To ask parents to turn down volume.

[Borntobeamum]

Sat in a nice restaurant in a hotel.
DH and I are celebrating and sat at the next table is a Mum and dad and their son- aged about 4. He’s watching you tube videos. With the sound on full.
Restaurant is full so can’t move tables.
The parents are both on their phones too.
There’s no interaction. Just tinny noises as they click on various pages.
WIBU to ask them to start up a conversation with their little boy. I could give them some ideas if they’re stuck!

Corbyn I think the problem is the other way around. Children with any behaviour not deemed acceptable are assumed to have bad parents rather than a need. I don't think it is any bad thing for people to at least momentarily consider that the person they are looking at might just be walking a different path to them.

What percentage of children have needs severe enough that eating out is problematic? It's a very small percentage. When you go into a restaurant and 90% of the kids are absorbed in a device it's a safe bet that the vast majority don't have additional needs.

I have a close friend with children with sen that are calmed by iPads etc. She doesn’t allow blaring iPads in restaurants. Disturbing other people isn’t an option. She travels the world with them so leaving the horse is an option!

Yanbu re the noise. Yabu re the suggestion they start a conversation. Pressumably he is an only child and therefore the parents
Are his constant conversation companions which is v tiring where there are no siblings to break it up. Parenting an only can be a very difficult and claustrophobic experience. It's probably the first break the parents have had all day

Corbyn I don't disagree that the vast majority won't have a SN or disability. My point is that you can't tell which is which.

I also find the posts about not taking kids out to eat incredibly sad. We've travelled extensively with our DS. Every other country we have been to we've seen kids out late at night in bars and resteraunts talking, colouring, watching iPads (often all 3 in the course of an evening). Yes be considerate of everyone around you. I have real issues with noisey eaters. I get inexplicably angry but recognise I'm in a public place and can't control everyone round me. Yes the kid should wear headphones. But has as much right to be there as everyone else in the place.

No you can't tell tell specifically who has additional needs but I think it's unfair that it's kids with sen who we are being told need to disturb people with iPads when the vast majority of offenders don't even have additional needs!

Corbyn I don't think anyone is using SN children as some sort of scapegoat. Simply pointing out to those who only see unruley children in such a senario, that some might have a genuine reason for what they are doing.

ArcheryAnnie the choices are my son has his barely audible babies toy ( not an ipad not noisy or blaring as I have repeatedly pointed out) or he attempts to self regulate in his own very noisy and disruptive but in keeping with his profound disability, way. Despite banging on about choices, there aren't other choices.
Using quiet toys is to try to moderate and to try to prevent the extremes of his behaviour ( which really aren't pretty) for the benefit of others.

People can have one choice or the other. We won't be leaving.

I still fail to see the point in all this (special needs aside) why take children somewhere where there is nothing for them?

A screaming baby or a bored, fractious toddler that had to be distracted by cartoons is not having a good time. I remember being taken to adult type occasions and being bored out of my mind. Get a baby sitter. We do. I’m talking about proper, naice restaurants- not twenty minutes in ikea cafe which even my little force of nature can deal with.

Also, what age do you stop allowing them to play with technology at the table? Five, ten, eighteen?

The SN argument is a complete red herring. We can’t have a free for all on bad public behaviour in case the person has a disability. That’s crazy not to mention insulting to people with disabilities.

I have a friend who chain smokes basically, he has severe anxiety and depression and smoking is his crutch. Bet few of you would tolerate that even outside where it does no harm.

Nope, I love parenting but I also love a night off.

My one year old will not tolerate being strapped into a chair for two hours. He would scream and try to escape. He’s one. That’s what he does. You might have a one year old boy who would tolerate that but I’ve never met one!

You think I’d dislike a child who can sit in a naice restaurant for two hours? Why? I’d love one! Never met one though.

Do you honestly have toddlers that can sit for that long, not scream or shout, talk and eat nicely without dropping food on the floor and not require electronic devices to distract them? Really? Find that hard to believe.

I’ve seen plenty of toddlers in restaurants screaming, dropping food and running about though. That or staring at an iPad. They can watch cartoons at home.

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago, family with a kid around 2 sit down and put bloody peppa pig on for their son I was fucked off as had my peppa pig obsessed 2 year old sat at the table.
I didn’t say anything just shot daggers and made a couple of pass agg comments out loud.

It’s sad when you can’t sit and eat a meal with your child you have to entertain them with your phone.

A bit later their kid had a full on crying fit and had to be taken outside, so it didn’t work. If your kid can’t behave in a restaurant stay at home.

What percentage of children have needs severe enough that eating out is problematic? It's a very small percentage. When you go into a restaurant and 90% of the kids are absorbed in a device it's a safe bet that the vast majority don't have additional needs

Quite. And it's also a safe bet that the vast majority are capable of using headphones and if not, could do something else like read a book or do colouring or some other entertaining, but quiet, activity.

Does this imply that the vast majority of parents think that screens are fine in a restaurant?

It's irrelevant what it implies, zzzzz, because parents are not the only people in a restaurant.

ZZZZ, you’re children don’t run about, shout or play with their food at home? At age one or two???

What did they do? They must have moved and made some noise.

Now who’s the Victorian ha ha