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Original poster

to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

999 replies

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 10:24

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 22:05

I did like the 'aforementioned ' that the OP had in an earlier post

Thats a fab word...im using that one, id quite forgotten it

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 22:06

Oh my god whoop what is wrong with you Grin

Stop googling woman!!

StealthPolarBear · 21/10/2017 22:07

"Today 22:00 NataliaOsipova

PP got a company helicopter? Bloody hell. He bought a lot of Royal Mail shares on the cheap....!!".
Special delivery service... Prat is on his way...

whoopwhoop21 · 21/10/2017 22:08

Sorry not sorry!

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 22:08

@curiositykilledthecat113

As aforementioned, there's no reason to be jealous. I've also already stated my occupation and wage so I'm not sure where you're pulling these ridiculous ideas from.

Yeah that's if what you say is actually true. If you were happy and content with your job and salary, and it WAS as 'great' as you make out, you would not be so bitchy and spiteful and other peoples life choices.

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 22:09

@curiositykilledthecat113

As aforementioned, there's no reason to be jealous. I've also already stated my occupation and wage so I'm not sure where you're pulling these ridiculous ideas from.

Yeah that's if what you say is actually true. If you were happy and content with your job and salary, and it WAS as 'great' as you make out, you would not be so bitchy and spiteful about other peoples life choices

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 22:09

Can we stop this thread dissolving into some petty mean girl type situation please? No more name calling or immature jokes.

As for

The cost of a SAHP providing childcare is 0

I don’t think this is true. The first cost is lost wages, the second cost is long term loss of wages. Career escalation. Children are little for such a short period, but life is hopefully long, and it has many expenses. A dual income family, where the salaries escalate over time are much more able on balance to weather those storms and provide..

There is other costs. My child was privately educated throughout, she has had many privalages, enabled by both of us working,, inc currently supporting her through uni, that would not have been feasible if one of us had given up all those years ago,

So for me, the cost of a stay at home parent, is way way higher than that of a child minder for a limited number of years. It’s a massive long term cost unless the other parent is a very very high earner or the stay at home parent is able to get back into work.

TeachesOfPeaches · 21/10/2017 22:11

Where's Xenia? She was a high-flying 6 figure lawyer with 5 children.

Ta1kinPeece · 21/10/2017 22:12

Xenia is already on this thread - I'm not her by the way Grin

whoopwhoop21 · 21/10/2017 22:14

Good point bluntness I won't give up work completely as I'm scared it will be too hard to get back in.

StealthPolarBear · 21/10/2017 22:14

And the sad thing is she's an oddity enough to be named. I suspect there are enough six figure, high flying male accountants /lawyers/doctors as to be completely unnewsworthy

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 22:14

@Bluntness100 has spoken ladies.

Behave yourselves you naughty little shits. Grin

ftw · 21/10/2017 22:15

sun
Step away from the cocktails. They’re making you rude. ;)

Original poster
Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 22:16

user1492877024

Yes and people online also say "I hear what you're saying" even though the person isn't literally speaking, so I didn't feel like using specific language would be an issue. My mistake, as I didn't realise you would be microanalysing my replies. I'll make sure to never make a mistake, because no one, even people who have been professionally trained, ever do make errors of course.

Obviously the way you talk on an internet forum is the same way you talk to your husband, your kids and at work. No, that would be ridiculous.

Also Rufustherenegadereindeer1, since that is a Secondary School level word it's quite worrying that you've forgotten it, maybe you do need to stop "taking handouts" from your husband so you can set a great example to your children, who are obviously far better off having their illiterate mother at home :).

OP posts:
TeachesOfPeaches · 21/10/2017 22:17

Is Helena Morrisey on here? Former CEO of Newtons and she has NINE biological children and her husband is a SAHD and practicing monk.

Ta1kinPeece · 21/10/2017 22:17

stealth
Not many of the guys ever had the imagination to own a pacific island like she did Grin

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 22:17

There is another cost here. Which is how daughters view their non working mothers.

The generation going through uni now don’t really understand, they don’t understand why their mothers didn’t go back to work, and there have been threads where they have commented their mothers were as miserable as sin. Being there when they are young, yes, but many of today’s young women don’t understand or respect I think after the kids hit a certain age.

As for Xenia, I don’t know who she is, but there are plenty of successful high earning women on here. Even if some like to shout they must be lying.

PoorYorick · 21/10/2017 22:20

OP, if you were a barrister, you would know the difference between slander and libel, and you'd know you can't commit either regarding someone who is completely anonymous. You'd also know about the defence of fair comment.

You'd also be poring over your case papers right now with no time for silly posts on Mumsnet and you'd be smart enough to understand why some women choose to be SAHMs. Your written English would also be better.

Just stop it, it's excruciating to watch.

TeachesOfPeaches · 21/10/2017 22:20

Bluntness you must google some old Xenia threads. Many thought she was a troll but she really does have a solid career and 5 children, I found her posts quite inspirational.

Original poster
Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 22:20

Bluntness100 Exactly, staying at home is apparently about the good of the children but actually, it's showing them a type of society that is probably not best if we hope to become more progressive. If we hope to make a change to the way gender is viewed, it starts in the homes of ordinary people.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 22:21

Behave yourselves you naughty little shits

I was being serious!!! Grin, slagging Off each other’s IQ’s. Cmon, Behave. It’s interesting, otherwise it will be deleted,,,

Original poster
Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 22:21

PoorYorick The thread is saved, an expert has arrived. :)

OP posts:
Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 22:22

Why do you think i am a stay at home mum curiosity

I have apologised in my earlier post for misinterpreting your intentions in starting the thread

I like the word...i am not being sarcastic or mean. Its a great word and i havent heard it in ages

I cannot think of anything i have said that has been insulting to you

NataliaOsipova · 21/10/2017 22:22

There is another cost here. Which is how daughters view their non working mothers.

Not necessarily all a one way street, though. I have a lovely friend (older than I am), who is utterly devastated by the poor relationship she has with her adult daughter. Her view? She feels her daughter resents the fact she worked when she and wasn't around for her. What about the dad? I asked that too. But that resentment, justified or not, is very real to her.

Ploppie4 · 21/10/2017 22:23

Nobody on their deathbed wished they had spent less time with their children and more time working