to ask why so many people didn't stop to help?

[willothewisp17]

long story cut short - l was out last night at the threate with my sil and mil, once play had finished we went to wetherspoons, sil got taxi because her feet were sore and me and mil walked.

found a man passed out on the ground (it was cold and raining) made sure he had a pulse and tried to rouse him, he woke up a bit and it was soon discovered he was drunk, his friends had all left him, didn't want an ambulance or the police called because he's known with the police and then passed out again. felt his pockets for a phone to see if we could get someone but he had nothing so we phoned the local police station and they came and helped him up and took him home.

what gets me is in the time when we were phoning the police station (we had moved away from him to do this so he didn't hear and get angry/stressed) so many people walked past him and didn't even bother to stop and see that he was okay! not even a glance! is this normal? I don't think it matters that he was drunk and his own fault he was in that state, he still needed help, we couldn't leave him there in the rain!

Why 50 Cent?!

Would stop if someone looked as if they were injured. For a drink no. Repercussions can be horrendous. If really worried would not have approached but just phoned police.

People probably thought you were dealing with the situation and therefore didn't need to stop to help, the U.K.- unlike Germany and France- has no 'Good Samaritan' law that places a duty of care on us to assist others in need unless doing so would put ourselves in danger and sadly in this day and age many people- especially young women- are wary of helping strange men on the streets, especially late on a Saturday night when they look drunk.

I've stopped to deal with a male who had fallen and had a head injury, in the middle of town, in broad daylight, with loads of people walking by / stopping to take photos / selfies, and nope, not a single one had called emergency services or bothered to approach him and check if he was ok.

Dealt with another who had fallen out of his wheelchair, yes drunk but still injured as a result, his equally drunk girlfriend tried assaulting me whilst I was dealing with him, so dealt firmly with her and got her to back off, again daylight and no one else thought to help.

Another where had to do cpr, again daylight, but no one else responded despite the person with her yelling and screaming which is what brought me out my flat to see what was wrong so could definitely be heard by many others, again in daylight but no one else came to help. Also 3 or4 road traffic accidents, lots of people taking selfies, no one offering to help most of the time. People just don't give a shit, or are totally self absorbed these days, and I despair for the kids growing up into it all

I seen a young adult walking home late a little while ago. He was so drunk he could barely walk.

Wish I had stopped.

I broke down and called the AA. Was on a shopping centre car park but blocking part of a lane so not like a main road. I got called all the name under the sun including a stupid bitch, and not once person stopped to ask if I was alright despite the fact I was stood in full work uniform by the side of my car. Just drove past and swore at me
I couldn't move it because something underneath was scraping on the floor and my only option was to bump it up onto the kerb which I didn't do for fear of causing more damage
Then there's the time I was doing CPR with shoppers stepping over my legs to reach shelves

I remember as a little girl being out with my gran shopping in town. She tripped and fell, but because of her arthritis couldn’t get up on her own, and I wasn’t strong enough to heft her up - I was about eight. People were walking by saying what a disgrace that that woman was drunk, with a child, in the middle of the day. This was on the main shopping street in the city centre. Eventually both of us were crying - my gran was so embarrassed, she was tee-total and mortified at the idea people thought she was drunk - and two young punk guys with full mohicans and chains stopped and hauled her to her feet. I can genuinely picture them to this day, more than 30 years on. That was the last time my gran ever went out on her own or with one of her grandchildren.

Anyway, as an adult I have sought help or called ambulances for people, but to be honest probably wouldn’t stop and help a collapsed man in the evening by myself, i’d call for help instead.

Many years ago I lived in Reading. Driving home about 18.00 on a main road, I could see a man apparently unconscious on the grass verge. This was an arterial route going through Reading in the rush hour. Hundreds of cars must have driven past him without stopping; and worse, not bothered to report it to the emergency services even if they felt worried about stopping themselves.

My husband and I stopped. He was a homeless gentleman, but he had had a stroke and was very poorly indeed. We later found out that he had been lying there for about 2 hours. He had tried to signal the passing cars before losing consciousness. He had hypothermia, and we were told he would not have survived much longer. I too was so disappointed in my fellow man and found it hard to believe that not one person had dialled 999 to report it, let alone stopped to check on him.

I'm honestly in shock, I've never encountered this at all. Where I am it's more "shall we help"?
"No there's enough people it'll be too crowded" type scenarios. This includes drunk people!

i would not help a drunk man.

One day, D h and I stopped to help a young couple collapsed on a bench in Porth Cornwall. We could not rouse them and they seemed unconscious, head hanging backwards off the bench. Called ambulance. Air ambulance arrived and the noise from the rotary blades roused them both. We then walked on. By the time we arrived in Newquay we saw the same couple running from a hotel into public toilets with a spoon they had seemingly stolen, to take more drugs, I guess. Sometimes people do not want help!
I would still check though but wouldn't go near a drunk, day or night!

Well done for stopping, OP! A good friend of mine, male, 6ft tall was very sick and collapsed after work (5pm, smartly dressed, weekday, etc). He just had his very strong medication changed and had a reaction. No one at a busy bus stop checked on him Some time later he came about and called an ambulance himself. All this assuming the worst in people makes me so sad. It only takes good people doing nothing for the bad in the world to prevail to the degree it has...

We have a daughter with epilepsy. She frequently has seizures while one of us is out with her. When she is lying unconscious on the ground, people always stop and offer help. Admittedly, it is unlikely we would take her out late at night and if we did, it would only be if we could park right outside - because neither of us wants to be in that situation with her, as it makes her and us very vulnerable (plus A & E is not a place we want to be with her, suffering injuries from a fall, late at night with all the drunks)

Usually, she is unconscious on the ground and we get her home, but if at home she can have a number of seizures, and she does appear to be drunk - her language falls apart, she's confused and staggering about.

We talked to the mother of a young man with severe epilepsy, and she said people did not always stop to help - we could only assume they think a young man is drunk?

IslandNiles - I have a story like that too. A few months ago my car broke down driving up a hill, so I managed to get it to the grass verge and stopped. Called the local garage, called the NRMA (am in Australia, semi-rural) and had to wait a couple of hours. In that time FIVE people stopped, 2 of whom I actually knew (the odds!), one parent from a local Christian school, a teacher from another local Christian school and one guy who looked like a biker in his spare time, who was driving a crane. All lovely, all checking that I was ok and could they help - no, but it was very kind of them to ask.

I’m properly shocked by this thread. I think you did the right thing OP though personally like others, I’d have called for help rather than get stuck in myself.

I assume that if others had helped already either they would have told the OP when she arrived, or the call operator would have mentioned it.

I once saw an elderly lady on the opposite side of the road from me. She was standing stock-still, sort of staring down the road. I walked past then when I got to the corner, I looked back and she hadn’t moved. It was v odd. So me and the kids went back to her to check she was ok. And it turned out she was waiting for a bus - one of those dial-a-ride ones that don’t go to bus stops. I told her I thought she’d been having a funny turn and she thought that it was hilarious! But I was glad I checked.

Good on you for stopping.

A few years ago I saw someone in the gutter in the main town centre and mindful of the parable of the Good Samaritan I did slow down a bit to let other people rush forward to help. I preach on that parable as a minister so was interested to see what would happen. No one stopped. So I spent a couple of hours with the guy, who was drunk but with a nasty head wound, waiting for the ambulance, and when that didn't arrive I got my husband to bring the car round and we drove him to hospital. Yes it could have gone wrong but I risk assessed. I had done basic first aid training and street pastor training so I was aware of what I needed to do to stay safe.

It was desperately sad that in the middle of the day no one bothered to try and help.

So a plug for street pastors who go out every weekend in towns and cities to keep an eye out for those who have had too much to drink or become unwell. They do it because other people don't.

Thank you for stopping, @willothewisp17 - it wasn't me, and I have no idea who it was, but thank you for helping him.

As for the rest of you who are taking such pride in telling Willo how dangerous it is to help people, try reading www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+10%3A25-37&version=NIV

willothewisp17 I think this may answer the question you pose in your last paragraph:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

"The bystander effect, or bystander apathy, is a social psychological phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help to a victim when other people are present."

I think it would depend on where it was. In public yes I would but somewhere down a dark alley no but I'd still call for help! Years ago I watched a woman laden with heavy bags trip and fall smack onto her face. Blood pouring! Automatically I ran over to her checked she was ok, told her to stay where she was and phoned an ambulance. I got a barrage of abuse by the person she was with and he dragged her off into the distance! I had to phone the ambulance service back up and apologise for wasting their time but the lady in question had buggered off! I've also been on the receiving end of some pretty shitty comments myself when I've become ill when out. I can either look like I'm having a stroke, look like I'm drunk or become very irate and bad tempered! I can't control it and it's an awful feeling having no control over my mind or body! The first time it happened when I was out I was in the middle of an attack and struggling to hold and pack a carrier bag. Someone in the queue behind me piped up with 'look at her she's clearly drunk' I wasn't I was having a hemiplegic migraine! It was after that that I bought a medical alert necklace! Although even now I still panic about been out on my own in public!!

My brother stopped to help a girl who's boyfriend was kicking ten shades of sh**e out of her, he gained a broken jaw and an affray conviction for his trouble. IF the girl had pressed charges on her boyfriend, who broke her arm and fractured her skull, my brother wouldn't have been convicted, she took him back, my mum forked out £10,000 in legal fees, my brother was defending himself and an unconscious girl, the police prosecuted him. Ridiculous.

Dh is a real stopper and we have got sucked in to some unfortunate situations for our trouble. In all cases the people were very very drunk, known to police and had problems bigger than those we could help with.

Nope, the overwhemingly most likely stuation is that they're a person in dire trouble (just as you or I would be). As with everything (Muslim terrorists, IRA, rapists, etc. a few people screw it up for everyone else.

My sister's type 1 diabetic. If she had ended up on street in coma & there was CCTV footage of people just walking on by letting her die, assuming she was drunk, because only of appearances, I would be beyond angry!!! Mostly because she wears a medi-alert bracelet, as I'm sure many others do - and someone checking would see that & maybe save a life.

Check you should trust to be sure first, but act with human kindness as often as possible. Sister is perfectly lovely (& a married mum of twin 1.5 year old girls, wiv her own business) - defo not a drunk.

Interesting to read the number of people who wouldn't help along with the assumptions that everyone who is collapsed is drunk. I'm first aid trained at work (many people have a basic level of first aid nowadays) and i would always assume the person was ill first until proven drunk. Lots of illnesses can look as if they're drunk - diabetes, epilepsy, heart attack, hyperventilating. Panic attack, or beaten up as others have said. And if they were drunk at the very least I'd call for assistance. If I've seen someone helping I've asked the helper if they're ok or if there's anything I can do. Well done OP!

PS hubby & I (in our days as "young peofessionals") once literally ran into a building where top window had smoke coming out of it.

Turned out to be an elderly care residence & the lady in question had burnt toast badly while in other room & it was starting a (very) small fire. We helped put it out.

Having thought some more, I / we would definitely always try to help, never think twice, unless (we're both fairly switched on) was clear something was fishy (eg guy calling from alley late at night while i was out walking on my own or similar). I have been fortunate to live in both big towns / cities when younger & in much smaller, safer places since early-mid 20s. The fire was in day time though & we technically don't go out a lot at night these days (are 40-ish & have 2.5 year old).

Most likely is people saw you were helping and didn't want to interfere.

There is nothing more stupid than people crowding a victim and gawping, or worse, taking photos with their phones.

Well done for stopping and not judging the poor fellow for being an alcoholic. It is a horrible disease.