To think my medical notes are confidential

[jessicathecat]

I was recently in hospital and dp picked up my medical notes and started casually leafing through them

He got all huffy when i asked him to stop! Was i being unreasonable?

Bed notes are different to your medical notes.

He isn't abusive but very nosy.

Thats exactly what I'm thinking DuckOff. Bed notes are just that, so not sure why the OP is saying these should be confidential?

@Hicdraconis

There are many many reasons why someone may not want their DP reading their hospital notes. We document previous medical history thoroughly, which may include things they don’t want their DP to know about (the most obvious being previous abortions and mental health admissions).

But it doesn’t matter if it’s a one page clerking of PMHx - nil, DHx - nil, Allergies - nil or a 5 page essay of ICU admissions - it is confidential to the patient and your DP had no right at all to pick it up and read it. Patients can request their notes but it usually has to be done in the presence of someone who can explain any medical terminology.

I would have taken the folder from him if I had been there and told him they were your confidential medical notes and he wasn’t permitted to read them. More or less politely depending on his reaction. I’d also have mentally flagged you (quietly) for a chat later to make sure there was nothing else untoward, like domestic abuse.

All of this.

It's got sod-all to do with 'trust' or not being a close couple, and it really fucks me off that people make it about this.

Some people prefer some things to remain private and confidential, and YES - even from their partner or spouse. I don't know why some people have to tell their partner every last bloody thing about themselves, from their personal and intimate medical details, to the size of the boil on their anus.

It's absolute shite to say you're not a close couple if your don't share everything. There are several personal things my husband doesn't know about me, and never will. And there doesn't have to be 'issues in your marriage,' or domestic abuse going on for someone to want to keep certain things private.

Keeping certain things to myself, doesn't mean me and my husband are not close, and the judgy posters suggesting this can bore off.

We are a married couple, but we are also individual people with individual personalities.

And the ones who are saying 'me and MY man tell each other everything;' dream on, no WAY does he tell you everything; NO. WAY.

If my DP was in hospital then of course I'd have a look at them.

sun

Blimey

If the poster doesn't disclose that she's in such a relationship then how would anyone know?

No one should have to disclose that they're in an abusive relationship to ensure that their confidential medical records are kept confidential! No one should be able to pick them up and have a nosy.

And ... the very nature of abusive relationships can make it very difficult, for all sorts of reasons, for the abused person to make that disclosure. Not least because their abuser might be standing right there leafing through their file !

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone?! YWBU.

It's really strange to me that you wouldn't want him to look, in a trusting, stable relationship you shouldn't mind sharing personal things such as that. If he was with you in hospital he was clearly there to support you.

Everyone's different but I find that a bit strange.

Medical notes should not be left around, nursing notes like pulse and blood pressures, drug charts and care plans are sometimes hanging on the end of the bed but in some hospitals these are also locked away. I would find it really disrespectful if any visitor, family or friend, thought it was OK to pick them up and read them. I wouldn't do it and would ask why someone would.

It wouldn't bother me at all. I also find it very strange.

Was it your weight?

As much as I love and trust DH, I was at my fattest ever when I got pregnant - and I sorely wanted him to look away when I stood on the scales at my checking in appointment.

I also feel like I'm in the twilight zone but for the opposite reason!

Why can so many of you not understand that confidential medical information is just that? Confidential!

Yes!

He woild be saying I had gained weight, suggesting diets, trying to make me go to the gym. He thimks I am eight and a half stone and I am not!

You're not unreasonable to not want anyone even your husband reading your medical notes.
What if it has information you haven't talked about with him, or even the medical terminology can be confusing.
Brittbugs -sorry you saw that. Was it written "spontaneous abortion" as in the medical field that is the correct name for a miscarriage. I know it sounds awful but it may have been the case.

He sounds intrusive, so you feel you have to protect yourself from him

Your DP shouldn't of touched them. End of.

To me, confidential doesn't include my DH.

Like I say, everyone's different.

Misery

We really don't need to have MN do we? You should just get there first and type 'end of' and we can all go back to doing something more useful instead

Are you positive you aren't in an abusive relationship? Your weight is no-ones business but your own.

People saying 'oooooh it's STRANGE to not want your partner to nose through your PRIVATE medical notes, guess what.... I think it's STRANGE that you are OK with it!!!!!!!!

It's all so STRANGE is it not?

So many STRANGE things on this thread eh???

FFS!

I personally wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that I'd need to hide such things from but each to their own.

Notes at the end of the bed are just that and it's fine by me.

So a person ranging from a doctor to a meal provider would have to unlock the persons notes every time they needed to attend to a patient? How would that work then? What if there was an emergency etc. etc. people in hospital need to be right?

Bizarre.

Does it not occur to any of those who are happy for confidential records to be freely available that there are, for example, women in abusive relationships who have very good reasons why their "D"H should not have access to their confidential records?

If I was in an abusive relationship I think I would not be writing 'd' p , it would be just p .

sun

Blimey

I've said twice that everyone's different. No need to jump down people's throats Sun. OP asked people's opinions, that's what we're giving.

YANBU. I'm surprised the nurses let him.

I would never just look at DH's medical records. I wouldn't expect him to look at mine either, even though there's probably nothing he doesn't know about in there.