To think my medical notes are confidential

[jessicathecat]

I was recently in hospital and dp picked up my medical notes and started casually leafing through them

He got all huffy when i asked him to stop! Was i being unreasonable?

So how do people feel about opening letters addressed to their partner? Does your OP go through your handbag?

This is one of these topics where people see things quite differently and don't want to or can't see things differently. People are absolutely within their rights to keep private any information that they want. However, other people are entitled to think it odd to withhold information within a committed relationship. I personally would not persue a long term relationship where there wasn't a greater degree of openess.

Bertrand Yes and yes but it's usually the other way around.

What has opening letters got to do with this OP?

If a partner opened a letter addressed to me I'd be infuriated. My handbag? No worries. He could clean out my used tissues lol. In 99% of cases I would share the contents of any correspondence, but I would like to be in charge of what I disclose. I'm not a child.

The OP asked whether medical notes should remain private. Yes of course they should. It then transpired that these were general bed notes when the OP was in hospital. These contained the OP's weight. It then transpired that the OP may not be in a trusting and good relationship with her partner.

Bed notes are a necessary thing to have in a hospital.

YABU OP.

I'm guessing you open your partner's letters silverbell? All that trust.

Jeez, I would hate not having autonomy over any part of my life.

Maybe you could start another AIBU about letter opening?

Why are you so negative about trust huddley?

*hiddley

Yes of course my partner could open my letters I have nothing to hide neither does he. If however he started to get cross about this then i would think that was suspicious.

silverbell, you are the epitome of the posters who come on here day after day after day having found out their husband is having an affair. 'We never had any secrets'. 'I trusted him completely'.

Come down off your high horse before you fall and hurt yourself.

What has opening letters got to do with this OP?

Because the discussion has moved from the specific instance in the OP onto wider issues of secrecy and privacy within relationships. You were advocating for total openness and lack of boundaries in relationships and declaring anything that doesn't fit your ideal to be abnormal. So in fact you have been instrumental in moving the discussion on.

People are providing examples within the wider concept of everyday privacy to illustrate that having some boundaries within a partnership is fact quite normal and that just because everything is not shared doesn't mean there is no trust or respect.

It's not about trust, it's about being entitled to privacy.

hiddley being open or not with a partner has got bugger all to do with whether or not they'd cheat on you.

Trust nae fucker.

Yanbu they are private files. I had my FULL medical records on my bed just before I had my appendix out and me and my mum were having a lovely time reading through the pages written while I was a baby (I was in special care) a nurse came in took them off us and said I wasn't allowed to read my own records but could put a request in to see them and pay £60 for the privilege!

hiddley have not disclosed everything to anyone. (apart from doctors). I like to keep my life and some things private.

I’m of the opposite point of view. When I was in hospital some of the staff treated me badly (unintentionally or not). I would trust my partner to look out for me, to ask questions that I might be feeling too ill to ask... if the OP can’t trust her partner to always have her best interests at heart, then the issue of reading the notes is just an example of that.

If however i found out my partner was having an affair then yes I'd also share that with anyone that cared to hear it. I base a relationship on trust. If that trust is broken then its their bag not mine.

I don't feel the need to keep secrets from anyone whatsoever.

It's the blind trust of silverbell and the condescension to those of us who maybe have lived a little bit more. Like we're damaged and dysfunctional and in bad relationships for not wanting our husbands to know whether we had a formed stool when we last shit.

I don't feel the need to keep secrets from anyone whatsoever.

Good for you, but why have you decided that anyone who does not share your approach is wrong or abnormal ? It is arrogance of the highest order and shows a lack of imagination as to why some people might want to do things a little differently from you. For someone who declares themself to be extremely open, you are very closed minded.

You're innocent silverbell if you think everyone feels the same as you.

Im not at all innocent. Im 55 years old. I just believe that women don't need to have shit relationships.

I don't have anything in my medical notes that I would keep secret from dh but I'd think it was rude of him if he read them without asking. I've read mine and the dc's notes a few times, I didn't realise it wasn't allowed .