Christmas WWYD/who is BU?

[turkeystuffing]

Background - Colin and Betty spent Christmas alternating between their families with their 1 DC. They spent Christmas with Colin’s family in 2014 then split up in 2015. Not wanting to miss seeing the DC, they spent Christmas in 2015 with Betty’s parents. By this point, Betty was seeing Alan who spent Christmas 2015 with his former PIL and his 1 DC. Alan’s family are all based overseas.

Come Christmas 2016, Alan and Betty were on a break but Betty was newly pregnant with their DC. It was Colin’s turn to go to his family but he chose to stay at home and invited Betty to spend Christmas with him and their DC. Separately Alan decided to go with his DC overseas to see his parents. During 2017, Alan and Betty reconciled and now live together with Alan’s DC, Betty’s DC and their new baby.

Here is the WWYD...

Alan’s sister, Diana, did not go and visit him Christmas 2016 as she was at her DH’s family so she booked flights to come for Christmas 2017. Alan’s parents were invited but declined due to cost of flights.

This would be Betty’s year to take her DC to visit her parents. Betty offered Colin to swap so he had their DC this year and Betty and Alan could go to her parents next year. Colin agreed and Betty’s parents agreed 2018 for hosting and made alternative plans for 2017.

Diana has now cancelled her visit as her MIL died so Alan and Betty are left without visitors or Betty’s DC who will be away with Colin. Alan’s parents and Diana want to visit next year or have Alan and Betty go and visit with the children but Betty has agreed to go to her parents.

WWYD?

Further info....

Betty’s family live reasonably local and visit/babysit regularly
Betty will have her first DC on alternate years now despite having the last two with Colin and DC
Alan’s family haven’t included him in other family occasions which he is sad about
Alan’s family are a long haul flight and a visit is booked for A, B plus DC to visit in Summer 2018
Diana’s DH didn’t want to visit before his DM died
Alan and his parents think Betty should have spent Christmas 2016 with her parents instead of with Colin

That just confused me...

Is that the plot to some sort of carry on/ jerry springer type farce?

Nope. I'm lost...

Alan and Betty should have christmas by themselves and then go to Bettys parents next year as planned.
Alan's family can go away and shite.

Alan and Betty should have Christmas in their own home and go to Betty's parents next year.

araiwa nope that’s all true!

Twattycatty - didn't mean to totally copy your reply 🙈☺️

Is the jist of it that Betty and Colon agreed every other year for Xmas with kids. Betty agreed to swap this year for various complicated reasons that have now fallen through and wants to renege on that?

If so, the arrangement should stand that Colin has the kids this year. Betty and Alan can go and visit other family / go on a holiday / have a small Xmas at home x

I agree with TwattyCatty.

What about Cedric and Gertrude? Don't forget them...

And GBBOAddict!

And this is why I'm remaining single until my children are adults...

Betty's parents have been messed around enough altering their plans for Diana. The new arrangements should be stuck to. Diana should see the family some other time rather than xmas.

This is why my tradition is staying at home with the kids and anyone who wants to see them can come to me 😆

Far too much to-ing & fro-ing & family arguements for me!

''Tis the season to be jolly and all that...

There’s not much arguing - just a ‘what is fairest’. The time and cost of overseas visiting is the complication that needs advice for I think.....

I am so glad that my parents live 3000 miles away and my inlaws 400 miles away so we just stay at home!

Oh God this is like one of those logistics puzzles.

John is a greengrocer and married Joan in the red hat and likes beef.

Hazel is a forklift truck driver married Barry in the green hat and likes fish.

Etc.
I’m shit at them and I’m shit at this, Sorry OP

FeralBeryl

I dont understand what is going on.

...diagram?

Blimey. For starters, forget anyone who's name isn't A, B or C!

Isn't the situation complicated enough with separated families than adding in the stress of other people making demands on Christmas Day?

This is the time of year when I start chanting Christmas is a season. You have the entire of Advent then the twelve days of Christmas until Twelfth Night to spend time with people over Christmas IMO. I see a good 60-70 people over that time, and spend Christmas day with about three people.

Ignore Diana and what she wants.
It's very sad her MIL died but her DH didn't want to come anyway, so he's likely to be a fly in the ointment next time around as well.

So Betty (who sounds like a bit of a flibbtertigibbet anyway, if you ask me) should honour the arrangements that she made for next year and not fuck her own and Colin's family around any further.

Alan can do whatever Alan feels is right for him and his family.

Agree with twatty catty. Arrangements should remain as they stand. Alan’s family should visit another time of year.

Oh god I'm really sorry
I think from this everyone should just do what they said they would in the first place and not confuse others

The various DCs’ needs outweigh extended family interests.