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Original poster

Help me with my moody DP

123 replies

zestoflemon · 22/10/2017 12:08

DP is so moody. He never looks on the bright side and finds the negative in everything. When he’s like this he’s hard to be around.

The smalllest thing (to me anyway) sends him on a massive rant. For example yesterday we ran out to shower gel so he called me up and asked ‘what am I supposed to do?’ I told him he will just have to use his face wash for now and said that there will be some when the shopping is being delivered tonight. This sparked a huge debate about the day that I get our shopping delivered and I need to be more organised because ‘this house is a joke’. We have 2 DC and I work 4 days a week with a half hour lunch break so I really don’t want to spend my one day off going to the supermarket when I can just get it delivered. Apparently I ‘get a whole day to do nothing’ so I should be shopping then instead of sitting on the sofa’. On my day off I do the housework, washing, ironing etc and actually don’t get a minute spare for myself so this really got to me. He resents me having my day off and he’s admitted this (he works 5 and a half had a week which involves getting up really early so I do sympathise).

I’ve let him lie in both mornings this weekend and he still woke up in a mood. I asked him what’s wrong, he should be happy that’s he’s had 2 good lie-ins and he replied ‘Well you have got a week to lie in now haven’t you?’ (I’m on a weeks holiday to spend half term with the DC and most definitely won’t get a lie in!)

He seems to think the whole world should revolves around him. If he’s moody the whole house knows about it and I feel like he really underestimated all that I do. These little things might seem trivia to some but it’s really starting to piss me off.

Rant over

OP posts:
TheStoic · 22/10/2017 13:12

He’s said about me going up to 5 days a week and I’ve told him there’s no chance which again he was very resentful about.

But who would buy the shower gel then??? Oh wait...that would still be you.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 22/10/2017 13:16

Oh my god. He sounds like an absolute fucking awful, miserable, petulant dickhead.

How can you live in this atmosphere?

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 22/10/2017 13:16

Life is too short to put up with this shit.

quercuscircus · 22/10/2017 13:25

So he's in a strop becasue he hates his life, blames you for it, is bitter and jealous of you, and also wants you to suffer (from work and any other avaialable misery) as much as he does.

Oh, and then have sex with him.

He is vile and abusive.

Has he always been like this or shown signs of being like this?

quercuscircus · 22/10/2017 13:27

Not that it really matters. he is like it now so he can go to hell

EyeRollChampion · 22/10/2017 13:29

Been there, done that. He doesn't respect you because you're a woman. He expects too much of you because that's what he thinks your job is as a woman. He won't improve, he'll get worse, mark my words.

Aside from how it makes you feel (really shitty I expect), you have to wonder what it's like for the kids and what they will think of women as they get older.

If you try a sit down talk and tell him how you feel and that he's ruining your relationship, then things don't change (or change temporarily then revert), then I'm afraid it's a LTB from me too.

EyeRollChampion · 22/10/2017 13:31

Or just plain LTB. That works too. You don't deserve this shit, noone does.

Ecclesiastes · 22/10/2017 13:31

I had to leave one of these - it's like the sun has come out again.

Love it!

OP, this man treats you with utter contempt, but still wants to ejaculate into you whenever he pleases.

It's not pretty, is it?

ZetaPuppis · 22/10/2017 13:32

He sounds so petty and pathetic. Oh poor him. His partner has a whole week off with the kids.
He would prefer your kids be in childcare and you at work.
Is he going to do fairly split all the chores if you work full time?
Will he share organising the shopping, splitting the ironing, all the cleaning and cooking and everything else?
My dh used to pull that shit too (sometimes) I used to get all defensive about it then I stopped.
If he complained about the house, I’d tell him to sort it if it meant that much to him.
If he whined about me doing nothing on my day off, I’d just say ‘yep. Just watched tv and had loads of tea. Was great’
He knew it wasn’t true so stopped when he realised I wasn’t rising to it.

expatinscotland · 22/10/2017 13:32

He's not moody, he's a bullying cunt. I couldn't shag a person who treated me like this.

NoKidsTwoCats · 22/10/2017 13:32

He sounds like a prick, no wonder you don't want to shag his brains out all the time! Why can't he pick up some essential bits at the shop on the way home sometimes? Oh, because that would mean him putting in an effort.

It really doesn't sound like trivia, I'd find this hugely infuriating and upsetting. It's down to you what to do but in your position I'd be having a long thing about my future with this controlling, awful man child.

GrumpySausage · 22/10/2017 13:35

I very rarely comment on relationship threads as I think it’s hard to comment on a a snapshot of people’s lives. However after reading this it was pretty clear your DP isn’t moody, he’s just a bit of an idiot.

I’d be having serious words if my DP ever spoke to me like that.

Shakey15000 · 22/10/2017 13:35

I really couldn’t be arsed with any of that childish, moody behaviour. It would suck the life out of me and my life/living is far too precious for that malarkey. Your life, your choice though.

GrumpySausage · 22/10/2017 13:36

Actually I wrote that before reading others comments and I realise I was being too gentle with ‘bit of an idiot’. Others have said it much more eloquently.

juneavrile · 22/10/2017 13:39

The trouble is, it's not going to get any better. He's going to get worse and worse as he gets older. Your life will be really miserable if you don't either get away from him, or do something drastic to change his ways.

Really, you should read back your post and think about this very seriously. Being bullied because the shower gel has run out. IT IS INSANITY.

MikeUniformMike · 22/10/2017 13:47

Use soap from now on and let the wanker buy his own shower gel. He's treating you like a housekeeper with benefits.

Original poster
zestoflemon · 22/10/2017 19:53

So fed up of it. As soon as I speak to him about it he makes me feel like the bad one.

OP posts:
Original poster
zestoflemon · 22/10/2017 19:54

I already know that this isn’t the man I will be with forever. He’s actually said this as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
zestoflemon · 22/10/2017 19:57

@EyeRollChampion We had this discussion back last year. We both decided it would be best to deprecate but decided to give it another go. Things were really good until a huge argument in July where I was ready to pack up mine and DCs things and go but again it all settled down again. This time There hasn’t been a ‘major incident’ that’s made me question our future but the constantly negativity. It’s draining.

OP posts:
Original poster
zestoflemon · 22/10/2017 19:58

Sorry that should have said seperate

OP posts:
user1471449805 · 22/10/2017 19:59

I think you know what needs to be done.

Original poster
zestoflemon · 22/10/2017 20:00

@user1471449805I know but I just can’t do it to my DC. I don’t want to see their sad faces

OP posts:
Seeingadistance · 22/10/2017 20:00

He's not moody, he's abusive and controlling.

I think you'd be well rid, tbh.

DaemonPantalaemon · 22/10/2017 20:05

I just can’t do it to my DC. I don’t want to see their sad faces

In that case, buckle up and settle in for a lifetime of resentment. Oh, and a lifetime of modelling a sexist relationship to your children.

Ploppie4 · 22/10/2017 20:07

There you go. Time to call it a day.

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