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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nearly 10yr old DS still believes in Santa

253 replies

Happyhappyveggie · 22/10/2017 17:28

DS is 10 in Jan and still totally believes in Father Christmas. I assume it might be the last one and he's still really sweet & innocent about it all.
But another parent said to me that it was ridiculous that he believes still and that her son had worked it out at age 7.
Aibu to be worried about it or just. E glad that he's still innocent and sweet!

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 22/10/2017 20:31

Explain the Disney fairy thing then. It's a story that she's seen and decided to believe for now.

You can't escape the santa thing - it's fucking everywhere from about August. She gets what other children say happens, she's gone to grottos. We've just never implied any of it is real. She could believe it as easily as anything else if she wanted to.

(Like when her best friend told her that she'd go to hell if she didn't pray to Jesus every night. That took some significant reprogramming!)

SomethingNewToday · 22/10/2017 20:32

When the eldest one knows, the youngest one will know too

This is one thing I'm sad about. ATM I'm pretty sure that ds1 (also 10 in Jan) has some doubts but that Ds2 (7) 100% believes.

I hate the thought of actually telling ds1 and hoped it would be more of an unspoken realisation from him but I don't want him to realise then blurt it out in front of Ds2. So I don't know whether to mention it or not.

Walkingthedog46 · 22/10/2017 20:33

Are you sure he doesn't believe in Father Christmas? When I finally told my girls the truth they responded with 'Mum, we've known for years, but you seemed to be enjoying the pretence so much we just went along with it to please you' !!!!!!!

PinkFlamingo888 · 22/10/2017 20:34

I was never told and I turned out just fine. To this day I don’t want anybody to ever tell me. I obviously know the truth but there’s still that tiny bit of magic that I don’t ever want to lose. I remember when I think I was about 12 my Dad’s girlfriend saying to my oldest brother, within earshot of me, ‘what she still believes!?’ By then I did know the truth deep down but I just didn’t want to believe it. I still think about how cruel it was of her to say.

Whisky2014 · 22/10/2017 20:36

That's what I'm saying though, if you implied it was real it's likely she would believe it. You never have so she doesn't. Shock horror.

Whisky2014 · 22/10/2017 20:37

And I still get santa presents at 31! A whole sack!

TittyGolightly · 22/10/2017 20:38

That's what I'm saying though, if you implied it was real it's likely she would believe it. You never have so she doesn't. Shock horror.

So explain the fairy thing then.

Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 22/10/2017 20:39

Hey guess what. My ten year old still believes in the tooth fairy .

Fuck the critical thinking skills right now!

FannyFifer · 22/10/2017 20:40

I had to break it to my 12 year old son this year before he started high school. Grin
Honestly can’t believe he didn’t figure it out before then, we had dropped heavy hints for last two years but he totally had no idea.

Whisky2014 · 22/10/2017 20:40

Explain what fairy thing? The cleaning fairy? I did further up. It's not comparable and frankly stupid. We could compare god though and you saying santa is worse is incredible. War...killing, suppression, pain and hurt, Abuse, selling and trading of weapons which the UK is one of the biggest exports of and you think santa is worse. Yeah right.

Whisky2014 · 22/10/2017 20:44

Oh maybe you mean the Disney fairy seasons thing. That will be because she doesn't know really why the seasons actually change and Disney has shown her one way. So she believes that. I have absolutely zero doubt in my mind that if you actually "did" santa, she would have believed. But who cares. I don't care if she does or doesn't but just because you and your husband didn't enjoy the lie, doesnt mean other wouldnt and from how big the holiday is, I think it's safe to say santa is pretty enjoyable.

TittyGolightly · 22/10/2017 20:46

I said upthread that she kind of believes at the moment that fairies change the seasons. Disney have made about 7 films about it. No adults are endorsing that, it's not talked about at school etc but she still chooses to believe that.

Almost everyone she meets or watches wants to endorse the santa idea, but she's never accepted it or consOrdered it as a possibility. She's had 5 "verbal" xmases where she could have asked whether her presents came from santa. She hasn't.

How do you explain the disconnect?

eversoslightlytired · 22/10/2017 20:50

My son is 10. He asked me last year if Santa was true and I told him it was entirely his choice whether to believe or not. My son has a brain tumour, which was discovered last year. His life since February 2016 has been pretty shit and I am in no way going to make it worse by outright saying he doesnt exist. We are going to Lapland to meet Santa in December and he is so excited. He knows some of his friends don't believe and I'm pretty sure this is the last year he will have the joy of believing in the magic of it all. I don't give a shit if that makes him naive, which he is to be fair, but i'm all for him being naive and innocent - childhood ends far too early and I refuse to worry about whether my child should or should not believe in something so pure and special.

umizoomi · 22/10/2017 20:55

Titty seriously??! You hated being lied to? About Santa?!?

Of course your child doesn’t believe if you haven’t encouraged it. So what if Santa is all over the place in stores etc?

It’s purely magical as a parent when your kids believe, the look on their faces and that excitement makes Christmas so special.

Plenty of time to grow up - they aren’t mentally harmed by being told about Santa and then realising he isn’t real. Hmm

tygr · 22/10/2017 20:55

Whisky So do I.* I’m 40.* Still get a pillowcase!

I haven’t believed for years though Grin

I was one of those kids who felt like I’d been lied to by my parents when I finally found out.* I was furious. Not sure what I’ll do if I have my own kids.*

Whisky2014 · 22/10/2017 21:01

Hehe tygr I still get the excitement when I see my sack!

I think a kid at school told the rest of my class and I went home to ask my mum. She just asked what I thought and im sure for that year I still believed then after that I think I knew he wasn't real but still wanted to believe anyway. Still like to think he does now actually :) I never thought of it as a lie!

Growingboys · 22/10/2017 21:02

My DS10 still believes, but I know as soon as I tell him, his younger siblings will know too.

I'm going to tell him before secondary school, but if he has one last happy Christmas this year believing, that's fine by me.

Sallystyle · 22/10/2017 21:03

My almost 9 year old believes. It's genuine, she isn't playing along.

My almost 11 year says she believes but I know she is playing along. There is no way she believes in it but she likes to play them game I suppose.

My teens know he isn't real obviously but I never sat them down and told them he doesn't exist.

Kahlua4me · 22/10/2017 21:08

My dd still believes and she has just started at secondary! She has just started saying that some friends don't believe but I will only tell her if she asks me directly.

DS was exactly the same, he asked me soon after his first Christmas at secondary. It doesn't seem to have affected his transition into teenage years!

Snowballtorch · 22/10/2017 21:25

Our 8yr DD believes still, but our 10yr DS has been pretending to believe for the last year or so. This year he has told us he is asking Santa for a Rolex. Grin

DeadDoorpost · 22/10/2017 21:30

Nah, my DB is 11 and still believes. My DF was going to be sad because by about 12 we all figured it out anyway so this was going to be his last year. (DB is Aspergers so hasn't really questioned it as he believes what he's told. He's starting to question now though bless him. He's intelligent but I think he understands the magic of it all.)

Only we seem to have perfectly timed the birth of DGC1 so he's got at least another 12 years to go 😂😂

For DF it's always been the magic of Santa and how he works etc.

arethereanyleftatall · 22/10/2017 21:31

Without exception, the most joy my children have ever had is on Christmas morning when they discover he's been. It's wonderful, magical and I'm smiling as I type at the memory.
I find it astonishing that some parents would prefer their children to be 'critical thinkers' than experience this sheer delight as many times as they possibly can.

MrsHandles · 22/10/2017 21:36

Critical thinking skills? Oh do come on now! My sister and I believed until the first year of secondary school (I was sworn to secrecy, being the older sibling) I am now a teacher and my sister runs her own lab in a hospital. Yes, I fear we both lack critical thinking skills. Hmm
I hope any children I have get into the spirit of the holiday and look back on the ‘magic’ with fond memories as I do.
OP, I’d tell your son before secondary school, but I see no harm in having one last ‘Father Christmas’ Christmas.

LagunaBubbles · 22/10/2017 21:37

Runrabbit concerned about lack of critical thinking skills because a 9 year he still believes in Santa? Good god, what a load of bullshit.

TeeniefaeTroon · 22/10/2017 21:52

I haven’t told my 15 year old yet, in our house if you don’t believe then he won’t come 😜