To ask parents to turn down volume.

[Borntobeamum]

Sat in a nice restaurant in a hotel.
DH and I are celebrating and sat at the next table is a Mum and dad and their son- aged about 4. He’s watching you tube videos. With the sound on full.
Restaurant is full so can’t move tables.
The parents are both on their phones too.
There’s no interaction. Just tinny noises as they click on various pages.
WIBU to ask them to start up a conversation with their little boy. I could give them some ideas if they’re stuck!

NannyOgg the comment above that was about something I said on this thread and referred to something I had said on another thread. In fact it was about specific toys ( not ipad - his learning difficulties are too severe to use one of them) that he uses.

If a person thinks that 12 year old using a toy aimed at toddlers to calm himself is someone being rude, that says more about them.
No one has ever told us to turn them down because they are not loud and because most people when they have been around my son understand.

All depends, if you're in a family restaurant (like a harvester/hungry horse) I don't think I'd complain. If you're in a proper restaurant, Jesus I'd be pissed x

I am saying that by choosing to make anti-social noise in a social environment that people are making enormous assumptions about people around them being ok with it or being unaffected by it.

Just as you might not want to talk to a stranger about the disability of your child, I don’t want to have to bring up my hearing issues to a total stranger when their crap behaviour is ruining my evening.

So people who are doing this are relying on others to keep silent because they don’t want to have an embarrassing conversation. I bet this bothers more people than you think it does.

But it is obviously totally fucking fine for the partially deaf to be isolated in social situations by some body else’s selfishness.

And I won’t be the only one who feels this way. I would think that every time someone chooses to indulge in this totally selfish behaviour they ruin someone else’s evening.

Nannyoggs - this is exactly how I feel about this.

Unless your were going to to be the only other person at that restaurant zzzz then your point is moot.

That is exactly the point I am trying to make. When you are in a public place you should have some consideration for others. You don’t know everyone’s situation or needs.

It’s about both being a self centred twat.

It's rude Op if they must all be on their gadgets to dine, they could at least have them on silent or headphones

I think you are a bit muddled. I am saying that in a public situation you can’t tell how many people will be angered/distressed/annoyed/upset by blaring tech noise. I am asking you to have some consideration for your fellow diners.

Personally, I avoid loud places because I know I will have a miserable time and be unable to hold a conversation. I would be pretty ticked off to go to a quiet restaurant to find that I had the some issue because some was being inconsiderate- what ever form that might take.

It is really rather easy:

Loud place- ok to be loud.

Quiet place- have some fucking consideration for other people. There will be more than one person there upset or inconvenienced by the inconsiderate behaviour. They will be too polite to says so.

What NannyOgg said and I say that as the parent of two children with additional needs.

What kind of nation are we raising?
I sat watching my dc at an activity yesterday - wondering what the awful noiae was behind me. Turned to see a father playing games on his phone, attempted to give him the death stare, but he didnt once look up so i couldn't.
Sadly i didnt see him glance once at his child doing her sport either, no smiles of encouragement or thumbs up......the only interaction between the two was when she came to get a drink halfway through.
The noise was horrible....ding, ding, ding...from a man in his thirties

zzzz Then why are you arguing this so hard? This isn’t about you specifically . It is a more general ‘you’- as in the people who think it is ok to blare noise in public places and are inconsiderate twats.

NannyOgg someone with severe learning difficulties is in a cafe. Do you
a) they should be able to use something quiet in order to cope.
b) they shouldn't be able to use something to cope which means they will make loud noises, hit themselves, bang on things, spit etc and perhaps eventually get distressed.
c) they shouldn't be there?

Zzzzzz....i wasnt infuriated, irritated yes. I chose not to ask him to turn it down in case he responded as some pp report - with am 'f off and mind your own business'.
Oh and i'm raising 4 kids with sen, 2 with complex sen - without using noisy screens in public

Good try spikey

I am not suggesting any of those things. You know the choice isn’t noisy screens or don’t go out. As someone pointed out to you earlier.

Public spaces are shared spaces. Everyone should use them as long as they can be considerate of each other. I would have no problem with a child with additional needs making noises or occasionally shouting. It is their space too.

But I do have a problem with inconsiderate behaviours, by people of all ilks, that make public spaces unusable for all.

Loud, blaring, continuous noise is anti-social. Don’t do it in a social space. The same goes for screaming babies, shouting drunk people, people playing music on their phones, the bloody midnight ice cream vans and Peppa Pig with the volume right up.

I get it NannyOgg

You would have loved it in the cafe this morning. We had b) with some added extras.

Spikeyball Yes, I do understand. I am disabled, and am not getting into disability top trumps with you (another game you love to play). Using tech devices with the volume on in a restaurant is not okay, and it is NOT a choice between doing that or never leaving the house. Stop saying it is.

Having a disability yourself doesn't mean you understand. You don't have my child's disability.

Well this thread has made me determined that others will not dictate where my son does and doesn't go and those who don't like what he does will have to lump it.

And you say you're not rude or inconsiderate.