To think my medical notes are confidential

[jessicathecat]

I was recently in hospital and dp picked up my medical notes and started casually leafing through them

He got all huffy when i asked him to stop! Was i being unreasonable?

Basic decency is you do not read each others medical notes, diaries or letters without permission. It does not matter if you have nothing to hide, it is basic respect.

What about people that care about each other being together and having no secrets? It's called trust in another and why people think that isn't respect is beyond me. I also have no idea why you would share your life with someone and withhold? Some very unhealthy things going on here.

Well aren't you the paradigm of the perfect relationship silverbell.
Some of us are not extensions of our partners.

Your relationship silverbell sounds unhealthy to me. Can you shit on your own?

Im not into perfect I'm into healthy relationships. If you can't trust a partner then you really need to re-evaluate. Unhealthy is not the norm.

Can i shit on my own? what on earth are you talking about? please clarify?

Trust and respect are necessary. But trust do not mean having no respect or boundaries. You are still two separate people.

I’m with you silverbell64. If you are committed partners in an equal relationship why the desire for secrets. Reeks of lack of trust and confidence in the relationship. Not sure why this notion upsets people. I understand they may have a different perspective but not why they’re unpleasant and hurl insults to validate their position.

If you mean when Ive had to go to hospital and my partner has taken me, then read my notes at the end of my bed, I think this is an abnormal occurrence and i should tell him not to unless he asks me first then i do think this is worrying. If however you're asking me if when Ive been very ill and would actually wipe my arse for me on the odd occasion then the answer is yes he has.

I do not want a partner knowing everything about my life. Some things are private and personal.

I would hate to merely be an amalgamation of my partner and myself. I am my own independent person. I don't need or want anyone knowing everything there is to know about my life. Even if it is my husband or partner. I am entitled to my own autonomy.

Amalgamation? what on earth is this? A relationship built on trust, companionship and love never means you loose your identity. How weird.

You can still be a person in your own right. How strange.

Reason? Case in point is my ex sharing all my medical information with everyone, looking for sympathy. Eh? No. I don't want Nora down the road or Rajeed up the road knowing what I'm going through? So no. I don't trust anyone (apart from doctors) with every detail about my life. As the likelihood is they are not going to share it on bloody FB!

At my trust they even weigh you when you go for an outpatients check up appointment. Every time. I don't see an issue with it. If you don't want to know how much you weigh, just don't look and ask them not to tell you.

Weird and strange? Nice one.

Seems to be some confusion between secrecy and privacy - they aren't the same thing. It is actually far more respectful to find out what your partner's privacy boundaries are (and there may be all sorts of reasons why people may not want to share every single detail of everything in their life) and make sure you do not make them feel uncomfortable, everyone is different.

I would consider that everyone has a right not to have their confidential notes read, their diaries read, their mail opened by another person etc. unless they have been asked for and given permission.

I find it amazing that people see something different from how they conduct themselves and declare it not normal. How incredibly rude - why do you assume your way is the only way.

And all those of you smugly congratulating yourselves on your openness and sharing of everything, can only assume your partners are keeping no secrets from you, you can never actually know.

Your ex was an arse then hiddley. Nothing to do with a ward having bed notes is it? I feel for you but please do not tar all with the same brush.

I have lived a life. I have not disclosed everything to anyone. (apart from doctors). I like to keep my life and some things private. I disclose information on a need to know basis. I couldn't control the stupid ICU staff disclosing everything to my ex and I'm still facing the repercussions. I am pretty much an open book and wear my heart on my sleeve but I will not leave myself so utterly vulnerable to exploitation by trusting anyone (bar someone with a confidentiality oath) to every single thing that goes on in my life or indeed every thought that I think.

The OP wanted to keep her weight private. Why shouldn't she be allowed to?

Absolutely right Kurri.

ICU staff are not stupid. You're ex was a nasty horrible person and he is the one with the sole blame here.

She doesn't owe her partner the right to know her weight. She's not necessarily in a dysfunctional relationship because she doesn't want to disclose that either.

Silverbell. Please don't patronise me with 'I feel for you'. You feel nothing of the sort.

The OP could have said she didn't want to be weighed under the circumstances, no one "made" her stand on the scales, so to blame the medical profession for this is wrong. This is standard procedure for many reasons.

Im not patronising you. You are picking fault with everything due to your circumstances.

Why should she risk her own medical treatment because she has a nosey DP. He shouldn't have read her notes. Simple. None of his business.