging for society and a totally headfuck for those who don't fit into the boxes labelled 'normal'.

Maybe fitting in is not important to you reallyanotherone or the OP or lots of posters here. But it is very important to some children. Having long it short hair should always be the child's choice.

Ttbb teasing is not good for anyone! It I'd demoralising. Being picked on for his hair may well be quite damaging for him. Being an assertive adult who chooses something for oneself is quite different to being forced to stand out for the sake of a parent!

Oh shut up who is forcing him! He has never asked for it cut!! I am not "forcing" him to have long hair this site is ridiculous some times! If he asked for it cut I would get it cut.

Maybe fitting in is not important to you reallyanotherone or the OP or lots of posters here. But it is very important to some children. Having long it short hair should always be the child's choice.

I never said that it wasn’t. My point is an adult, particularly a parent, sending the message that a child must overide their own wants and likes in order to fit in, and being liked and included depends on a random set of criteria set by their peers. It tells them they aren’t good enough, and need to change for people to like them.

Children cannot control the actions of others, only their own. It is not possible to always fit in, they need to learn to decide whether they want to, or whether to it’s better to walk away from a friendship that is not healthy.

If he can handle it, the teasing is good for him. It's only a problem if it upsets him

Having long hair only equals going to be teased and bullied in some adults eyes.

Ds has at its shortest had shoulder length hair at its longest he could sit on it.

He might have had a couple of smart Alec comments from strangers which even at 4 he would deal with and send them packing but the boys and girls he went to school with never mentioned his hair apart from when they asked their dms if they too could have hair like his.
Ds has never been teased at school about his hair.

reallyanotherone the thoughts you are expressing 'walking away from a friendship' are how well adjusted adults think. I don't think you easily get to be well adjusted if you are excluded/other-ed/teased or bullied at a young age.

The OP needs to ensure the teacher stops the behaviour of the other kids but there is no evidence I can see that long hair is her son's choice. It seems to be her choice. That's not empowering unless he wants it too!

Oliversmumsarmy it is good and appropriate that your son has not had negative feedback about his hair. But the OP's son has had that. It seems some children get negative comments. I'be no idea why some places are better than others. Is your ds at school yet?

I feel your pain OP, DS had always had long hair and it never bothered him until the beginning of primary 3 when he started asking me to have it cut because a few kids in school were calling him a girl. I tried everything from explaining how silly it was and of course he’s not a girl to bribing him to keep it long (yes admittedly because I liked it) but when he just wouldn’t budge I had to let him follow through with the decision. I still miss his long hair.

My DS aged 3 has just had his hair cut. He came home from pre school a couple of times saying they thought he was a girl which seemed to upset him. I've cut it as he didnt like getting it combed anyway and he seemed to not want to go to the hairdressers as opposed to wanting long hair as such. He's now got a longish pixie cut with a long fringe.

With hair you so need to be guided by what they want

Most of the boys with long hair, it would seem its mainly the mums that want it. I don't understand why that is.

Personally i hate really short hair on boys. Think it looks tough.

RitaMills why did you attempt to bribe him?

Oh God I'd cut it in a jiffy. One less thing to worry about. I'd cut my girls hair short too if they let me. And when I have cut their hair before I've been the one to suggest it - they've never asked me. Why are you waiting for a 5 year old to ask you? Just suggest it to him!

Misspolly - as your DS has cornrows his hair is always neat and tidy. Some posters equate ‘long hair’ with flowing Rapunzel locks and worry about an increased likelihood of headline.
Teasing and bullying need dealing with in a school. Children’s hairstyles should be a personal choice as long as they don’t get in the way of sports or activities. The teasing must come from children who are ignorant of the many sportsmen and others who have cornrows.

Italiangreyhound because I liked his long hair, which I mentioned. It was done in a jokey way, I wasn’t cruelly emotionally blackmailing my 7 year old. He got it cut in the end, he knew it was always going to be his decision.

this is ds(11) with his floppy hair. He doesn't want it cut and hates going to the barber. I pick my battles and if he doesn't want it cut that's fine by me. He has to brush it though and keep it clean

He gets called rapunzel and a girl but so far is brushing it off

Ritamills I think you should be glad your son is UN-bribable. It is a sign if strength. I tried to bribe my son once, at someone else's suggestion. I was really glad it did not work. It means they are more there own person.

Ds gets called a girl all the time. Even when he had it cut. He thinks it is hilarious.