to ask why so many people didn't stop to help?

[willothewisp17]

long story cut short - l was out last night at the threate with my sil and mil, once play had finished we went to wetherspoons, sil got taxi because her feet were sore and me and mil walked.

found a man passed out on the ground (it was cold and raining) made sure he had a pulse and tried to rouse him, he woke up a bit and it was soon discovered he was drunk, his friends had all left him, didn't want an ambulance or the police called because he's known with the police and then passed out again. felt his pockets for a phone to see if we could get someone but he had nothing so we phoned the local police station and they came and helped him up and took him home.

what gets me is in the time when we were phoning the police station (we had moved away from him to do this so he didn't hear and get angry/stressed) so many people walked past him and didn't even bother to stop and see that he was okay! not even a glance! is this normal? I don't think it matters that he was drunk and his own fault he was in that state, he still needed help, we couldn't leave him there in the rain!

it's always the assumption that someone on the ground unconscious is automatically a drunk rather than just unwell.

You're the one making assumptions here .
People make a decision on how to respond based on the situation and their experience.
If it's Saturday night, no obvious sign of injury/illness, in a place where I've often seen people lying on the pavement, I wouldn't do anything.
If I spotted someone lying down at a bus stop in the morning I would probably have a closer look and call an ambulance if needed.

either was my question has been answered! I am being unreasonable to expect other people to stop, I get that now, I understand all the reasons why you wouldn't, but don't feel I was being unreasonable for trying to help! Under different circumstances I probably wouldn't help, or just walk away, call police and give address.

Exactly Willow - safety in numbers so why not stay together so no one is left alone? Not being harsh just thinking that perhaps, based on the two examples in this thread, you need to be aware of risk on a night out.

*either way 🙄

Tableaux I rarely even go on nights out, I only went to this to fill a space that someone had cancelled. Maybe that's why I don't think of every risk under the sun?

Is no one else wondering why out of a group of 3 all going to the same place where one wanted to get a cab the other two walked despite there being room for them and thereby leaving a lone female in the taxi?

No, I don't think they are, Tableauz, but you've put that right!

Maybe they felt like they needed the exercise/didn't want to fork out for a taxi (albeit shared)/wanted to talk about sil's Birthday surprise on the way to Wetherspoons?

Tableaux someone would always have been left alone anyway, mil did not want to travel the very short distance in the taxi, so if I'd went in the taxi with sil then mil would have been left. no win.

You weren't in a city beginning with S, were you willow? The theatre and Wetherspoons are a very short walk apart there.

My friend is one of those who always always intervenes. Once many moons ago on hol to kavos while very drunk ourselves we say a boy holding up and dragging along girl who literally could not stand up. My friend fired a million questions at him, he said he was taking her home as she was too drunk and they were friends. My friend got a bad feeling decided we were going to help. He got quite shitty and ended up leaving her with us. We sat with her, gave her some water and we're really unsure what to do. Luckily her friends happened upon us when looking for her. They told us they'd lost her and panicked because she wouldn't have wondered off. Also said they hadn't come with any friends who were boys. You can imagine what my friend stopped in her nosy pissed up state!
Same friend we were in a bar a man slapped his gf and dragged her in a black cab. My friend dived in and we dragged her out the other side. He was vile and aggressive, luckily a bloke saw it ran over a dropped him with one punch. Some people physically can not stand by and watch. Some of us have friends like this and have no bloody choice but to get involved!

I think I know where you are donkey!

The only issue I have is until you are close enough to try and rouse then it will not be clear that they are drunk, yes, due to location there may be a higher likely hood drink will be the cause but until you check, you don't know and that could be your son, brother, father either ill or injured just left because folk have presumed that they are intoxicated an violent.
Also to add, and I have many years of dealing with this, not all drunks are violent, some who have been assaulted have also become violent and this has nothing to do with drink but a severe head injury or diabetic illness, so much presumption and miss information is scary.
If in doubt just stay close and dual 999 and at least if the worst does happen you know you've done your best.

People are depressing. My brother and I were knocked off of a motorbike once and as I lay there in the road along from my brother and further along from the ruined bike, I watched four different vehicles come around us, slow down and then carry on. I had a broken knee. I’ll never forget how horrified I was that we were left.

ukelelebanana surely you get where I'm coming from

Yes, I get that you are calling other people ignorant for not helping, even though you have admitted that in another situation you would not help either.

My bag was stolen when I stopped to help someone in the street, turned out it was a scam. I never stop to help anyone now though I have called police/ambulance

Unfortunately that's the world we live in. People are so aggressive its puts many people off helping others especially if there is a drunk involved. Its nothing new thought because back in the 60's my husband was in London on the underground and passed out. People just stepped over him until the one person a West Indian gentleman helped him up to a seat. This was a shock to my hubby who is Devon born and bred. if it had happened down in Devon everyone would have rushed to help.

as for everyone saying that people may not have stopped because it was clear that we were dealing with it, it wasn't clear, we have moved a good bit away from him to call the local police station incase he did hear and get aggressive So it hadn't crossed your mind that other people may have done the same?
Sorry but it seems that you wanted us all to jump in saying how amazing you are when really all you did was what many people do, just with the added risk of going up to the person that closely. I have a son who needs me and can't risk being attacked again since I'm still dealing with PTSD from rape, various other sexual assaults and other physical violent assaults in my life before him.

ds

I don't think you can lump everyone who doesn't help together like that.

People often have their reasons.

I tried to get help for someone who was crying and who had climbed up a tree and I thought he was going to jump. I ran back to the pub is just left hoping the security would radio for help. They just confiscated the bottle of left with and left me freezing cold scantily clad and half cut trying to talk this suicidal man out of jumping.

I tried to help a girl fighting with her boyfriend twice her size, tried to give her money and call for a taxi home. They both turned on me shouting at me in the street.

I've stopped and tried to help befire and had them put their hands where I didn't want them.

I still try and help where I can depending on the situation but sometimes it's just calling 101/999 and hanging back

Sorry but it seems that you wanted us all to jump in saying how amazing you are

This sums the thread up nicely.

for gods sake, I do not want to jump in and tell people how amazing I am? because all these responses are actually making me feel quite shitty now I just wanted an opinion and I got one so cheers.

I always stop if I see someone unconscious in the street. Yes, of course they may be drunk. But what if they are ill? It takes seconds to call a paramedic, and I couldn't just walk on by.

I went to Dublin recently, by ferry from Holyhead, and there was a gentleman lying on his back on the floor of the ferry terminal, clutching an empty bottle of whiskey. Everyone was stepping over him and laughing. I asked one of the terminal staff if anyone had checked he was alright, and they told me he was a frequent traveller and this was a usual occurrence. Fair enough, but the callous attitude of everyone else shocked me. That man was someone's son, brother, dad, uncle. Alcoholism is an illness too.

Emmageddon people were laughing and mocking this man on the way past dismissing him as a typical drunk. maybe he was, maybe he wasn't but laughing? nice.

Alcoholism is an illness but the alcoholic has a choice every time they take a drink.

Wetherspoons just next to a river, Three?

People do or do not intervene on their assessment of situation and if feel able to be of help
A rapid assessment of situation is required eg is it safe to intervene,what appears to have happened?
A phone call to services is an intervention,doesn’t need to be a hands on intervention

in regards to thinking how amazing I am, nope, completely out of character thing to do. I don't think I'm 'amazing ' if anything this thread has shown me that probably a bit stupid to just approach him!