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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel frustrated that you can't do anything with young children

115 replies

Chattycat78 · 22/10/2017 20:50

Just that. Tried to go to a family party today which was around 1.5 hours away. Maybe stupid to consider it with a 17 month old and an almost 3 year old but I really wanted to try.

The end result was - Barely managed to speak to people who I hadn't seen for a long time. Husband had to entertain older one and I had the younger one. They both wriggled, cried, refused to eat, and neither of us got a single moment to relax or socialise in an environment not kitted out for small people.

I know this is "how it is" with small children - but what's the solution? Do you- a. Forget anything vaguely complicated until they are older knowing it's "not worth it"- or
B. Do it anyway knowing you'll have a tough time but at least you've tried?

OP posts:
KalaLaka · 22/10/2017 20:53

a is so much less stressful.

KalaLaka · 22/10/2017 20:54

You also have to bring loads of stuff to play with and snack on. Avoid certain events if you know they'll just be a headache.

JennyOnAPlate · 22/10/2017 20:55

A. Definitely do A.

RefuseTheLies · 22/10/2017 20:56

We went pumpkin picking today with our toddler. I thought it would be a lovely autumn / Halloween activity. It was a fucking disaster. Toddler screamed at everything. We went home after 30 mins.

Original poster
Chattycat78 · 22/10/2017 20:57

Thanks guys. It helps it's not "just me"Confused

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 22/10/2017 20:57

A
It doesn't last that long really.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 22/10/2017 20:58

I have to say I used to love big family gatherings as a way of entertaining toddlers. We used to turn up and would basically not see the kids again until home time as they would be monopolised by various family members feeding them too much cake!

BamburyFuriou3 · 22/10/2017 20:58

A.
Or commit a parental faux Pas and take iPads with headphones and loads of cbeebies downloaded for them to watch - which is what I did for our biggest family gathering for 30 years.... And got tutted at Hmm

Original poster
Chattycat78 · 22/10/2017 20:59

Yeah we forgot the iPad! Might have been better if we had!

OP posts:
WhatWouldGenghisDo · 22/10/2017 20:59

A mostly. Then in a crazy access of boredom / over-confidence fling ourselves into B. Cope with the repercussions of B. Revert to A.

OuchBollocks · 22/10/2017 21:01

A. Definitely A. DD is 3.3 and getting much easier to take places already, so I can chill a bit more with the baby knowing that nothing lasts forever. In the mean time convince yourself you love kicking leaves, running down a hill, pretending to make phone calls with the display phones in the supermarket etc safe in the knowledge that before you know it they'll look at you like this Hmm if you dare suggest spending time together.

SpottyGecko · 22/10/2017 21:01

I've a 5yo and a 13 month old.

Today has been dreadful. The 5yo was worse than the baby. He's normally so easy these days, but a half term of year 1 under his belt has turned him into an overtired, naughty little devil. And the baby whinged all day.

I feel your pain

Birdsgottafly · 22/10/2017 21:03

Definitely A.

I had loads of days out planned with my GD over last Christmas/Summer, but had forgot how mardy/awkward under 2.5's are.

MyBabyIsAWerewolfAhwooooo · 22/10/2017 21:05

C. Go and leave partner behind to care for the kids

D. Send partner with the kids and enjoy the peace

GingerAndPrickles · 22/10/2017 21:05

A mostly. Then in a crazy access of boredom / over-confidence fling ourselves into B. Cope with the repercussions of B. Revert to A

Preach sister. Wine

Original poster
Chattycat78 · 22/10/2017 21:06

Loving c and d!

OP posts:
Whatsername17 · 22/10/2017 21:06

I feel your pain. Whilst dd1 was under 5, I never took her to a wedding, party or any event after bedtime because it was hard work and not fun. I'm lucky as my parents are very willing babysitters. Dd2 is 9 months and I'll be doing the same with her. Mil was annoyed when my parents picked dd1 up at 6.30pm from sils wedding, but dd was only 4 and dh wanted to stay until the very end of his sister's wedding. It was better that she went home early than all of us have to leave when she got tired and became a head spinning monster. Throwing out an option 'C' and get a babysitter if you can. Wine

Dozer · 22/10/2017 21:07

A or C, one of you goes alone.

Can work things so that each parent gets some leisure time to do whatever. Harder to work things so that you can get time as a couple.

MrsKoala · 22/10/2017 21:08

Yeah, just A and a tinkly laugh when people say 'i took my kids everywhere and they happily sat in the corner with a colouring pad and a pencil' (i'm sure they'll be along soon).

MrsKoala · 22/10/2017 21:10

Every now and then do B just to remind yourself why you do A.

Original poster
Chattycat78 · 22/10/2017 21:11

Mrs Koala- yeah I know people like that already. My kids aren't those kids though!Hmm

OP posts:
maamalady · 22/10/2017 21:11

I think (c) go to things that are child-friendly. A week or two ago we went to a family party with our 3 year old and 18 month old, roughly 1.5 hours from home. It was a piss easy day, because:

  1. it was at my gran's house
  2. my cousins' kids (all a few years older) are great with mine
  3. my parents, cousins, and other relatives are a big attraction for my children, and play/interact with then well, as DH and I do with the other family children

If it's a family party in an inhospitable location with people who are essentially strangers to the kids then that's much harder work! Worth persevering though, as if you meet people often enough they become familiar to the kids and that makes everything easier.

BakedBeeeen · 22/10/2017 21:11

You can pick and choose the events you go to, and you have a good excuse not to go!

I feel your pain, 18months to 2 years is a very hard age, especially with a high energy little boy. They just want to run around, climb things, and try to break stuff...arrrggghhh!!

It will get easier, Our 3.5 year old DS is so much easier at these sort of things now. For example, we went out to a restaurant for lunch today and he sat and ate his meal and chatted to us and was generally very well behaved.

C0untDucku1a · 22/10/2017 21:11

Tech is your friend op.

mumtomaxwell · 22/10/2017 21:12

I only ever go to these things if my parents or brother will be there too... my kids are the only grandchildren/nephews so the grandparents/uncle can be relied upon to entertain them. In any other circumstance I choose A!!