Friend of 20 years assaulted me

[Awomansworkisneverdone]

Absolutely gutted this has happened!
Me and my closest friend went out on a night out last night,the night started brilliantly! Few drinks,dancing the night away.
My friend noticed a old colleague if hers and a few of his friends and pretty much left me to it,at this point I wasn’t that bothered it was 1am and I was ready to go home. I told her I was heading home and do you want to taxi share, she said no going to stay here, I said I didn’t want to leave her there alone with all the men as they starting taunting her one put his lime from his glass down her cleavage. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable leaving her with all of them, she then said il go home with ** !! The colleague! She then said text “husband” tell him Iv gone home with you!
I refused to go along with it and left pretty angry!
She came down the road, staggering all over the place. I was flagging down a taxi. She walked up to me but fell back falling on her bum I picked her up linked her arm and tried to get her in the taxi!
She pulled her arm from me and slapped me hard in the face muttering something. I looked at her told her fine and left myself !
I burst into tears on the way home!
She’s never been aggressive towards me. Iv known her along time. She’s one of my closest friends.
I told my other half and he told me to wash my hands with her. I texted her this morning saying how much she hurt me and that I was worried about her and asked why she hit me.in that situation I would absolutely retaliate in defence but I couldn’t I was too upset and shocked. She replied saying she’s to fucking hungover to deal with this shit. AIBU to let this friendship go? I don’t know if I can forgive.

Oh .. missed above posts ^^

She sounds utterly vile in every way, shape and form. Block and delete.

I think that she feels she has done nothing wrong, and is waiting for you to apologise, for not doing what she wanted and ruining her fun. She might be very embarrassed. Leave the ball in her court and don't contact her. If she says and does nothing then you will know what kind if friend she is.

Not only would I bin her off, I would be very tempted to do what sinister said. Shame you slapped me and tried to get me to cover for you, our friendship is at an end. Never contact me again.

That'll learn her. She sounds really horrible. People do change and it sounds like she has.

Was she taking drugs? I had a flat mate who I got on very well with.

Went on a night out and ‘bumped’ into her colleague. She also ignored me and then turned nasty half an hour later and I left after being shoved. Turned out a few weeks later that her ‘colleague’ was her dealer. she changed dramatically over the next few weeks and was asked to leave having failed to pay her share of the rent and given others the run around with money she owed.

Years later she tried to contact me to meet up. I couldn’t bring myself to. Sometimes it’s better to stay clear and let people get on with their lives.

Twenty years is a long to time have a friendship with someone. Was it a close friendship?? Did you go out most weekends or was it just every now and again.??

I definitely don't think she would have done this if she had been sober but that is no excuse for what she did. Depending on you how you feel, you can either try and forgive her but really lay down the law about the next time you go out or, keep it on a general level but don't go out with her again (if you do, make it tea or coffee in the afternoon rather than alcohol at night). Only you would know as her friend what she is like with alcohol, but again that is no excuse for hitting you.

Speak to her once her hangover is over and stress how she made you feel. You were being a really good friend to her (and they are hard to come by), trying to get her home only she was too drunk to notice. ..

I think you need to have a good chat with her. Like is said, twenty years is a very long time.

I hope it works out for you!!

T. XXXX

I have to agree, drugs may be a cause of your friends behaviour. A student friend seemed much drunker all of a sudden, she was staggering and slurring. She got verbally aggressive then collapsed. She ended up in hospital with drugs in her system but I'm not sure what was given to her or if she'd taken them herself. Her parents turned up and gave the impression it had happened before.

Sounds like coke op it can make people absolute wankers

I wonder if she's got some sort of issue going on that maybe you're not aware of, whether it's drug use or relationship problems or something else entirely, but maybe something she is trying to hide from you?

I think she knows she was completely out of line and she's afraid to face up to you about it so is trying to act like she doesn't care.

Only you know whether it's worth giving her a bit more time and seeing if you can get to the bottom of what's going on and why she did what she did. If she doesn't acknowlege that she was completely out of line and apologise then I would say don't bother with her any more.

I get drunk and stupid at times, I'd still never hit a friend! She is a twat and she would be gone from my life. I would be seriously unimoressed with the fact she tried to bpget you to cover for her trying to shag someone else too.

I wouldn't be drinking coffee with someone who'd just slapped me and then basically not in so many words told me to eff off when I text her.
We've all got our demons and our issues, but we don't go around slapping people across the face.

Only you know what is in character and what isnt. Sounds from your post like the violence is a new departure, trying to go home with other men isn't.

Only you can decide if you want to stay friends.

She'd be dead to me after this.

Drugs and/or alcohol are not an excuse.

I wouldn't cover for her if her DH (or anyone for that matter) brings up anything that requires you to be an alibi for her.

I'd be cutting ties with her.

We are good friends. Have knows each other since first year at school!
We don’t live In each other’s pockets, we both have pretty busy routines, so we catch up once maybe twice a week, we don’t go out much on nights out as we are not teenagers anymore, that was the first night since April.
I honestly couldn’t say if something is going on with her. She hasn’t told me anything recently. So I can’t answer. The flirting is normal but the hitting out is not. Have not heard anything from her.

She’s no friend

Just leave it. And let her come to you if she does.

Sounds like she was absolutely hammered and didn’t know what she was doing. Unacceptable but not irreparable in my view. Especially such a long friendship. Some mega grovelling is needed though and she needs to take a look at herself in the mirror if she’s getting so drunk she wallops a pal.

My closest friend once went off the rails after her mother died. She drank excessively and got herself into dangerous situations. She came to a works do of mine and was really embarrassing. People couldn’t understand why she was my friend when in reality she is usually the kindest funniest woman I’ve ever met. She didn’t hit me but it was a really hard time. I rescued her once when she was wandering late at night and pissed and she came home and sobbed in my arms for an hour.

The point of all that OP is that you know your friend. If this is something totally uncharacteristic then there may be something in be background which is causing her to drink to excess and to react in a way she would never normally dream of. No one would criticise you for cutting ties but if she was my longstanding good friend I would probably want to make sure that she didn’t need support. Her reaction to your text isn’t great I agree.

@NashvilleQueen agree.

I wonder if there are problems in her marriage?

I think if she’d apologised profusely this morning and was mortified, I’d probably have moved past it due to thr historical friendship and the fact it was out of character. The text this morning however makes it unforgivable.

Ditch the bitch

I care about her a lot.
Maybe there’s something going on that I’m not aware of ?
Il let things cool off then maybe call her? Might seem a bit of a pushover but I will also explain to her that I’m not a figure to lash out at. She knows she can talk to me about anything.

It all sounds very Geordie Shore. I don't know why you're friends with her.