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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I know IBU to spend £1k but I'm depressed. Is it a justifiable IBU? Or unjustifiable?

146 replies

DownbutnotfullyOut · 23/10/2017 22:32

I'm thinking of spending £1k (slightly over that in fact) for a full set of new 300 thread count Yves Delorme bedding. It looks amazing and in my head will make my bedroom look like an interior designer has landed.

I'm feeling really depressed about all kinds of life shit issues at the moment.

I can afford it but not without thinking about it. I suppose what I'm saying is it won't put me in debt but it is a big spend for me and one I need to justify.

I feel like I have no happiness and some expensive luxiourous bedding might be a symbol of a fresh start and a clean out.

AIBU? Is it worth it? Or should I just by cheaper stuff? Or forget it all together?

OP posts:

CredulousThickos · 23/10/2017 23:18

This is how my depression manifests. Unfortunately it’s also how my hypomania does as well, so it’s a rare month I stay in budget.

While nice shiny things do help, it’s fleeting, and there’s a lot to be said for living well and looking after yourself without spending a fortune. Yawn, I know, but I now get a thrill from not spending and while I’m not cured or anything, it’s a lot healthier.

I have a rule now about impulse buying. As in I don’t. I sit on the idea for a week and if I still want it then I’ll probably get it.

My good buys over the past year have been a nice handbag, an iPad and some really decent boots. I’ve also considered loads and loads of stuff like designer washing baskets, a leather jacket, a bag for carrying my chihuahua, ££ bedding, a massive picture for the front room etc etc. And after a few days the urge to buy it has gone and I’ve wondered why I wanted it so badly.

So see how you feel next Monday and buy it then if you still really want it, is my advice.

TattyCat · 23/10/2017 23:18

A third of your life spent in bed and people are suggesting it's a waste of money and you'd be better getting your hair and nails done????

I DON'T THINK SO!!! Go for it - you deserve it and if it's what you want, you won't regret it. It's for YOU; nobody else is entitled to an opinion unless they are invited to enjoy it with you. Right?

Better than any amount of talking!

LemonysSnicket · 23/10/2017 23:18

We have some amazing white company ones which were Around £200 ..... soooooo soft.

haba · 23/10/2017 23:18

welshmaenad is that brushed cotton bedding from Aldi recently? I want some, can you tell me what colour?

CredulousThickos · 23/10/2017 23:20

Oh and I decided against the £££ bedding (also 300 thread count) based on the ironing, I bought lovely hotel grade stuff from an outlet for less than £100 and it is wonderful.

Dustbunny1900 · 23/10/2017 23:20

Hell No. Unless you're very affluent and a thousand is merely a frippery to you.
It won't make you feel better for long. It's just a distraction, something to momentarily give you a boost..a week later you'll wake up a grand poorer and still be miserable and if you're anything like me, incredibly anxious and guilt ridden about spending a fortune on a bed sheet

I wouldn't make such a huge purchase when under the influence of a wicked depression. Treat yourself by all means, but do it at a less dear price, and concentrate more on fixing the root problem.

Apileofballyhoo · 23/10/2017 23:20

If I had that to spare on making myself feel better and I didn't think I would benefit from counselling, I would find an Alexander Technique practitioner and go 2 or 3 times a week for a few weeks. I've only been once and it's a fantastic feeling. I felt like I was walking on air.

fizzthecat1 · 23/10/2017 23:22

OP £1k sheets are not going to help even a tiny bit with your depression i'm afraid

www.fastcompany.com/3043858/the-science-of-why-you-should-spend-your-money-on-experiences-not-thing

BlueSapp · 23/10/2017 23:22

Are you feckin nuts! Jesus wept my DH would faint if I spent that on sheets holy crap not worth that never never never!!!!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 23/10/2017 23:23

If you have £1k spare you would be better off spending it on finding a good therapist you click with who can help you get better.

You have the money to shop around, so you don't just need to stick with one you don't gel with.

Spending this money on bedding is such a waste when it could be spent on getting you better, which is far more important.

Buglife · 23/10/2017 23:23

I'm not denying that really good bedlinen is lonely and amazing. A great mattress is also worth shelling out for. But god you can get higher thread count stuff than 300 for £1000! I have 800 thread count pillow cases and 400 thread count sheets and a 600 count duvet cover for much less than that. High thread count sheets etc are always very plain anyway so it doesn't matter what brand they are. Shop around on the internet and on eBay, go to local factory stores where they have brand concession stores. I don't think it's wrong to spend money on the nicer things for your own happiness and comfort, but you could do this particular thing for less.

IslandNiles · 23/10/2017 23:29

Mine was like £7 in Asda and it's nice!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 23/10/2017 23:29

Better than any amount of talking!

What a ridiculous thing to say.

I suffered with a severe mental health condition for years. I had intensive therapy on the NHS and in a matter of months went from unable to function to completely better and as though I'd never been ill at all.

It's not "just talking" (showing your ignorance there); it can change your life. It is much better to get well and not be depressed at all than to buy some nice bedding that might make you feel better for a small time.

Depression doesn't have to be a life long condition. People can and do get better from it; it is worth spending the money to find someone who can help you do that.

Mental wellbeing is far more important and invaluable than some bedding, and the OP has the money to shop around to find someone who can help her.

That's an incredibly lucky situation to be in; not a lot of people have that option.

Chickoletta · 23/10/2017 23:40

No way.

CatastropheKate · 23/10/2017 23:41

I would spend the £1000 on two cheaper sets and a weekly laundry service and have fresh crisp sheets done for you.

TattyCat · 23/10/2017 23:44

Better than any amount of talking!

What a ridiculous thing to say.

No, it's not. Op didn't say she has depression - she said she feels depressed about all kinds of shit in her life. We all feel pissed off at times but that absolutely doesn't mean she needs £XXXX amount of counselling to overcome it!! It could well be something as simple as needing something to make herself feel special in what is currently a shit situation, so don't make it up as you go along!!

Actually, just 'talking' can sometimes exacerbate a problem and not solve it. Too many armchair psychologists (and faux counsellors) out there who think that talking is the answer to every problem. But sometimes, it's not. I paid a fortune a long time ago to someone who made me feel terrible, and that was after much research and choosing someone qualified and 'experienced'. He was an idiot. It can be more damaging to focus on what is general dissatisfaction and in many cases, a change of circumstances is what's needed, not talking.

DancingOnParsnips · 23/10/2017 23:44

I wouldn't do it OP but I get where you are coming from

Seeingadistance · 23/10/2017 23:48

I didn't actually know that it was possible to spend £1k on bed linen, but that said, the OP has said that she can afford it, and that it would be symbolic of a fresh start and clear out. Gorgeous bed linen isn't just about what it looks like - it's how it feels, and at that price I'd expect it to last for years, and feel amazing!

ShellyBoobs · 23/10/2017 23:57

I quite like the linen from Soak&Sleep. Pretty good prices, too.

Well, until you find the £5,350 duvet.

www.soakandsleep.com/bedroom/duvets/king?product_list_order=price_desc

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 24/10/2017 00:05

TattyCat I was going off the assumption and implication that the OP has depression. If she doesn't, fair enough.

Therapy isn't "just talking". Mine was exceptionally active and we did lots of experiments.

The OP has £1k to play with; that means she is able to shop around and find someone to gel with. If someone she has researched and seems good actually isn't, she has the option to go elsewhere. A lot of people don't.

But again, if she isn't actually depressed, there's no point in pursuing that (therein lies the problem of people saying they're depressed when they're actually not).

Although, a major indicator of depression is blowing money on things you don't need; I'd say £1k on bedding certainly qualifies.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 24/10/2017 00:11

I have very expensive bed linen (all Frette) but it does need a lot of ironing, which luckily I don’t have to do or I’d throw the lot out. You’re better off spending the money on a good mattress, pillows and duvet, then worry about the bed linen.

But this really won’t help your depression. Please seek professional help and treat the cause, not the symptoms.

Italiangreyhound · 24/10/2017 00:11

Buy exactly what you want.

friendlyflicka · 24/10/2017 00:11

King of Cotton. 1000 thread count much cheaper and in my very experienced opinion far better than therapy

KenAdams · 24/10/2017 00:12

I have the most amazing sheets. 600tc for about £200 for SK FROM Soak and Sleep. Yves Delorme is discounted on HoF quite often and they also have UK outlets. I looked at YD as well but much preferred Soak and Sleep.

redfairy · 24/10/2017 00:21

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low OP. We obviously have different incomes as with a grand I could buy a little run around and insure it for a year. In your case its easy to say go for it but what happens next time you feel down?

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