to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

[Curiositykilledthecat113]

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

"Neverknowing

@StealthPolarBear no she was married to my dad but he worked a physical job 6 days a week and then worked in his fathers pub the other night so wasn’t around much."
So if he worked too why is it just her job you have issue with? His working seems to be a given

i promise ish

I wasnt mocking curiosity

Aforementioned is a good word

Where have i mocked you

And telling someone you think is a sahm that they are illiterate and have handouts from their husbands isnt mocking its rude

Anyway...peace? I am having a laugh on the thread but I haven't mocked you at all and i dont like to think that i may have 'upset' you

So c'mon ?

Did whoever it was that asked OP whether her son was a postman ever explain why they asked?

That probably wins non sequitur of the year award.

I haven't got the will or the energy to scroll back through the pages of comedy post detritus

That poster was taking the piss and given what you've said about SAHMs in this regime of a thread, I thought she was pretty restrained. Stop pretending to be a barrister.

I think this all comes down to confidence.

If you're confident, you choose the sahp/wohp option that suits your family best, and spend zero time wondering about other families choices.

@ftw I wish I DID have cocktails. I haven't got a DROP of alcohol in my house.........

I would kill for a glass of cool white wine right now.

@ploppie4

Nobody on their deathbed wished they had spent less time with their children and more time working

Well said. And if someone says they DO wish they spent more time working, than they did with their children, then I feel desperately sorry for the dreadful relationship they must have had with their children. How sad a life that must have been.

In addition, I doubt if any CHILD has ever said they wish their mum had spent more time away at work.

Not meaning to bash working mothers, as I have been one myself. I have been a SAHM, a working mother (full time,) and a working mother (part time.)

I have to say my kids were much happier when I was at home with them more. Ideally working part time was best for me, as I felt I had a good balance. I liked my job, and I got to spend time with the kids too. But if people want to be a full time SAHM and it works best all round, then they should do that.

@Curiosity you seem very incensed and offended that someone made a spiteful remark about you. Yet you have been the most vitriolic, unpleasant, condescending person on this thread.

So it's OK for you to slag off and berate SAHMs is it, but not OK for them to slag YOU off?

What's more, you STARTED the unpleasantness, or have you forgotten that? So just quit the 'hurt little puppy' shit.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 In that case, my bad I'm glad you appreciate the words I use.

Yes my teen Dd is in secondary. Her siblings are in infants/ juniors. Because I am very part time self employed I have 10 precious minutes with her before collecting the other too.
Although I am tentatively job hunting as Dd3 is in reception I will miss these chats.
We talk lots about careers as she is starting her GCSEs this year.
She certainly doesn't see me as a poor role modeI even though Imay have only had an admin role pre kids and not a hot shot lawyer on 100k.

@StealthPolarBear it’s a very long and complicated story

She had the choice because she worked for herself, we didn’t need the money she made and coincidently they had a joint account that his wages went into and hers went into personal savings that none of us saw a penny of.

Curiositykilledthecat113

Oh deary me. Me thinks you've been caught out big time. As a Barrister I would expect you to know the difference between libel and slander, no matter what you specialise in. You've been caught, give up now as you are just a figure of fun Btw, I am not a SAHM, if that matters.

As for Xenia, I don’t know who she is, but there are plenty of successful high earning women on here. Even if some like to shout they must be lying

I find this weird. As you soon as someone says they earn more than the average, everyone comes along and says they're a troll. I find the inherent assumption that women are incapable of being high earners fascinating.

Xenia has mellowed over the last few years.

curiosity

Not a problem

i am always complimenting people on here for certain words or turns of phrase...i just don't normally get such a strong reaction

Anyway i will go back to tormenting sun and whoop

Has she blingy

I always assume people on here are telling the truth

No idea why...i am very cynical in real life

Sun I assume your comments apply to men too?

@StealthPolarBear
I know that sounds wrong but mum forced Dad to work. If he was home she’d scream at him for not supporting us. We’d beg her to stay home ie when my twin died and she wouldn’t.
Meh it’s all anecdotal. No two people are the same.

Does Xenia still have a private island? I want to be her.

I did say I thought the poster was another regular poster on these threads who had a similar set of circumstances to the one op described. This poster had a postman son. But I was wrong and I apologised. My bad.

I'm sorry to hear that. The circumstances sound unusual. In general when considering then impact on the child people wonder about if then mum worked. Or didn't. Or talked to them enough. Or didn't. Or cuddled them. Or didn't. So when I see someone complaining theirum prioritised work over them I make no apologies for assuming they happily accepted that daddy had a career and that concessions must be made for it.

never

arethereanyleftatall Sat 21-Oct-17 22:40:07

I think this all comes down to confidence.

If you're confident, you choose the sahp/wohp option that suits your family best, and spend zero time wondering about other families choices.

Yay! Someone speaks sense.

arethereanyleftatall for Project Manager of Team Bitchfest.

Ahh,the deathbed speech.when I’m about to croak I’ll fondly recall my career and time I gave it,and my kids and time I gave them
On deathbed I’ll not regret working

I second that alittle

As sun hasnt said yes...in fact im sure i heard the door slamming and someone running screaming

These are stupid threads that generally just make people either way feel defensive.

SAHPs will themselves at some point question whether what they're doing is right from guilt of not contributing financially.
(Something put on us by the new definition of equality. Because women now can have the earning potential, then they should.)

WOHPs will themselves at some point question whether what they're doing is right from guilt of not being able to give their children as much attention or time.
(Something put on us by old gender specific roles. Because women always have been and always will be the ones to actually give birth.)

Either way if you don't like what you're doing you'll probably be miserable and shit at it. Unhappy parent = unhappy child, whichever way you look at it.

When I'm on my deathbed one of th e great great grandkids better be bringing me champagne and asking me to proofread my eulogy for the bbc