Help me with my moody DP

[zestoflemon]

DP is so moody. He never looks on the bright side and finds the negative in everything. When he’s like this he’s hard to be around.

The smalllest thing (to me anyway) sends him on a massive rant. For example yesterday we ran out to shower gel so he called me up and asked ‘what am I supposed to do?’ I told him he will just have to use his face wash for now and said that there will be some when the shopping is being delivered tonight. This sparked a huge debate about the day that I get our shopping delivered and I need to be more organised because ‘this house is a joke’. We have 2 DC and I work 4 days a week with a half hour lunch break so I really don’t want to spend my one day off going to the supermarket when I can just get it delivered. Apparently I ‘get a whole day to do nothing’ so I should be shopping then instead of sitting on the sofa’. On my day off I do the housework, washing, ironing etc and actually don’t get a minute spare for myself so this really got to me. He resents me having my day off and he’s admitted this (he works 5 and a half had a week which involves getting up really early so I do sympathise).

I’ve let him lie in both mornings this weekend and he still woke up in a mood. I asked him what’s wrong, he should be happy that’s he’s had 2 good lie-ins and he replied ‘Well you have got a week to lie in now haven’t you?’ (I’m on a weeks holiday to spend half term with the DC and most definitely won’t get a lie in!)

He seems to think the whole world should revolves around him. If he’s moody the whole house knows about it and I feel like he really underestimated all that I do. These little things might seem trivia to some but it’s really starting to piss me off.

Rant over

I seriously hope you don't marry a man who thinks purchasing shower gel is your responsibility. .

Stop doing all wirework. Tell him he can do the shopping. Tell him you're not a dog and won't tolerate being spoken to like one. Leave the room if he starts bitching and moaning and tell him you don't want to hear it. Be prepared to leave if he doesn't make himself more pleasant to be around and tell him so.

What does he bring to your family?

*wifework, not wirework!!

He's a cunt.

I recommend you stop being arsed with such a man baby

You shag this petulant waste of space ?

He is not ‘moody’. He is an abusive bully. You deserve better than this emotional abuse.

Honestly what good are you getting from this relationship? Has he always been like this? Could something else be bothering him so he's taking it out on You? I'd just sit him down and say look you're being a moody bastard is there something else going on? If there is nothing else going on and he's just a cock then I'd LTB.

PS my DP often gets himself worked up over what I consider trivialities (e.g. this morning he got cross because the baby sicked on his pyjama bottoms while he was playing with her, after he'd already put the washing on). But he plays with the baby; he puts the washing on; he would never DREAM of treating me like an unpaid skivvy. And most of the time he's an utter treat of a person.

How often is his moodiness and rudeness killing your joy? Does it ever get a chance to grow back?

I couldn’t deal with the moodiness, where has teamwork and being kind to each other gone?

Working 4 days a week can be the worst of both worlds - trying to cram your work into 4 days and also doing everything at home.

How is your financial situation- you say DP so assume you’re not married. Do you rent / own, in whose names?

Nasty CUNT

I had to leave one of these - it's like the sun has come out again.

These little things might seem trivia
Actually, no, they dont. They sound like the tip on a massive moody iceberg. He thinks your time is less valuable than his. Thats a fundemental character flaw.

@MrTrebus I’ve asked him why he gets so moody and most of the time he just says that he’s ‘fed up’ and apparently I would be too if I ‘did what he does’

This morning he’s blamed it on me though and said he’s moody because of how I treat him and speak to him. Apparently I don’t make any time for him and we don’t have sex enough.

I’ve told him that if he didn’t moan about the state of the house (which is actually fine Imo) and made me feel like I had to be constantly doing something to not appear to be lazy I would! By the time I’ve done everything I’m just exhausted and just want half an hour to myself to read or relax in the bath but clearly that’s very selfish of me.

Money wise we are fine but he thinks I should work as now the DC are both at school I’ve ‘got no reason not to really’. He’s said about me going up to 5 days a week and I’ve told him there’s no chance which again he was very resentful about.

I should add that when everything’s going his way he’s perfectly pleasant and nice to be around but obviously it’s not like that very often as the smallest things set him off on a rant.

Oh god he is just one of those men that sulks about sex. I bet you the world that's all it comes down to! My friend has one of these he "expects" sex at least 3 times a week or he massively sulks. They do not realise it's a massive turn off! So immature. I couldn't deal with it, me and my DH are a partnership and we work as a little team and that's what it's all about. He sounds like he's very unhappy at work so tell him to fuck off and sort that out and then maybe he'll be happier at home and then you'll be happier and then maybe you'll want to have sex, make it very clear he is creating this problem himself and that he is the only one that can fix it.

No big surprise he expects you to worship his cock whenever he decrees it

Massively abusive.

You know if you do a 5 day week and the house is pristine he'll still treat you like shit, don't you?

I've been there. Leaving exh was the best thing I ever did.

This is no life to model to your kids.

He doesn't have one ounce of respect for you. Not one. He is bitter, nasty and not the sort of man I'd want to be a father to my children. Every time he speaks to you like that around them, you're giving them the message that it's ok to be put down, spoken down to and that a man can treat his partner like dirt. That's no way to bring kids up.

So he wants you to work full time, look after the DCs and do 100% of the housework and be available for a shag whenever he see's fit or he'll be in a mood. Nice. What do you get out of this relationship can I ask?

The help you need is the help to leave.

Do you think you can do this? He's not going to change.

You shag this petulant waste of space ?

Also my immediate reaction. Read your first post again and stop minimising what he's doing. He sounds like a sexist baby.

I would work as many days as him and get a cleaner and gardener etc or make him do half the chores. He sounds vile frankly!!

Does being a man mean he’s incapable of walking to the shops and buying his own shower gel then?

@deepestdarkestperu Apparently so