To ask parents to turn down volume.

[Borntobeamum]

Sat in a nice restaurant in a hotel.
DH and I are celebrating and sat at the next table is a Mum and dad and their son- aged about 4. He’s watching you tube videos. With the sound on full.
Restaurant is full so can’t move tables.
The parents are both on their phones too.
There’s no interaction. Just tinny noises as they click on various pages.
WIBU to ask them to start up a conversation with their little boy. I could give them some ideas if they’re stuck!

It makes sense because it is the kind thing to do. Just as my son leaving disability sessions because a profoundly disabled child was screaming was a kind thing to do.

Yanbu. I bought the dc headphones so they wouldn’t upset other passengers on the place. Now it’s bliss when they use their iPads!

I think if someone approached me about my son's noise ( of whatever sort) and said they found it distressing because of disability I would do my best to accommodate that. That probably mean being as quick as we could or maybe going to sit outside. I wouldn't just think sod you.
What I think is wrong is the assumption that people with these sort of needs should never be accommodated and I think in some a denial of the existence of such people.

What would you have happen then?

Surely children/people with disabilities, whether hidden or otherwise are in the minority of these cases. Not once in all the times I've asked people to wear headphones have I been told they have a disability/sn. Surely we are talking about the ones without disabilities or special needs doing it- they're the wronguns!

I think lethal makes a good point here. Threads like this always jump to assumptions of SN and a bun fight.

Some parents are just rude and entitled. No one has the right to disturb a restaurant full of diners. I have seen loud tables asked to tone it down and I too have been asked to be quieter. Just because I sometimes can’t tell when i’m shouting because of my hearing loss doesn’t mean I should get to disturb others.

I can ask for reasonable adjustments in my work place and understanding/support from my family and friends. But the world in general owes me nothing. If we were a little less presumptive and a bit more aware of those around us then maybe people would be happier to accommodate each other. But this ‘fuck you. It’s my right to do whatever I like’ attitude is pretty unhelpful to everyone.

Spikeyball If somebody only takes their child out for one hour a week and spends that hour in a restaurant with an iPad on and no headphones then yeah, they really are the inconsiderate ones. As with everything there is choice, and although you always try on these threads to present the choice as "My son playing a Vtech out loud in an enclosed space like a restaurant or him never ever leaving the house" that is clearly bullshit.

Some parents are just rude and entitled. No one has the right to disturb a restaurant full of diners Sums it up really. It's not a reasonable adjustment.

DailyMail you really don't have an understanding of the lives of families with disabled children do you?
It is an hour in total around the general public not an hour out with your child.
You spend most of your time at places where there are no other people about because you child can't cope with it.

Agree with lethal. Find the what about sn no platforming a bit tiring on my

Spikey I don't think daily mail meant you - we are talking about the non disabled here

Lethal, DailyMail did mean me. They just have no clue.

Er because i would imagine you would say something along the lines of ' I'm sorry but my child has special needs.' And I would quite rightly back off! Also I always ask really politely - not an 'irritated stranger' - The only come back I have ever had was 'but he's only 3'!

spikey if you are going to address anyone then it should be me. I made the comment that daily quoted.

You need to stop seeing this as a personal attack. This isn’t about SN children and parents. This rude behaviour isn’t limited to just children with SN. In fact, I am uncomfortable assigning this kind of behaviour to SN parents. What a shitty assumption.
Look. The fact is that it is rude behaviour. Everyone knows it is rude and spoils things for others. If that is genuinely the only way you can manage a restaurant trip with your child then crack on. But don’t expect people to be accepting or happy about it. You are making a choice and you know it is the rude choice. You know it will negatively effect people around you. Perhaps try to be less defensive about it if people ask you to turn the volume down.

zzz All ofthise things are rude and intrusive. And people should, quite rightly, be politely asked to stop/keep it down.

Here’s the thing:

noisy pub- not a problem if people are doing noisy things.

Quiet (ish) restaurant- absolutely not ok to be on your phone/device, running in between tables, shouting etc.

Surely this is common bloody sense.

Let’s make it clear- irritating is one thing. But making lots of anti-social noise in a social setting is stopping others from taking part in the meal.

There are a substantial number of people with varying degrees of hearing loss, especially over the age of 60. It is very much more than irritating to go out for a nice meal with family or friends and find that you can’t take part in the conversation at all because some selfish fucker is being a dick. True story.