To ask how having children affected your career?

[Fluffysparks]

Just that really. Were you employed before having the DC, how much time did you take out and do you think it affected your career? I’ve just realised that it probably has with me, in more ways than one, and I’ve been quite lucky as well...

I agree cream
Why can't other organisations see that to give working mums a bit more flexibility in those early years promotes more dedicated team members in the future who hold a greater sense of loyalty!

I worked in another organisation before this one (before dd/pregnancy etc) worked to a senior level. My peers were one by one having babies and flexible working was declined. They soon left!

I left the demanding (and better paid!) banking sector job I had before children because I knew it would be near impossible to manage that job with children.

We moved out of the city, I took on a job that fortunately still pays well relative to the area and which allows me the flexibility to work with my children without compromising too much time with them. But there are days where I miss the lifestyle that I had with my previous career. If I'd waited until I was in my late 30s or 40s, I may have been able to wrangle the banking career with the kids, but that wasn't a guarantee either.

I don’t get what’s sad about that?youre not handing over to a random in a car park. Hopefully it’s a dbs checked nursery/cm who’ll undertake quality age appropriate safe interaction and you’ll return work.

Fairly well fucked it.

Returned after mat leave both times fine, but then we moved when DS2 was small (to a part of the country that suits us much more, no regrets about that). I left my job and have not been able to get back into my profession with the flexibility we need, especially with SEN thrown into the mix. Right now I see no hope in sight and just low paid, dead end, part time jobs.

... though I have to say I like my little part time jobs, they're just not going anywhere.

Frankly I think there are a lot of men who don't want to share 50/50 and there are a lot of women who want to give up work when they have children. The problem comes when the relationship falls apart and the women are literally left holding the baby. Why, when relationships break down, aren't men expected to 50:50 look after their children - school drop off/pickup, school holidays, sick days etc. If men had to do this they wouldn't be able to do these jobs and there would be more equality because we would all be in the same position!

I'm sorry but I really don't understand why, when people split up, regardless of what career choices you have made this doesn't happen. Women are completely shafted by this and generally have to go into low paid work and on benefits.

Fucked it.
Took two maternity leaves, three years between, but was part time after Dc1.
It was a work late, travel quite a lot place. Once I couldn't I was edged out and eventually made redundant.
Had dc3 and been a sahm for about and am now retraining to start over...

Spiralled me into career success of a kind I had not anticipated. Multiple grants books publications and a promotion. Am an academic

Mine has been very affected but that's more down to the arsehole I chose to father my child.

I was a direct sales team manager and planning to take a work paid course to become a campaign manager when I found out I was pregnant.
When I was returning to work it was quickly made apparent by then DP that he would not be changing his hours in anyway (even though he was earning the same as me and wasn't looking at progression like I was) to work around DS and childcare so it meant me having to step down from team manager. Tbf the company worked round me as best they could and changed my hours to 10-5 so I could fit in with nursery hours, but it meant I couldn't run my own team due to my shift being different to everyone else's 12-8 shifts, and I was back to a direct sales assistant.

I ended things with DS's dad but by this point I was earning so much less and a single parent so I couldn't afford to live close to work anymore and had to move somewhere that ended up being too far to commute with a small child each day as I don't drive.
Now I work close to home but couldn't find anything that could offer me full time whilst fitting into childcare hours, so I'm part time and on minimum wage, earning barely £11k p/a when I would have been on £25-30k plus commission if I'd not had to take a step down and eventually leave my last job.

What a difficult thread to stomach in the most part. My own experiences have not been great. I work in a very (white middle aged) male industry. I was reasonably Senior when I was made redundant at 6m pregnant with DC1. I took a basic admin job to stop me going stir crazy when she was 1 knowing we wanted another DC. After the birth of DC2 I returned to my industry a couple of pegs down at a new firm. I’ve been there 18m, DC2 is now 2. DC1 started school this time - I’m never at the school gates, she’s in wrap around care. DC2 is in nursery. DH is great - we take a kid each in a morning to their respective locations and then he picks them both up, before returning to work more often than not (senior position) as I can’t leave at a defined time usually. Despite never having a single day off for appointments, DC sickness, etc etc etc I’m still tutted at for daring to leave at 5.30 when I can. I can’t make an 8am meeting in another Office location than my usual one for example, and only two weeks ago I was asked why I’d bothered to have kids if I wanted this career. Steps up are just not possible at the moment because of the logistics but to be honest I’m not sure I want them anymore - and that’s the biggest change in my career. Before DCs I wanted to make director by 40. Now, I genuinely don’t. If I’m fulfilled, and my phone can be switched off at weekends and holidays, then they still get the best of me. Agree that the support of DH and paid help (childcare, cleaner, friends/family that can help in an emergency) is crucial.
Before DCs my career was my life. Now it’s just part of my life - important, but not the be all and end all.

Having my children ruined my career. I worked bloody hard to get where I was before giving over 10 years to local government.

After my first dc I went back part time, and it had such an adverse effect, I now have no real possibility of ever catching back up.

Not that I mind I love my kids, but Sometimes part of me wishes I stayed full time and kept up with the 'game' but I know I've never have kept up with the demand, the long hours, all the extras I'd never have seen them.

I don't earn bad money for working part time but I see all the people being promoted above me all because of 2 extra days work.

My career hasn’t been at all affected but I wish that it had been! My DH doesn’t earn enough for me to be a SAHM or to take a job that will allow me to be part-time. So I am stuck with having a career and really would happily give it all up for my DC if we could afford it.

Lipstick - well let's rephrase that, I would have been sad to hand my kid over and I am very happy that I didn't have to but, having taken a few years off, my career has taken a hit - so in my eyes I made a choice - kids or career. I chose kids.

I work in a v well paid job doing 45 hrs on site and then about another 20 hrs at home -/admin/ off site. This allows me to pick up and drop off from school 2 days per week and be home for tea the other 3 days - once in bed , outcomes admin and stuff !! I do the admin and projects in my time as and when - sunday afternoon at swimming practice, saturday morning at tennis, thursday evening at drama etc.

My male colleagues all work 60-70 hrs per week, all day and 3-4 nights per week till 2100-2200 and most of them at least a Saturday every other weekend.

I earn 300-400K less per annum than they do.

Regrets : maybe a few wishing I had hit a few years on top dollar before the DCS.!

Other than that no - my DCs are fab, would not miss them for the world, they are so much more fun than working every evening.

How am I treated by my colleagues other professionals - that I am a part timer and not dedicated to my work!!!!!

I think I have the best - I love my job, but I love my DCS more!!
Oh and my DCs know who I am!

I don't think it's helpful to imply that going back to work is somehow not choosing your kids. In our case, my career means that my DD has a happy, fulfilled parent, and also that we as a family have a standard of living we never would have had otherwise. The latter is nice; but for me, as the daughter of a dissatisfied woman who sacrificed her own career, the former is priceless. Other women's choices aren't the problem - it's the lack of choices afforded by partners who don't take an equal share of domestic responsibilities, and backwards attitudes in the workplace. Let's not turn it into anything else.

Also fucked it.

I'm at the same level I was at about fifteen years ago. I gave up work for 9 months after each baby, which didn't feel like much, but it was enough.

I was earning more than hubby when we got pregnant. He now earns five times my salary - and we are divorced. Depressing.

I was "full of potential" but having children should be under that as a disclaimer.

Working PT usually does impede progression.even if one didn’t have kids,PT work is usually a barrier to progression. rightly or wrongly employers have misgivings about PT working. The notion of availability and commitment seen to be perceived as decreased if employee is PT .

I was not going to be drawn down the career or kids cliche.its a dichotomy that predominantly women face. I was not going to let that develop. My kids fit in around me to an extent eg holiday clubs, Afterschool etc. Trade off for them is they’re happy, settled, good mates at after school, like summer club and have a fulfilled mum

It finished it, but partly because I let it. No regrets.

I went part-time which, looking back, meant my chances of promotion were non-existent. I wouldn’t have got anywhere unless I returned full-time. I felt part-timers were looked down on by (usually childless) people of both sexes.

But having children altered my values as well and I lost interest in my career. During job cuts I took the chance to leave and was then able to have a couple of years off with my children.

I do something completely different now for less than half the money and I’m happy, because I’m not pressured and I am available for my children. However, when they are older I would like to ‘step up’ my career again as I will have more time and energy to do so, I hope. I still have more to achieve.

Yes. I have the time to work during the day, but I don’t have the additional spare time on weekends/evenings to increase my experience in my field, therefore I have plateaued and don’t think I will ever get past this level, which I feel sad about.

I’m still tutted at for daring to leave at 5.30 when I can. I can’t make an 8am meeting in another Office location than my usual one for example

^this! @MissingDietCoke I feel you!!!

I’m the only female on the senior team in my company, if I say I can’t do a late meeting because I need to pick DS up from after school care at 5.30 because my OH needs to work late that night I get eye rolls - if one of the men says they need to leave early to look after one of their DCs because their dearest sahw is meeting her gfs for cocktails he’s seen as some kind of fucking hero!!!

And that’s the fuckin kicker, the heroic man if he does a childcare task

Not at all. We both work full time and earn on a par with each other. Our dc are in ft childcare which they love. My dh sees parenting as 50/50 and we divvy up sick days. This allows to afford a good standard of life. I like keeping my ft job up. It's tiring but gives us lots more options, but I never wanted to give up work. I like it.

sashi sometimes it’s just not possible to do 50:50. It’s great that you and your dh** can

It's hard to say because I don't know what my career would have been like if I hadn't had kids. I don't think it really took much of a hit because I took short maternity leaves, transferred leave to my husband so he then had a few months off, I went back full time both occasions and (once we were both back) we had childcare with plan A,B, C and D in place which is critical if you have no family help, and we were prepared to take the financial hit for those initial years.
I'm a solicitor and work in the City but not magic circle/silver circle. So I do have a work/life balance. I start very early but leave at 4 or 5 pm (I do more work at home if I need to) and work at home at least one day a week. I'm now a senior associate and manage my own cases and diary so its actually easier than when I had my first when only 1 year PQE.
I do have a big gap between my two children though - nearly 9 years - and I don't think we could have coped with two full time careers if we'd had a baby and toddler at the same time.
I was a bit if a "plodder" before I had children. I loved the law, it genuinely interested and stimulated me but I wasn't that interested in earning loads or being promoted.
Having children actually made me more ambitious, not least because we now need a bigger house, two cars (if it was just us we could live very modestly - I'm not really into material stuff), thinking about planning for uni and possibly house deposits for them as they get older. I'm now hoping to go for partnership next year. I can't say I'd have been so bothered if I didn't have the children's futures to worry about.
I am a bit odd/untypical though. But I don't feel my career has suffered for having children. Perhaps the opposite.

And that’s the fuckin kicker, the heroic man if he does a childcare task

Yep!!

Me and OH share childcare/school drop offs/holiday clubs/parties absolutely 50:50 and we see it as nothing unusual, but the number of people who say I’m “lucky” or tell him “wow, you do all that?” is unbelievable