... to be annoyed at school asking for money so aggressively?

[HoneyBadgerApparently]

My sons school have been asking for £10 ‘activity money’ since the start of term. At first it started with letters, then texts, and now today a letter that has a big spiel frankly shaming the people who haven’t paid and saying they will be speaking to individual parents if the money isn’t paid in the next couple of weeks. It’s a non-faith state school and at no point have they stated the donation is voluntary. My husband is an accountant and I was (now a SAHM) and we know the school shouldn’t do this.
We live in an area of very mixed incomes. We’re lucky enough to be able to afford to pay this sort of thing without an issue (we paid on this first day, the reminders go out to everyone), however some of the parents at the school are struggling to buy their kids a warm coat never mind money for pantomimes, charity christmas cards, own clothes day, trips etc and with multiple kids it all adds up. It doesn’t mean these parents care less about their child’s education! Today in the playground I could hear a mother worriedly telling a friend they didn’t have the money (she had 3 kids with her, £30 could be their weekly food shop…)
AIBU to mention to a staff member that they should legally be stating the donation is voluntary? And not shaming people! I don’t want to be ‘that’ mum, but I feel like they are bullying people who likely don’t know this is optional. The letter sounds more like a bailiff letter than a school that should be supporting vulnerable families.

Yes crwox, it's those that are silently struggling and scraping along that I'm thinking of, either too proud to ask or falling through gaps in the system

others that can afford to pay don’t bother. This really makes me angry

Why? I can afford to pay but don't!
.We go on trips activities excusions on weekends and in holidays

Well this is the joy of budget cuts for school

The situation is pretty dire despite what shit spin the Tories give.

Yes and no.

The school's budget will not even cover bare essentials. The teachers will likely be buying bits and pieces from their own money.

Personally, if I ran a school, I'd take a look at the demographics and ask for a realistic contribution from every parent. Something like: we desperately need funding that we cannot obtain from the state - please consider donating £1-£50 per family to cover this year depending on what you personal circumstances allow. So the hard up lady with 3 kids could give £1 and someone very comfortable could give £50. I'd say amounts are all confidential and all gratefully received.

It's very difficult. Fine if a family is genuinely hard up and can afford nothing. But not fine if sanctimonious well off people say they should not pay for state education. Everyone needs to contribute what they can so their kids can have a good experience

I imagine the 'speaking to people individually' will be just as tactless, they'll probably hand out red letters in the playground. It's like ritual humiliation of the poor. Why don't they just make everyone who hasn't paid line up next to a puddle so we can splash them in our BMW's. The Daily Mail could buy the CCTV footage, that should close the budget gap.

crwox why would it make any difference if the parents the school are talking to choose not to pay rather than being unable to pay? It is a voluntary contribution and rich parents are entitled to demure if they want to without getting harassed. We are a democracy and however much I dislike this government and its spending priorities, we don't have a mandate to make parents pay for schooling. Providing an educational experience within budget is at the core of the governors' and senior leadership's responsibilities. If parents are not prepared to donate more funds without being harassed the school will need to cut services. Harassing parents is not acceptable regardless of how much you think they can afford it. Just as it is not acceptable for the local hospital to harass richer patients to donate to hospital funds - despite the horrendous state of NHS budgets.

We have to pay £2 a week for my sons school. I have no idea what its for it as if we forget its written in his home book can you send his snack/weekly/outing money.
We send a snack for morning and afternoon so it cannot be snack money.

We do not mind but did have a month at the start of the year were we could not afford it. I felt guilty in the end i asked family to lend me £8 for the weeks we could not. It was a short term problem for us but i could not imagine how it would feel it if was not :(

This is what austerity looks like.

YANBU to be irritated and the school's tactics sound pretty shonky, but there isn't any money.

Please write to your MP. Even the secretary of state for education believes that school funding needs to be addressed and every ounce of pressure on the government helps.

I don't think it does though HaHaHmm. Where are the govt going to get the money for education? From health? From social security? There isn't any money.

From their DUP deal eleven

crwox why would it make any difference if the parents the school are talking to choose not to pay rather than being unable to pay?

Because I think these are different situations.
It's unfair for any child to miss out on an experience.
But if a parent chooses not to pay for their child, but can then they have decided that their child isn't to take part.
A parent who can not afford to pay, has no other chose than not to pay regardless of whether they would have liked their child to take part.

We don't have the voluntary pay thing here. We get asked to pay for trips - if we don't our child doesn't go. But where I live is deemed a 'deprived' area, some children are living in poverty - the school is cautious of this when deciding what and how much they are asking parents for.

eleven Absolutely - under current conditions there is no money.

But a message needs to be sent to this government that the appetite for austerity is over and they need to secure greater revenues, perhaps from tax.

OP's school will be making decisions about possible redundancies, along with other realities of their financial situation. I am absolutely not condoning the tactics of OP's school but if parents want schools to continue to provide a certain level of facilities then I'm afraid that in the current climate funding needs to come from somewhere, and it won't be central government.

Hahahamm Just to explain, it is the type of city school were you leave, turn one way to social housing estates, turn the other way to private housing where most families have 2 parents that are in professional jobs. Half of the children are on school dinners. There is a big gap between the families who have more money and who have less (though I realise appearances can be deceptive and plenty of people are probably struggling with massive mortgages etc). I understand the school needs money but I don't understand why it makes more sense to the school to harass people with less than polite ask people who have more.

This back door funding of our schools is an utter disgrace. All it does is widen the gulf between rich and poor and make social mobility go backwards.

All of our schools should have adequate funding and it should come from the State so it is equitable and fair.

My children have been to three different state primary/infant/junior schools and one pre-school between them. Different demographics for all of them. Not one has asked for handouts from parents. It is not the norm.

I'm appalled that anyone would try to justify parents filling in for the state. It is back door privatisation.

Honey I'm very familiar with that type of school, and it is striking that with 50% PP it will be much better off than many other comparable schools.

To reiterate, I do not condone the actions of the school at all. It sounds like they are using bullying tactics and this is shameful.

I'm simply trying to point out that the money funded by parents could be the difference this year between making one or two TAs redundant or keeping them on, and that is also shameful that we are in a situation nationally where this shortfall can only be met by parents.

That's terrible, could you approach the governors rather than the L.A.?

Our school used PTA funds to top up contributions for school trips. Until the year they asked PTA for £5k (a this of the funds) and got a sea of shocked faces. They reduced the extra the following year. It seemed parents paid for trips out of school without too much shortfall but external providers into school such as forest school or theatre groups didn't get many contributions.

I wonder how much it has cost them to send out all those letters demanding money?

At my dc’s school they say “this request for a voluntary contribution really is voluntary. We know not all families can afford to support us with a financial contribution and we’re hugely grateful for all the other ways families support their children’s education.”

Complain to the chair of governors, and state that you think that there is a breach of policy in that the school is demanding money rather than asking for voluntary contributions.

Until I moved house I was a school governor. I know that such a letter and especially the bit about talking to individual parents would never have been sent.

Aside from talking to the assistant head and complaining to the chair of governors, the local MP should be aware.

Please do something about this. You could make all the difference.
My sons school mentioned right at the start and handed out envelopes to some families but not all. They've not mentioned any school funding since.
I'd be mortified if they did. I don't work due to ill health, I'm very much on the breadline. We have camhs, tac, family support. If school started sending letters like you've described op I'd be strong enough to ignore- in fact I'd mention it to the family liaison in school, that it's been shaming and awful. She's a proper lion of a woman, fights for families like mine, she'd raise hell

I understand that schools may know who is unable to pay but with letters like this many who really can't pay will struggle and go without essentials in order to get the money in. I know because that's what my family did. It really needs to be emphasized that this is voluntary and no one will ever know who has and hasn't contributed.

crwox If a better off parent has chosen for their child to not attend a voluntary trip and so not paid, I'm still not seeing how that would mean the school was justified in harassing them for money? If it's a voluntary trip then the school should let them decide not to go.

If the school is offering as part of its regular education something (trip, smaller class sizes, more TAs, visiting theatre group, paints, whatever) it can't refuse that service to a child because the parent hasn't paid. In this case, it is the school's responsibility to not offer something it can't reasonably get the money for, it's still not OK to harass parents (of any income level), the school has no authority to charge parents for schooling - it's up to the electorate to vote in a government who will insist on different funding arrangements. That's part of living in a democracy. It's not up to schools to decide the school's budget should be higher and so hassle the parents it thinks can afford it.

BoomBoomCousin I have never said it is okay for the school to harass, any parent?