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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find it sad that women talk about their DH’a achievements like they are their own

999 replies

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 10:24

On all these “how much do you earn” threads I find it sad to see so many women who gave up careers of a lot of money to be a SAHM and talk proudly about their DH’s income as if it’s their achievement. I wonder why it’s always the woman who cares for the children and how so many woman can decide to give up work leaving them in such a vulnerable position if the husband leaves them.

OP posts:
ALittleMoreEducation · 21/10/2017 21:48

I think sun should do it

Rufus LOL

ftw · 21/10/2017 21:48

It's cheaper and easier to have a SAHP than pay for child care.

Laughing at me being cheaper than childcare...

Fantasticday69 · 21/10/2017 21:48

Op do you have a son who is a postman by any chance?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 21:49

ftw

Goodness Shock

Im a feminist

And i do not use my vagina...just ask dh

JacquesHammer · 21/10/2017 21:49

Or perhaps your husband could make some compromises like you do

It's not a compromise if you don't feel it is. What I mean is, I had a decent high paying job but it didn't set my world alight. Ex's absolutely did for him. It was no compromise for me to give it up.

It also meant that I could start again some years later doing something I love.

NataliaOsipova · 21/10/2017 21:49

Laughing at me being cheaper than childcare...

I'm laughing too. But I'm on Beverly Hills Madam rates +++ Grin

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 21:50

sun

Deffo you...ill do it next week (or i will volunteer ftw or whoop as thats the way I roll)

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 21:50

fantastic

Nah...i think you are on the wrong track there Smile

ftw · 21/10/2017 21:50

rufus, right?

I didn’t even squeeze my children out my vagina, I got them from the council, that’s how lazy I am.

Fantasticday69 · 21/10/2017 21:51

Yes Rufus it was by splendid early on.

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 21:51

bristolone

You: The OP is of low IQ.
You two seconds later: Stop slagging each other off.

Make your mind up sweetheart.

OP posts:
sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 21:51

@bristolone

The OP is of low IQ. Anyone who cannot see this in a balanced way is stupid.

Agree with this.

I also agree with the posters saying that it was the OP that started the nastiness, with her faux concern turning into spiteful and vitriolic bile. Her jealousy and bitterness screams out in this thread. She is clearly very jealous of SAHMs because she can't afford to not go out to work.

Where has the OP gone by the way?

Bluntness100 · 21/10/2017 21:51

On the question of would I care if my daughter gave it up to bring up kids and live off her husbands salary. For me I worked my arse off, to give her those choices, career or stay at home mum, but a part of me yes would be concerned if she had given up everything she is currently striving so hard for and was reliant heavily on the success of her marriage.

Why? Because divorce is a real thing. I see so many women on here who are taking abuse after abuse, because they can’t afford to leave. They Post that they used to have it all, they were happy, confident, financially stable with a good job, and now the husband treats them like shite, but they have no money, no where to go, so they just keep on, washing his pants and making his dinner and taking it. They never dreamt it would be them, but it’s always someone, isn’t it?

And as for sahm mums retaliating, yes there is an element of this, that’s true, but do remember the whole thread started because women were posting their husbands salaries in response to how much do “you” earn. Something you never see a man do. And to repeat. One poster even posted her ex husbands salary in response to the question. If you don’t earn, you could bypass the thread, not post your husbands, or even worse, your ex husbands salary in response to the question.

user1492877024 · 21/10/2017 21:52

Fantasticday69 Sat 21-Oct-17 21:48:22
Op do you have a son who is a postman by any chance?

That's a strange question. Why do you ask?

whoopwhoop21 · 21/10/2017 21:52

No can't be project manager, prefer to skip the task & go for cocktails. Anyone with me? SAH & WOH mum's all welcome & its BOGOF 🍹🍹

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 21:52

Ooh yeah ftw

Two of mine came out of the sun roof...no idea what that means about me

sunandmoonshine · 21/10/2017 21:52

Oh there she is! Grin

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 21:52

Fantasticday69

I don't have a son, what a bizarre comment I'm not really sure what kind of point you're trying to make?

OP posts:
Fantasticday69 · 21/10/2017 21:52

I am so lazy I couldn't even push my 3 children out of my vagina.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 21:53

whoop

Im there love

Make mine a frozen black irish

Fantasticday69 · 21/10/2017 21:53

Apologies op. Your situation sounded similar to another poster.

ALittleMoreEducation · 21/10/2017 21:53

Laughing at me being cheaper than childcare...

A SAHP is always cheaper than childcare because third party childcare is paid service.

The cost of a SAHP providing childcare is 0. The cost of a SAHP providing child care is not their lost billable hours as a corporate lawyer or surgeon or whateve. That is their loss of income.

A child minder does not bill at the rates of a high earning professional.

So yeah it is cheaper. And whether it's cheaper or not it's certainly logistically easier having a full time SAHP than it is someone who is working for you and their time has to be pre-booked and planned.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/10/2017 21:54

fantastic

Its always a bit distasteful when people make comments like splendid

Curiositykilledthecat113 · 21/10/2017 21:55

@sunandmoonshine
"She is clearly very jealous of SAHMs because she can't afford to not go out to work."

As aforementioned, there's no reason to be jealous. I've also already stated my occupation and wage so I'm not sure where you're pulling these ridiculous ideas from.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 21/10/2017 21:55

Sorry I have not read all pages but sohthernfried seems to describe a tough life of working between 9and 2.45 plus usually parenting etc in between, why?
. And "RebeccaWrongDaily

my husband is a pysician, i refer to myself as Dr on that basis."
I bloody well hope 📒