How to get out of something that I didnt agree to?

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I am very close friends with a group of 5 ladies, known each other since high school.
We all have children ranging from the ages of 1-6.

Friend 1s child started reception this year and has joined the PTA aswell. Friend 2 & 3 already have children at this school. Friend 1 is the only one on the PTA.

Friend 2 has just text me, saying she didnt know I was offering a prize at the christmas fair.

Me: What?
F2: One of the raffle prizes is a colour & cut at KungFus Salon.
Me : Must be an error and mean another salon.

Cue a whatsapp message of friend 3, with a screenshot of the flyer and the message "kept this quiet. Its lovely of you though"

In the flyer it mentions how the school will be grateful for donations etc etc, raffle tickets go on sale after the school holidays for X price. It then goes on to give a "sneak peek" for some prizes up for grabs and sure enough their is my bloody salon 3rd on the list offering a colour and cut.

Text F1 did she sign me up. Yes she did, that was her contribution (?!)
I asked F1 will she be paying for the voucher. She has responded No, she wont be because its for a good cause and the rest of the community has donated bits and bobs.

Now Im stuck.
I didnt agree to any of this and now leaflets have been given out advertising my salon donating one of the prizes.
All the money goes to the school so it is a good cause, but i just see it as my child doesn't attend that school or any school for that matter. This "donation" will leave me anywhere from £30-£45 out of pocket.

Would i look horrendous ringing the school up and explaining what has happened or shall I suck it up and just do it.

@SuburbanRhonda what's the passive aggressive face for please?

This is veering off topic but I saw a PTA chair on the PTA website recently insisting that she raised £300k per year for her school. She said it was a school of around 200 pupils, in a deprived area. Anyone who questioned her as to how that could possibly be done was dismissed as being lazy, jealous and 'haterz'.

F2 and F3 are likely to tell CF (friend 1) what you did aren’t they? I know they are on your side, as they offered to split the costs but they are still friends with her?

Why would you doubt a pta fundraiser?

KungFuPandaWorksOut16

i wish i could be like you - i am such a walkover most of the time all of the time

Hope the PTA lady responds!

Why would you doubt a pta fundraiser?

I'm doubting the amount. Our school was part of the national organisations for PTAs and that amount of money raised every year was unheard of.

treaclesoda

well the haterz gonna hate hate hate hate hate hate
Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

Sorry - i heard that song this morning and now after seeing your post ive got it stuck in my head - all before a 4 hours meeting too! excellant!

Our school PTA barely makes £500 a year. Enough to pay for a pantomime company to come in at Christmas.

To save red-faces and reprinting, will they maybe have to use some money raised to purchase the prize from you?
For a while I wondered if maybe someone had received a voucher as I gift but it wasn’t right for them so they donated it, but not after CF/F1s messages, she’s just expecting far too much

@SuburbanRhonda most schools don't have 800 pupils at primary level. The infant and junior schools have seperate Pta and they each raise £12-13k. Not unusual at all.
A school in our town raised £10k with one event last Christmas

Maybe you could give her an out.. so she can save face.

Dear F1, I have informed the school and the PTA chair that I did not, in fact, offer this raffle prize and instead will offer a cheaper one instead.

I am not prepared for my services to be offered free of charge, without my prior agreement and wish you had discussed this with me first, giving me the opportunity to accept or decline to be part of the raffle. .

I realise how awkward this will be for all involved, so having slept on overnight, I would be prepared to honour the prize offered by you if you pay the difference between the updo and the colour and cut.

I hope you can see this from the point of view of my business and that we can get this sorted without much more drama.

Best
KungFu

Christmas and summer fairs usually raise £3k each when you have seperate ones for junior and infants that's £12k already without all the other events

Rainbow - that is really low!

I have worked in a school in the rough part of East End of London, and they used to raise £2,000 a year.
My kids are currently at a small school in another rough area. (not London) we raise about £4,000 per year.

If you wanted to, and got involved it really wouldn't be hard to raise loads more.

I'm impressed by your determination OP!! Awesome work. Here's hoping they respond soon. Is CF still waiting for a response?

Out of interest, which events raise the other £13k a year, bearing in mind that in most schools the biggest events are the Christmas and summer fairs?

i wish i could be like you - i am such a walkover most of the time all of the time

Next time someone tries it on with you, post on here and you'll get support and advice on how to deal with it.

You never know, with the power of Mumsnetters behind you, you will learn how to be assertive and stop people taking advantage of you. It will also boost your self esteem, as you'll realise you can say no to things that don't suit.

@SuburbanRhonda what a truly unpleasant person you are! Harvest fair about £3k
Fireworks spectacular (only one in the town so everyone goes) about 4-5k
Easter event about £2k
Toy sales about £1.5k
Christmas tree sale £2k
Christmas cards, discos, etc I'm not sure.

SuburbanRhonda

actually our school raise quite a bit too - we have so many fairs, bake sales, plays for the public/parents etc. 25k/year is not unheard of.. honestly, why would anyone want to lie about this?!

I wish the hairdresser was actually called 'kung fu salon', I would totally go there

Exactly! Ours is a 4 form entry school with 2 x ptas so £25k seems eminently doable and not a figure someone would make up ffs.
As I say a school in the nearby city raised £10k at one event. Ours hardly looks amazing in comparison!

I was at a church service recently, the day after they held their annual fete. As I was organising one I perked up when the vicar announced how much had been raised. £48,000! I guess it depends on the area, who's on the committee, what contacts and fundraising experience they have. We raised £1300 with ours and I was pleased with that.

And all ptas are part of the national association I thought. But to my knowledge they don't publicise the amounts raised by every pta to all members. That would surely be an enormous list and I don't recall us completing returns to the association

I'm surprised CFF hasn't shown up at your house demanding breakfast, her laundry done and an explanation....

SuburbanRhonda what a truly unpleasant person you are!

What a strange comment to make.

Many people on this forum either have children in a school or, like me, work in a school which is desperate for ideas for raising money to supplement our ever decreasing budget.

I'm really up for knowing what events a school would hold that they can raise enough to employ an extra teacher.