Would you think this is cheeky?

[SuzukiLi]

Is it cheeky to make money selling things that someone has given you for free?

I think it's for the giver to only give things no strings attached, and for the recipient to ask before selling on.

It's a bit rude I've been given loads and plan on giving them to other people for their children. If I couldn't get rid I'd take them to charity. Think it's a bit cheeky to sell them on

Sorry but who has the time and brain space to remember exactly who and where and how they got things? Especially if you end up using them for a couple of years before passing on.

Reading threads like this makes me never want to accept freebies, because I just find it so stressful trying to remember who had what - I definitely don't accept loaned items unless I absolutely know when and how I'll give it back. I'm stuck with a frigging massive box of brio which I know loads of kids who would love to enjoy but I can't pass it on because my aunt gave me the express instruction she wants it back for her grandchildren. I can't even post it back to her because I stupidly decided to lug it to another country because it was DS's favourite toy at the time. He won't ever touch it again I don't think.

Sometimes DS's old things can sit in a cupboard for years before I think to pile them up and list them. I haven't the foggiest by then what I bought, what I got for free, what I got second hand and paid for, etc.

It is rude to accept things for free and then immediately sell them for profit, but outgrown baby items? Nah. I absolutely can't get het up about that.

No I don't see anything wrong in her selling things her dc has out grown that you gave her.
You gave her the items, they are now hers.
She now wishes to clear out and maybe will put the money to one side to replace what dc has outgrown.
I am a strong believer in when you give something away, its for that person to do as they wish with it.
Family member passed on a great sack of their dc's clothes when I had ds but she said the words borrow. I did not want to borrow them, would worry about staining them ect so didn't use them, waited a while then returned so she was non the wiser! If she had given them I would have used them and felt she didn't want them anymore. Afterwards I would've felt I could do as I wished as she had given them to me.

A friend and I had our second babies close together, a girl and a boy. On our third babies we had a boy and a girl so we just swapped all of our baby clothes... we decided to sell them after we have used them and put all the money into a prosecco fund

Yep, I do think it's cheeky and not in the spirit of how they were given.

Nobody has suggested any way to keep track of which hand me downs need returning/not selling.

A gift with strings isn't much of a gift!

If the items now belong to someone else then the new owner can surely do with them what she likes.
If it is a loan make it clear from the off.

(I have received baby clothes. I have passed on baby clothes. A few Items I sold. They were mine! It was a pain in the arse.)

The point of giving stuff away is that it is not yours anymore.!!!

Hmm it's a dilemma between what's technically right vs morally right.

I can see why the donors get annoyed about it as you could have sold it but you didn't, you decided to do a nice thing.

On the other hand, if I was given stiff which still had some value, eg baby gap, jojo maman etc I'd find it difficult to just stuff it in a charity shop bag and give away if I didn't know anyone to give it to.

I'd probably check the donor didn't want it back (at the time or later) then if I could be bothered sell through means the donor wouldn't see, eg not on Facebook but through a boot sale.

When the time comes for me to get rid of baby /child stuff I'll probs only give away the stuff that's not worth much eg because stained or was cheapy stuff anyway so I don't care what the recipient does and try and sell the stuff I think has value to avoid this problem.

Is it a gift if someone disadvantages themselves to try and help you out when chances are they have only done so because they perceive you as needing the help?

Given how many people think it’s cheeky to flog on stuff like that then it’s highly likely that those same people when they give something, that they have an expectation that it will be passed on to help someone else out,

A gift is something given without expectations or payment.

When I was pregnant I kept asking people to get gift vouchers instead of baby clothes as we had so many I knew baby wouldn’t wear them all

They ignored me!
So I flogged it all on ebay!
They should have listened

You'd given them away; her property now to do what she wants with them. I'd be a bit miffed, if it happened to me, though .

If you were given them, the child wore them and outgrew them no.

Deceiving people on Facebook and accepting things for free then immediately selling them the next day for a profit yes.

Be clear if it’s a gift or a lend. With baby clothes, hardly any of mine were fit to gift. I found with having to use vanish and washing at a slightly higher temperature they went bobbly very quickly but I still offered and made it clear they were to be binned etc.

With equipment I was only ever lending it so I made that clear.

Separately people kept forcing things on me that I didn’t want despite me being extremely clear.

Relatives of my husband I never hear from, then suddenly I’m expecting a boy and I get a message “I’ve got bags and bags of boys clothes I’m selling if you’re interested”
Me “thanks but I’m all sorted, I’ve got loads already” I just don’t use second hand clothes. I can afford and just want new. Next thing you know they’re on my doorstep. “I couldn’t sell them so thought I’d give them to you”
Me “honestly I’m alright thanks, just nip them charity shop on your way home”
Them “just look through and anything you don’t want charity shop”
Me “thanks, but I don’t need anymore clothes and I really don’t have time to charity shop them, but there’s a shop here xxxxx on your way back you could call in, or the clothes bins at Asda”
Them “ok, well just see what you want then, then take them”

I just get use as a disposal unit!

Either things are a gift or a loan. You need to be clear which they are. You cannot give a gift with strings attached. If you were loaning them to her and expected them back that's one thing. But once you give a gift, it's not yours anymore. So if someone bought one of your D.C. a duplicate toy, you wouldn't return or sell it? Have you never sold something at a car boot sale that was given to you by someone else?

Seems a petty thing to throw away a friendship over.

Seems a petty thing to throw away a friendship over.

Where did I say that this is why the friendship is over?

Where did I say this is why the friendship is over?

If you didn't explicitly say it, you heavily implied it:

18/10/2017 13:26 SuzukiLi

"I just think it's so cheeky! I was also a skint single mum and could've sold it all myself but thought I'd do a nice thing. Oh well, I guess it's just good we're not friends anymore."

So you're not even friends with this person anymore for another reason? Why are you keeping such close watch on her?

God I couldn’t care less! Once I’ve given something it’s not mine anymore. I think it’s controlling and weird to monitor what happens to possessions you’ve given away.

I agree that it is cheeky to sell stuff you have been given for free.

The right thing to do is ask the person if they want it back and if not, give it to someone else. Pay it forward etc by doing a favour for others in the same way that the donor did a favour for you.

I wouldn't sell anything someone has given me for free.

I should add that thinking the above doesn't mean that i monitor what happens to possessions I have given away, as suggested by LaughingElliot. I have better things to do!

If youve given something away it's not yours. People do what they have to do. And really if you knew someone had gone hungry because they thought they may hurt your feelings. Good grief get a grip. Stuffs there to be used however. Its just stuff. People are for more important. Priorities.. and to think you allowed this to ruin a friendship. Good riddance frankly.

Might seem cheeky but once you’ve given it away for free or even sold it for cheap and someone’s gotten more for it than you it’s tough cookies really because unless you’ve said you’d have it back when they’re finished with it. It no longer belongs to you.

I've passed on clothes and toys and never given a thought to what happened afterwards! Why would you? If I had wanted to sell them, I would have done.
How do you know she's sold them, or have i missed that bit? Was it a fortune worth worrying about or the principle?

God I couldn’t care less! Once I’ve given something it’s not mine anymore. I think it’s controlling and weird to monitor what happens to possessions you’ve given away

I totally agree! I am surprised so many posters think it's bad!
Just don't give things away if you still want control of them....or at least let the recipient know they had better tell you if they dare to think they can do what they like with them

I assumed people gave me old baby clothes because they were being nice but also as a way of clearing out. I also assumed they couldn't be bothered to sell them or didn't need to. When my daughter grew out of them I sold them on eBay because I am always trying to find extra ways of making money to get by. It would never have occurred to me that the donor would be annoyed or upset. I am sure it hasn't occurred to your friend either. Once your child has worn them for a year they feel like yours and are yours so you can clear them out in which ever way you choose. Plus people are still getting a bargain and pleasure out of them when they buy them on eBay. I don't think she has done anything wrong.