To wonder why you wouldn't make a small effort to cover up whilst feeding?

[BonkToTheFinish]

Not in your own home or whatever else that is within comfort zone for you.

I’m talking restraunts, places to eat etc etc

I don’t really understand it. A good friend of mine liked a picture that I came across today titled “Not even trying to cover up in public anymore, most natural thing ever 👌❤️”

Picture is of said woman in a bit swankier than average place to eat, boob completely out without thought and baby isn’t covering it at all really.

You do NOT NOT NOT have to cover a baby’s head to be discrete. You don’t even have to wear specialist clothing, it’s very easy to be discrete without having to have the whole breast completely on show.

I wouldn’t just feed DS with a whole boob out, it isn’t necessary and although BF is natural, some people do feel uncomfortable about breasts and aren’t comfortable seeing one completely on show - It doesn’t mean they’d say anything and that’s because they’re polite.

Is it really necessary to have whole boob out like that? AIBU?

I can’t say I’ve seen many people doing it, SIL was feeding her newborn DS a few weeks back and I was shocked she was feeding. I couldn’t actually tell, and baby has a small latch issue.

I’ve only ever seen one other person in public being a bit too in your face about it. She had the whole thing out and wasn’t too bothered regarding her DC being on there etc. She had it out before he was even out of the pram from waking up. The breast was directing me in life, so it seemed, by its swinging

But get on with it the same way those who choose or are forced to ff do.

What do you mean by this, justkidding? Self evidently breastfeeders can't deal with it in exactly the same way as formula feeders, unless they express. I hope you're not intending to suggest that, so what are you suggesting?

You talk about people making a massive performance of it but, seriously, how often have you seen that happen? I can honestly say I never have but, to be honest, it wouldn't bother me if I did apart from, maybe, being vaguely irritated if it really was a big, show-of production. Someone simply getting a photo taken of themselves breastfeeding wouldn't qualify as a performance for me.

Lapin, how do you cope in the summer with all those people wearing shorts and T shirts if you don't like seeing flesh?

Ha yes I find a Muslim nice and cosy on a chilly day
Muslin
Muslin
MUSLIN.

Shorts and tshirts are ok but not those v short shorts where butt cheeks are hanging out. That seems to be a new trend and it’s vile.
I also don’t like gaps between trousers and tops. Yuck.

Lapin, don't you think your issues with flesh are yours to deal with, though? If you're more comfortable with covering up and your baby is OK with it, fine, but that is no reason to circumscribe what other people do, is it?

I am just expressing an opinion Ceto. Isn’t that what we’re all doing on this site?

I did actually feed my babies through winter and summer because they all feed till they were at least 18 months old, and I fed them wherever they wanted to feed. I used a muslin which I draped on my shoulder for two reasons, 1. Yes I get cold easily i don't usually wear very low cut tops, never was it to hide my self infact if you were looking close enough you could proably see through it. and 2, leaks, tucking the end under my breast and babys head to stop my clothes getting wet when baby lets go and the milk still flows.

I also used to pull my top up rather than down sometimes so if anything you were seeing my middle not my breast at all.

Mothers SHOULD ALWAYS feed their babies where the need fed, so to all those not wanting to go out or whatever please do not feel embarised about doing the most natural thing in the world!

Lapin: But I do think there is a culture of aggression around breastfeeding now, like “I’ll feed my baby wherever and however I want and if you don’t like it you can fuck off”.

Why not take a moment to think about how ridiculous that sounds?

The world we live in is full of aggression: suicide bombings, murders, wars, political leaders attacking their own citizens, rape of women, sexual abuse of children, football hooliganism, stabbings, gun attacks...

All those acts of aggression are, not exclusively, but almost exclusively, committed by men. Are you seriously suggesting, in the fact of all that, that public breastfeeding has a "culture of aggression"?

Time, perhaps, to sit down for some quiet reflection to gain some perspective.

Hack dear if anyone sounds ridiculous it’s you. And you might want some counselling or quiet reflection for your issues with men.

I agree hackmum.

I breastfed my daughter for over 3 years, and am very pro-breast feeding - it was one of the loveliest parts of my DD's early years. I love to see other mothers breastfeeding but discreetly. I always covered my breasts when I was out.

I think there is some kind of weird aggression and competitive virtue-signalling going on here when women just don't cover their breasts. I think there is also some kind of strange sexual exhibitionism going on.

True if you saw people acting sexually with their children in public I hope you called the police?

Lapin, of course we're all expressing opinions. But we're not just shouting them into into a void, are we? It's a discussion, it usually involves people asking questions. None of us have an inherent right not to be asked the basis for our opinions.

Hack dear if anyone sounds ridiculous it’s you. And you might want some counselling or quiet reflection for your issues with men

Lol. You’re deluded if you think men don’t create the world’s biggest problems.

The plain fact is that, by law, we can feed our babies whenever and however we want, subject to obvious safety considerations. I don't understand how exercising that right is an act of aggression.

Yes why is this even a discussion about wether we ‘should’? We are entitled to by law

I don’t actually think anyone does sit in public with their breasts completely uncovered bf anyway. It’s just a scenario made up by people wanting to kick bf mums. Unless you’re stripped to the waist it would pretty hard to show both of / your whole breast and nipple whilst feeding anyway. I bet what people are meaning by indiscreetly is anyone they notice bf at all, or see any amount of boob or nipple whilst feeding.

Funny that people don’t mind seeing boob when they’re no baby involved and don’t mind seeing nipples on men or on the beach.

It’s the act of breastfeeding itself that bothers some people. They believe it should be a private, hidden away thing. It’s just a baby / toddler having its dinner.

I say this as someone who ‘failed’ at bf. My son had swelling and bruising from rotational forceps so couldn’t open his mouth wide enough to get a latch. I expressed for almost 12 weeks and it was the toughest thing I’ve ever done. This has made me want to make life even easier for bf mums as I know how bloody difficult it can be and how isolating.

I have never ever seen any acts of agressive breastfeeding or exhibitionism that has been described on here. Ever. And I am constantly surrounded by young mums and live in a place where the overwhelming majority of women breastfeed.

I seriously cannot understand how anyone could perceive breastfeeding as either discreet or in your face.

The categories I do see are new mums, struggling to find their new rhythms and established feeders, who just crack on with the job.

Both of which are not doing anything wrong or anything offensive. No one is being harmed by the feeding of their babies.

I mean posting about doing it on SM. it's feeding a baby. Get on and do it however you want. It's necessary to do.

But taking a selfie of doing it and making a point about doing it isn't necessary.

People feed their babies how they can and want. All this SM stuff just makes parents end up feeling like they are wrong, or not doing the best for their baby etc.

Some woman feel self conscious BF in public. (I didn't - I did it on a crowded bus once )
Some woman don't like BF and chose FF.
Some can't BF.
Some like to feed openly.

Imo when woman BF openly and post about it it's creating a big deal around something needed for life and perfectly natural.

Ceto I meant get on with it like FF feeders as in just do it! No photos no SM posts about how marvellous you are and how your getting your boobs out to prove a point.

Just feed your baby the way you chose.

It's their social media. And it's a very large part of someone's life.
If you don't like it. Scroll pat or unfriend them.

Or maybe some might be taking selfies that they happen to be bfing in. Maybe they thought their face looked particularly good and the baby bfing was incidental.

You mean like the FF who hijacked the tree of life pictures?

I think there is a lot of projection and misplaced guilt going on on this thread.

The idea of a culture of aggression around breastfeeding is one of the stupidest things I've ever read on this site (and that bar is set high).

How does one 'aggressively' breastfeed even if one wants to?

Hackmum is absolutely right. Have a think about actual acts of aggression and ponder on how on earth feeding a defenseless baby, even with a degree of boob on show equates on any level. It's a truly stupid thing to say.

What I suppose you mean is women breastfeeding confidently, proudly, happily without feeling the need to hide it. And this is interpreted as 'aggressive' in the society we live in. Because god forbid a woman could be happy and content doing what her body is primed to do. Better make her feel conflicted and shit then. Nice one.

What a depressingly misogynist world we live in. Consider yourself very much part of the problem.

Like lots of other areas, you’re not allowed to have an opinion on public breastfeeding. I EBF my 6 month old, and I will feed him wherever he needs fed. Cafes and restaurants, park benches, grass verges, even in a display gazebo at the garden centre! But I don’t need to get my full breast out to do it. Honestly, when I see a very confident women feeding her baby, baring all, I think she’s either trying to prove a point or enjoys attention... Flame me.

Lots of things that are normal and natural are done in private or discretely. Why would I want to make other people feel very uncomfortable just to prove a point? Some day, hopefully it will be very normal to see breasts, but at the moment it’s still a novel idea for some!