to ask why so many people didn't stop to help?

[willothewisp17]

long story cut short - l was out last night at the threate with my sil and mil, once play had finished we went to wetherspoons, sil got taxi because her feet were sore and me and mil walked.

found a man passed out on the ground (it was cold and raining) made sure he had a pulse and tried to rouse him, he woke up a bit and it was soon discovered he was drunk, his friends had all left him, didn't want an ambulance or the police called because he's known with the police and then passed out again. felt his pockets for a phone to see if we could get someone but he had nothing so we phoned the local police station and they came and helped him up and took him home.

what gets me is in the time when we were phoning the police station (we had moved away from him to do this so he didn't hear and get angry/stressed) so many people walked past him and didn't even bother to stop and see that he was okay! not even a glance! is this normal? I don't think it matters that he was drunk and his own fault he was in that state, he still needed help, we couldn't leave him there in the rain!

People aren't flaming you for helping, just pointing out that sticking your hand into the pocket of an unconscious drunk who is known to the police is a really stupid thing to do and you shouldn't do it again!

Think is though op

If something happens to you then you wouldn't be able to call for help for them anyway.

It's not about ignoring people in need of help.

It's about trying read the situation. Sometimes it would he possible to help other times well it presents to much of a risk and in those cases calling but not getting to close would be a better option.

I would always do what I could to help someone but people on drugs and alcohol can behave in unpredictable and sometimes aggressive or violent ways.

"as for everyone saying that people may not have stopped because it was clear that we were dealing with it, it wasn't clear, we have moved a good bit away from him to call the local police station incase he did hear and get aggressive.

And that's exactly my point.

How do you know others hadn't done exactly the same thing?

my attitude is not that I'm a better person that everyone and I'm not minimising anything.

In that moment all I though was 'that's someone father/son/brother'

I didn't put my hands in his pockets, I patted them to see if there was anything after asking if there was anyone he could call (no response)

to be fair, my mil did the most, checked his pulse ect which I wouldn't have thought to do if i was on my own.

I couldn't leave him, people were laughing at him as they walked by

I understand if you feel at risk, then of course you shouldn't put yourself in danger! of course not!

but sometimes people are just damn ignorant!

never mind anyway! it got dealt with, I assume he's okay other than a hangover, I'll be more careful in future! I was just astonished that not one other person stopped. I don't think I'm better than everyone for stopping, if I had been on my own it probably would have been a different story, I'd have called an ambulance and waiting without engaging him.

I know it's different, but my partner one tried to calm two men down after they got into a heated row in a chippy queue and got stabbed for it.

I wouldn't stop, but would call an ambulance if nobody else seemed to be dealing with it. Drunk people can be aggressive. I think this is the common advice, too. I'm not trained to to deal with inebriated, possibly aggressive people, so will leave it to the professionals. Different if it was a child or a fairly obvious accident/illness, though.

I would have called an ambulance - they could be a diabetic in a coma or something . But I would have been cautious about my safety.

my attitude is not that I'm a better person that everyone
but sometimes people are just damn ignorant!

I understand if you feel at risk, then of course you shouldn't put yourself in danger! of course not

And everyone will "risk assesss" differently

So don't call them ignorant

You have no idea what lead to the decision. Maybe they knew him. Maybe they had already called.

I was just astonished that not one other person stopped.

But you don't know that other people hadn't called for an ambulance already, and were standing a few yards away, waiting for it to arrive.

My risk assessment has also changed since I had children. I am much less likely to risk any harm to myself through intervening with antisocial behaviour than I was before having a child who depends on me. I definitely wouldn’t have stopped to help a man if I was on my own and I may well not stop to help someone who could be high/drunk and thus dangerous to me. I’m quite happy with this, don’t consider myself ignorant or morally inferior.

If I thought there was any risk I wouldn't approach the person but I would always call the police/ambulance to get them help. No way could I totally ignore someone.

ukelelebanana surely you get where I'm coming from? even though the man was blind drunk, what if he wasn't? it's always the assumption that someone on the ground unconscious is automatically a drunk rather than just unwell.

I'm not saying people are ignorant for wanting to put their own safety first. if I was with my daughter, I'd have went no where near.

I help people, but I asses my own risk first.

The girl I found passed out cover in piss and puke in a nightclub toilets, I felt safe helping. She was smaller than me and I was in a busy club surrounded by friends and co-workers. I took her to a nearby cafe where she mumbled her mother worked during a semi-coherent moment.

The man stumbling into the dual carriageway, shouting abuse at cars when I was alone during daylight hours, I did not help but I did call the police when I got around the corner. They'd already had a motorist call it in and police were on their way.

I think most people feel safer helping from a distance. A drunk man, laying on the pavement on a busy Saturday night, I might help, depending how many people were around to intervene if it went wrong. I'd always call for police and/or ambulance in such a situation. I wouldn't search someone's pockets in case I was later accused of stealing from them.

I don't assume everyone is drunk.

But I also have lived in my town my whole life and I'd recognise the local piss heads who hang around outside my workplace and who yell at people start fights and have had to be removed from most local.premesis by the police.

might I add I didn't actually do that much other than dial the police station and pat his jacket pocket to see it he maybe had a phone, which If I felt he had one I wouldn't take it out his pocket (which I know leaves no purpose in checking for the phone in the first place) mil checked his pulse, shifted him up to lean against something. I was wary, but neither wanted to just leave him.

I did risk assess this situation, the man couldn't even stand, if he had been aggressive or abusive we'd have called the police from the pub.

I think it depends , many years ago on the way to visit our horses my mother and I came across an overturned car in a field there was a girl trapped underneath it ( about 19) who was hysterical and bleeding , a young man equally hysterical covered in blood . 2 other cars also stopped behind us to help .I went to assist where I could with the woman getting my hands covered in blood whilst doing so . The young man said that they were walking down the road and the car had hit them and the driver had run off . One of the other drivers went off to look for the escapee and police , ambulance etc were called . It turned out that there was no driver , they had stolen the car and rolled it on a joy ride . I could easily have caught something very nasty whilst all the time being lied to . It does make you think twice about helping people . I think the most I would do is phone whichever emergency service seemed most appropriate and then let them deal with it .

I was wary, but neither wanted to just leave him

Again, possibly like many other people, watching from afar/waiting for the ambulance they'd called.

The D in DR ABC stands for Danger. This includes danger to yourself, not just the casualty. If I felt my own safety would be compromised, I wouldn't personally approach.

There were two of you together, and you knew each other, so you were in a better position to approach than any sole bystanders. The trouble with shouting for help is that you might get 'helped' by an associate of the person on the ground and the two of them might have planned this as a way to distract/attack.

I am a woman so I naturally have a lower muscle ratio than a man, and I am shorter and weaker than most men. In a fight or flight situation, I am aware of this, and I assess my personal risk carefully.

A large part of how I would have reacted in the same situation would have been based on women's intuition, i.e. whether I felt uneasy (something not right) or whether I felt the person on the ground was genuinely alone and in need of help. There's a reason why the D is at the start of the neumonic and not after the ABC in alphabetical order. If you put yourself at risk, you then can't help anyone, and you endanger other bystanders if they then try to help you.

I agree though, if in doubt and unable to help personally, the correct response is to call for help.

this has been the first time I've ever had to help someone and nothing had ever happened to me before, so that will explain the carelessness.

I'm not some up my own bum do gooder who goes out looking for people to help! I didn't really know what else to do other than help? I didn't see any risks, which was stupid .

Is no one else wondering why out of a group of 3 all going to the same place where one wanted to get a cab the other two walked despite there being room for them and thereby leaving a lone female in the taxi? That's quite a vulnerable position to put your SIL in OP.

I think geographical location makes a difference. In a big city, I'd imagine such sights as OP dealt with are common, whereas in a smaller town, they're not.

Our local FB page is always full of good Samaritan stories or people searching for the kind person who helped their friend or relative in need. I never read about people being left injured or passed out on pavements and I would assume an angry relative would post if their son or daughter had been left unconscious while people milled about around them.

A few weeks ago, a girl was searching for the group who paid for a taxi and hotel room for her after the friend she'd traveled down to visit got into a drunken argument and stormed off with both their purses, leaving her alone, penniless and phone-less in a strange town, so there are still good people in the world.

table

That's harsh and unnecessary she was free to chose what she wanted to do well or taxi and so was the SIl

Tableaux I'm not even going there. do woman not get taxis by themselves? same thoughts could go for all three of us, sil left in taxi herself, mil left with the drunk herself waiting for the police (street was busy, with people regularly walking by) while she told me to go on and get sil, me walking alone at night? could go on and on. it was a two minute taxi ride. contradicted myself and gave attention to this post!