To think my medical notes are confidential

[jessicathecat]

I was recently in hospital and dp picked up my medical notes and started casually leafing through them

He got all huffy when i asked him to stop! Was i being unreasonable?

@scottishdiem if there is something relevant and important in your past medical history that emergency response personnel should know, then I strongly recommend that you get a MedicAlert bracelet. Your DP may be injured in the same crash, may not be able to get to his phone, may not pick up if he doesn't recognise a number - any one of several reasons means that he may not be able to talk to doctors in the immediate aftermath of a collapse or car accident.

(A few "relevant and important" examples : epilepsy, severe allergies or anaphylaxis, diabetes - not an exhaustive list before anyone asks).

@Floralnomad - we wouldn't necessarily go through your bag immediately (although the police may, to find ID - which may lead them to your card) - could you wear a MedicAlert necklace on a fabric strap and outside your clothing? Or get a plain pendant engraved and hang it from fabric?

You're absolutely right that, common things being common (and steroid insufficiency isn't as common as, for example, low blood sugar), Addison's isn't the first thing that would spring to mind.

Maybe I'm an odd dysfunctional human being but my partner will never know everything there is to know about me. My ex possibly vaguely remembers that I'm allergic to penicillin but he was never the brightest tool in the box so I wouldn't count on it. I have signed the disclaimer to have my medical information shared. That said, I've had surgeons not know that I had a previous blood clot as they hadn't read the notes I gave every other doctor (approx. 6) prior to them. I retain my right to privacy though. That's why nurses/doctors ask whether you're comfortable having your OH in during their consultation. They realise your need and right to privacy.

No , I doubt they would search my bag that's if I even have it with me which I don't always . I really can't get on with any jewellery and even fabric watch straps have caused a problem ,I have not been able to wear my my wedding ring for about the last 15 yrs . The only time I'm really out alone is when I'm with the dog and he's got a tag with details on so it would be pretty easy to call home where someone could tell them . My family/ friends etc all know the score and my family are really on the ball as my mum has had Addison's for 51 years . Anyhow that's off the subject and if the OP doesn't want him to read them then that's that , although if my dh suggested gyms and diets because he thought I was too heavy it would him being the abused party

Medical notes are never out surely you mean current visits hospital notes which included there to right obs etc

Normality is a trusting healthy relationship with a partner.
Women should aim higher.
If you cannot trust your partner and want to keep secrets from them then you should really have a long hard look at this and wonder why you are with them. They should be like your best friend and a bit more. How people live their lives with anything less is a travesty and very sad indeed.
Wow.
So if your partner doesn't know your whole life history tour relationship is shit
Actually agree with kurrie this comment is just offensive.
I wouldn't open my dh mail either and he won't go through my bag,even if i ask him get my purse.
You can have a great relationship and still expect privacy.
My dh knows my medical conditions, he's never looked at my notes. He's never looked at any of my discharge notes either unless i've given them to him.
I wouldnt look at his, he's entitled to privacy.

Surely it's a case of basic respect just to ask?

Why would you assume the OP is lying about being in hospital Silverbell? That's a huge jump to make.

I trust my partner absolutely. That doesn't mean I want him opening my letters, reading my medical notes or going through my diaries or stuff i've written.

Normality is a trusting healthy relationship with a partner

And this precludes all forms of privacy?

Why is it so difficult to understand that privacy and secrecy are not the same?

Normal is a healthy relationship where you share things as best friends do.

I most certainly wouldn't have my best friend rifling through my medical notes and opening my post uninvited!

In relationships, there is no 'normal'. If it works for you, and for nobody else in the world, then it's still fine.

Trust and autonomy are not mutually exclusive.

This "no secrets" thing really is bullshit. Along with the "two become one" stuff. The people who say they can't possibly keep another person's confidence from their partner because it would be damaging to their relationship. Well, it must be a pretty feeble relationship if it can't cope with people being autonomous human beings.....

Medical notes are confidential and are supposed to be kept in locked trolleys.

I've never seen this (and between us MrsLH and I have racked up 20 hospital visits this year).

It was thanks to me picking up my notes many years ago that I solved the mystery of the missing appointment letters (which cost me a years delay in diagnosing my glaucoma ). For some reason noone has ever explained, there was a sheet of sticky labels in my file which they had been sticking on the envelopes to send out my appointments.

Problem was it was our old address, so I never got the appointment, and kept on being removed from the list.

People should read their medical records - you'd be amazed how much is wrong.

People should read their medical records - you'd be amazed how much is wrong.

Well yes, their own medical records. The issue here though is about reading somebody else's medical notes or records.

Yes they are confidential.

I wouldn't have cared though. It's your husband FFS!

Well, it must be a pretty feeble relationship if it can't cope with people being autonomous human beings.....

I don't know why either has to be a feeble or strange or weird relationship. DP and I don't have many secrets from each other, though I daresay there are some things we keep back. We're both very open people and match well in this respect. We're still autonomous beings, woth minds of our own. Other couples do things differently, and are more private about personal things. That works for them and it doesn't mean they're not close or loving. Why this constant need to disparage other people's choices?

I think people should run their relationships the way they want to. But the insistence that total openness in all things is the only way a relationship can survive is just daft. If relationship could not survive one of the partners wanting to maintain privacy about something that suggests to me that it must be a pretty feeble relationship.

Has anyone said that their own relationship couldn't survive if one of them wanted privacy? Or have people actually said they wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that kind of privacy?

Or in fact are you saying that it's a shit relationship if one person doesn't trust and share with the other?

Basically it just feels like you're denigrating people's choice to share everything because you feel the choice not to is being attacked. I just don't think it's necessary to do that.

It's not about trust though. It's about retaining a little piece of yourself. Not having to share every tiny piece of your life.

E.g. How was your day?
Me: Great! Went shopping.

DP: Cool, buy anything nice?
Me: No, just the usual
DP: Ok, what's for dinner?

Dysfunctional relationship?

Hey, how was your day?
ME: Went shopping.
DP: What did you buy?
Me: I bought tissues and toilet roll and tinfoil and cushion covers and sanitary towels and a pregnancy test.
DP: Ok, what's for dinner? What did you buy for dinner?
Me: Oh I forgot I bought a chicken. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I bought a chicken.
DP: Why are you hiding things from me? Don't you trust me enough?

Then you have:

What did you do today?
Me: Nothing much.

Dysfunctional relationship
What did you do today?
Me: Nothing.
DP: Nothing? I tracked your oyster card and you went to the GP. Everything is open in our relationship right? So why did you go to your GP?
Me: To get advice how the fuck to get away from you, you controlling cunt.

I thought this thread was supposed to be about is it OK to just pick up and read partners medical notes that are supposed to be confidential without asking.

Perhaps you haven't seen that it has evolved into a discussion about the relative merits of partners having a right to privacy then? Plus silverbell made it into a discussion about us all having dysfunctional relationships if there wasn't absolute disclosure (what silverbell called trust).
Maybe read back again?

I haven't read all the comments but wanted to add that a medical professional should not look at anyone's notes unless directly involved on their care, including for example, a GP should not read notes of a past patient.

I found all this out when I had cancer. Prior to getting the results (biopsies to see if malignent, happy end, was benign!!) the GP practice nurse asked if I had the results yet. I said I wasn't bothered because my relative would let me know as they always checked my results when they were due and let me know.

The GP practice nurse told my GP who immediately checked my notes for 5 years period and found they had accessed my notes over 40 times.

The investigation found they had read notes for cousins, parents, friends, and colleagues etc. They were sacked for breaking very strict confidentiality regulations.

Think my wording was wrong on my previous post. I had a very large rapidly growing tumour, it was a benign cancerous growth - would that still be called a cancer? You can tell her not medically trained huh?

It wasn't cancerous Suki.