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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my medical notes are confidential

251 replies

jessicathecat · 24/10/2017 18:09

I was recently in hospital and dp picked up my medical notes and started casually leafing through them Hmm

He got all huffy when i asked him to stop! Was i being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Candlelight234 · 24/10/2017 18:10

Yanbu! He should have asked you then you give him permission (or not).

Ginmakesitallok · 24/10/2017 18:11

Nope - ywnbu. Nursing staff should have stopped him. In theory if you want to even read your own notes you have to put in a subject access requsdtm

Floralnomad · 24/10/2017 18:14

YWNBU , however if my dh was in hospital and the notes were there I'd read them , and he can read mine if he wants , we have no secrets .

DeadDeadDeadRose · 24/10/2017 18:15

If you don't want him to read them, YANBU to ask him to stop. I have no boundaries so I can't imagine caring through!

00100001 · 24/10/2017 18:15

Really? You don't trust your husband with your medical notes? :/
It's not like it's your secret diary

jessicathecat · 24/10/2017 18:20

I really don't!

OP posts:
MsJamesDeanBradfield · 24/10/2017 18:22

Floralnomad

Having secrets is not the point. Medical notes are confidential and you have to gain permission before even reading your own.

retirednow · 24/10/2017 18:26

Medical notes are confidential and are supposed to be kept in locked trolleys. They are the property of the hospital and patient. If relative wants to read them they cannot just pick them up. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate to ask if you could both talk to your doctors. There is an access to medical notes policy for all hospitals, gp, dentists etc. The staff can also get disciplined for leaving notes around.

00100001 · 24/10/2017 18:28

You don't trust your husband?

BertrandRussell · 24/10/2017 18:28

I am always puzzled by the "we have no secrets" couples. I don't want any non HCP reading my medical notes!

jessicathecat · 24/10/2017 18:29

There are certain things I'd rather he did not know!

OP posts:
DeadDeadDeadRose · 24/10/2017 18:29

Was it your maternity notes? Because you carry those around with you to appointments, they're never locked up.

MissClareRemembers · 24/10/2017 18:39

YANBU

DH came with me to one of my early midwife appointments, he spent the whole time squinting at the computer screen trying to read the info displayed. Obviously it was stuff about me and relating to previous doctors appointments. Really pissed me off and felt very intrusive.

Seeingadistance · 24/10/2017 18:40

It doesn't matter whether some of you are happy for your DHs to read your medical notes. They are confidential and shouldn't be available for others to read.

Floralnomad · 24/10/2017 18:41

That's the point though , he's not medically trained so much of it would go over his head and he would be asking me ( retired nurse) what things meant . Personally I'd rather dh read my notes than some random nurse / csw on a ward knowing all my business and nobody stops them reading them . There is nothing about my health that is secret from my husband , as when I'm ill , which I have been recently , I need him to be on the ball about my issues in case I am incapacitated .

InsomniacAnonymous · 24/10/2017 18:42

I wouldn't read my own notes, let alone be happy with anyone else reading them.

Floralnomad · 24/10/2017 18:42

Having said that I did originally say that the OP was not being unreasonable

PoppyPopcorn · 24/10/2017 18:43

Not much of a partnership you're in, is it?

sunandmoonshine · 24/10/2017 18:43

YANBU. Nosey bastard. I would have been livid.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/10/2017 18:45

What don't you want him to know?

HicDraconis · 24/10/2017 18:45

There are many many reasons why someone may not want their DP reading their hospital notes. We document previous medical history thoroughly, which may include things they don’t want their DP to know about (the most obvious being previous abortions and mental health admissions).

But it doesn’t matter if it’s a one page clerking of PMHx - nil, DHx - nil, Allergies - nil or a 5 page essay of ICU admissions - it is confidential to the patient and your DP had no right at all to pick it up and read it. Patients can request their notes but it usually has to be done in the presence of someone who can explain any medical terminology.

I would have taken the folder from him if I had been there and told him they were your confidential medical notes and he wasn’t permitted to read them. More or less politely depending on his reaction. I’d also have mentally flagged you (quietly) for a chat later to make sure there was nothing else untoward, like domestic abuse.

TattyCat · 24/10/2017 18:48

Blimey. Astounded at the reactions here, tbh. When my DDad was dying in hospital, his file was at the end of his bed - the last time I saw him I spent time reading it whilst he talked to DP. I didn't trust the hospital I'm afraid (for very good reason; another story and justified). I just wish I hadn't bothered wasting time reading that - he died a few hours later anyway.

But the point is, he didn't mind or probably even notice and I read it for very good reason (IMO). It certainly wasn't his life long medical record - just his recent.

silverbell64 · 24/10/2017 18:49

The medical notes he started to read were surely just the ones at the bottom of your bed? If so they wouldn't contain your whole medical history so Im not sure what you're upset about unless you have actually lied to him about why you're in hospital?

MrLovebucket · 24/10/2017 18:49

I always rifled through my notes and those of my children (when they were young). We spent a lot of time in Fracture Clinic and X ray dept when they were younger (lots of contact sports) and you trundle round with your notes from one department to the next.

I wouldn't have been presumptuous enough to read anyone else's though.

jessicathecat · 24/10/2017 18:50

The fact he didn't notice didn't make it ok.

OP posts: