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Original poster

How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 18/10/2017 15:59

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

OP posts:
HashiAsLarry · 19/10/2017 10:08

I suspect f2 and f3 may have filled the PTA head in on the truth. Given this is kungfus business, it's probably right that she doesn't get into tit for tat over f1 but solely appears to be protecting her business interests.

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 19/10/2017 10:11

She is such a cheeky fucker!! I can't get over the gall of her.

Anyway, you're very good to even provide the updo given the circumstances. Your 'friend' owes you a massive apology, a bottle of wine and a massive bunch of flowers.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/10/2017 10:15

My God!!!!

I think this is the end of a beautiful friendship.

sonjadog · 19/10/2017 10:15

The head of the PTA doesn't give a shit about what the OP's friend said or didn't say. She just want prizes for her raffle, not to hear about a whole lot of silly drama.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 19/10/2017 10:15

PTA has responded. She has sent her number, She would like me to give her a call after lunch time so I can explain it all properly and so she can try and rectify the situation.

Heard nothing from F1. F2&3 didnt see her this morning at school and no they haven't notified F1 what ive done. Grin

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 19/10/2017 10:16

This is going to be a shitstorm of epic proportions, isn't it?

[shock[

midnightmisssuki · 19/10/2017 10:16

KungFuPandaWorksOut16

so pleased for you and thanks for the update.

Now i can go back to my meeting Grin

sonjadog · 19/10/2017 10:17

Sounds like it is well on its way to being sorted.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 19/10/2017 10:17

Sonja well I should hope the head of the PTA will care. If they accept "donations" that the business hasnt agreed too, theyll end up with a lot of angry parents wanting to know why they was sold a voucher that cant be redeemed!

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 19/10/2017 10:19

Ooh good luck with the call OP. I would just be absolutely straight and not say anything about 'miscommunication' or 'crossed wires'. It's cheeky fuckery of the highest order and she cannot be allowed to get away with it!!

FacelikeaBagofHammers · 19/10/2017 10:21

I would just be absolutely straight and not say anything about 'miscommunication' or 'crossed wires'. It's cheeky fuckery of the highest order and she cannot be allowed to get away with it!!

This!

FizzyGreenWater · 19/10/2017 10:21

The advertising it without contacting you is also their fault tbh. Obviously you want to word it sensitively, but I'd also be pointing out that it would be good practice before publicly advertising something involving a local business to CHECK with that business first!

They've not only taken her word for it but also advertised the specifics of the offer without so much as checking with you on wording and whether it's ok to use your business name, what the voucher is worth in cash etc... That's pretty shocking really!!!!

potatoscowls · 19/10/2017 10:22

Cheeky Fucker EXPERT LEVEL

sonjadog · 19/10/2017 10:22

I'm sure she will care, but some posters seemed to be suggestion that you fill her in on all the messages, lying etc. If I were her, I would be interested in hearing that F1 had offered your services without asking you, and what offer you are making now (i.e. what you wrote in your message to her), without all the ins and outs of the argument among your friendship group.

DearMrDilkington · 19/10/2017 10:23

I'm so impressed with you op, bravo! Grin

I hope f1 realises she's been a dick and apologies to you.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/10/2017 10:24

I was at a church service recently, the day after they held their annual fete. As I was organising one I perked up when the vicar announced how much had been raised. £48,000!

Crikey! We think we're doing well if we get a tenth of that.

Mix56 · 19/10/2017 10:27

I would suggest they ask F1 to pay £15 to add to the other 2 contributions, to save face, & ask her to leave PTA

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 19/10/2017 10:29

Hope the calls goes well.

Don't let her persuade you.

Explain you never offered the prize and you only discovered when a friend told you she'd seen the flyer.

Then you discovered F1 had offered the prize without asking you.

Make sure the PTA chair knows you are already fully committed with charity donations this year. That you plan how much you can afford to give, like any community business. That obviously as a small business you have to be very careful about donations and margins.

Don't be bullied, however nicely!

Marigold83 · 19/10/2017 10:33

Good luck with the phone call OP, stand your ground.

TheMerryWidow1 · 19/10/2017 10:34

good luck, I can't believe a so called friend would put you in this position and not even tell you she's done it!!!!!

Willow2017 · 19/10/2017 10:34

Sonjadog
Of course she will be interested. It reflects badly ob the ota that they are advertising prizes they dont actually have. How does "she just wants prizes" work if the prizes dont actually exist? Our pta would take a very dim view of this.

Redhead17 · 19/10/2017 10:35

I'd tell them school misunderstand CF is offering a come dine with me experience for 3 other couples at her house as the cut and colour wasn't agreed but we've offered that

I'd be knocking her door and making her explain to my face how the fuck she thinks she is

Willow2017 · 19/10/2017 10:37

What snork says.

The pta are not going to tell cf to pay the £15 and get embroiled in her mess.

captainjacksparrow · 19/10/2017 10:38

I wish I had entertaining CF friends mine all seem normal!

LagunaBubbles · 19/10/2017 10:39

It seems a bit of a shame as your long standing friendship will almost certainly not survive...if it was someone who I considered an old friend (and wanted to remain friends with), and I was in your shoes I would be more likely to make it clear to her in private that I was cross that she had presumed that I would do it but I wouldn't humiliate her by refusing to do it

And let someone think they can get away with offering someone elses services for free without asking first? No wonder people get away with this sort of dreadful behaviour if people think like this! Cheeky friend cant think much of the OP as a friend anyway as even after getting caught out she wouldn't donate £15 herself to have it sorted.

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