... to be annoyed at school asking for money so aggressively?

[HoneyBadgerApparently]

My sons school have been asking for £10 ‘activity money’ since the start of term. At first it started with letters, then texts, and now today a letter that has a big spiel frankly shaming the people who haven’t paid and saying they will be speaking to individual parents if the money isn’t paid in the next couple of weeks. It’s a non-faith state school and at no point have they stated the donation is voluntary. My husband is an accountant and I was (now a SAHM) and we know the school shouldn’t do this.
We live in an area of very mixed incomes. We’re lucky enough to be able to afford to pay this sort of thing without an issue (we paid on this first day, the reminders go out to everyone), however some of the parents at the school are struggling to buy their kids a warm coat never mind money for pantomimes, charity christmas cards, own clothes day, trips etc and with multiple kids it all adds up. It doesn’t mean these parents care less about their child’s education! Today in the playground I could hear a mother worriedly telling a friend they didn’t have the money (she had 3 kids with her, £30 could be their weekly food shop…)
AIBU to mention to a staff member that they should legally be stating the donation is voluntary? And not shaming people! I don’t want to be ‘that’ mum, but I feel like they are bullying people who likely don’t know this is optional. The letter sounds more like a bailiff letter than a school that should be supporting vulnerable families.

Governing body and PTA! They're massively in need of great people like you

My DC's state school is asking for those who can to pay for school meals (apparently we're one of a few schools who offer free school meals to everyone in every year )

It's been made abundantly clear it's voluntary though.

I had to go and speak to my DC school after I found that they put the names of non payers on the blackboard (15-20 years ago) and told the children they had to go home and remind their parents to make sure they sent the money in - the names stayed up until you paid!
I was a struggling single parent before tax credits to help etc and went without food myself some days
I always tried to pay what I could for school stuff even if it was a partial contribution rather than not paying at sll

This is a refreshing change from the usual way these threads go, which is sniffy posts that schools are "on their knees" and parents should be grateful to be bombarded with money demands.

You sound very thoughtful and caring, HoneyBadger. It isn't okay for the school to do this.

Good for you OP! This is so wrong, and probably causing worry and stress to financially vulnerable families. I'm so glad you're taking this on.

Just in case you aren't aware, the DofE policy clearly states that school cannot charge for education within school hours.

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/514619/Charging_for_school_activities.pdf

Please keep us posted.

Please speak to the headteacher and the governors, not the class teachers. It won't have been their decision.

When my children were at primary school, they had an "art exhibition". I ended up paying £16 for their "art" which was nothing special, in a cheap frame.

I'm sure the school will know the families who cannot pay - and the families who could but chose not too. As you said they are sending the letter to everybody.

I'm not sure if it's the same where you are but here if a child's parents can not afford the school trip there is special funds available to the school to cover the cost so the child doesn't miss out.

I'm sure the school will know the families who cannot pay - and the families who could but chose not to

But to choose not to pay is allowed too! It is voluntary!

I had this when DC1 was in reception. I was struggling financially at the time (DC was entitled to free school meals) and the school catchment had lots of families in the same boat. The letter stated it was voluntary but when I didn't pay I was sent letters home in DC's bookbag reminding me I owed the money.

I went into reception in the end and asked why I was getting letters for a voluntary payment and it was clear some families would be struggling. I was told if there was an issue I could explain my financial circumstances to the deputy head. I told them I had no intention of discussing that with anyone and I expected the letters to stop. I was so bloody angry at being but in that position but also embarrassed. It's not fair to put parents under this pressure.

I think speaking up would be great, you would be a voice for all those parents who are too ashamed or embaressed to speak up for themselves.

I have just returned a slip to my kids school and not paid for the first time. I am on a tight budget and have bills pouring in this month. I felt really awkward doing it but their Dad is in the military so the school gets a service child payment of £300 a year each so I think they can use some of that! I see no evidence of them benefitting from it.

Oh gosh our school did the same too re art exhibition costing £7 per artwork. I felt it was unfair on those families struggling financially especially with multiple children in the school. I questioned it and was rather shut down and told that families with financial difficulties were able to speak discreetly re fee - although that wasn’t stated on any correspondence. I just thought it was mean if you couldn’t afford it yet felt pressured to purchase your darling child’s work at risk of upsetting them. Again the artwork in question was nothing special and in a cheap frame. I would have rather just contributed to school funds at the end of the day.

Cingolimama thank you so much just what I needed!
Nothing in legislation prevents a school governing body or local authority from asking for voluntary contributions for the benefit of the school or any school activities. However, if the activity cannot be funded without voluntary contributions, the governing body or head teacher should make this clear to parents at the outset. The governing body or head teacher must also make it clear to parents that there is no obligation to make any contribution.
Definitely have made the payment seem compulsory at every point.
When making requests for voluntary contributions, parents must not be made to feel pressurised into paying as it is voluntary and not compulsory. Schools should avoid sending colour coded letters to parents as a reminder to make payments and direct debit or standing order mandates should not be sent to parents when requesting contributions.
They are obviously pressurising people. And the letter is BRIGHT YELLOW. We’ve never had a letter on non-white paper before.

Voluntary contributions should be very respectfully requested. We do this. About 20% of our very middle class professional and fairly wealthy parents pay and opportunities are really limited as a result.

I would speak to the head to remind the school they absolutely cannot demand money from parents in this way and also to find out what exactly the money is for, ‘Activities’ is a bit vague.

Our primary have cut back on lots of school trips and sports activities this year due to the funding cuts. They know that there are a number of parents who either can’t pay or choose not to pay and the school just can’t do anything about it. So rather than having to constantly fund the shortfall the school have cut their losses and they are doing a lot less.

permatiredmum if it's voluntary then fair enough but if everyone stopped paying it just because they didn't have to then the school wouldn't be able to to offer anything extra.
If it's for your child and you can afford it, I don't see why you wouldn't - unless your child didn't want to take part.

How would the school "know the families who cannot pay - and the families who could but chose not too" crwox

Many millions of families are struggling now more than ever. In fact research only today shows that an estimated 4.1 million people are in financial difficulty owing to missed domestic or credit bills. www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-41655915 Link to BBC Report here

I bet many of those families are just keeping afloat - or sinking - without a single person knowing, let alone their DC's school

A lot of the things schools ask money for do not really add value to the curriculum, particularly, though.

My children had endless ‘celebrations’ and ‘parties’ that parents had to contribute to. So many they weren’t very special really.

Trips also weren’t always well thought out. They didn’t in every case support the curriculum, no follow up work was done and really were just a ‘jolly’. Enriching trips can really be very cheap, if the local area is taken advantage of. One of my DC’s favourite events was a long walk in the local area.

I also always pay up but do find the letters almost threatening rather than grateful in tone. It does sound as if your school could be breaking the law:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-34129659

crwox I think the point is that any request for money should state that it is voluntary and not compulsory.

If you can afford to pay and whether or not you choose to pay is a whole other question. There are those that scrimp and save to pay for school trips and activities too proud to ask for any assistance, while some others that can afford to pay don’t bother. This really makes me

I don't know any state school that isn't asking for a voluntary contribution these days.

The school I work in doesn't; I can't imagine our head ever considering it and most of our families are unlikely to be struggling financially.

That is dreadful
I think you should talk to the Head and write to the governors and say what you've said in your OP.

I understand schools are stretched, but bully tactics are inappropriate when so many families are too

So far this year I have been asked for £252 for trips, donations and fucking urdd membership. No wonder I am skint! Notice would make a difference....

AllPizzas, that's wonderful that your school hasn't found it necessary.

BitOutOfPractice The school should know the children who are most in need. School meals, school uniform grants, etc help to determine some children who may be in need.
That being said I get that not everyone will apply for these despite being eligible and I get that other families may fall into financial difficulties who may not even eligible for these.

Closing the attainment gap is also heavily focused on here too.

We have the same things here - I didn't realise it was a voluntary contribution but a more switched on mother did and she told the school in no uncertain terms that they shouldn't be passing it off as a 'cost' per sez