Would you think this is cheeky?

[SuzukiLi]

Is it cheeky to make money selling things that someone has given you for free?

I have so much stuff handed on from various people... I have tried to label up the nicer things and if anything is still decent after clothing 3 children, I would offer it back (esp if chance they might want to hand it on to another friend or sell it themselves). If I ended up keeping clothes and they ended up in a cheap eBay bundle then I wouldn't worry, but it would feel wrong to recoup some of the cost of a larger value item and keep it rather than giving it back to the original owner or passing on the item for free to someone else it would benefit.

I think once you give something away it's a bit weird to seek to determine what people do next. You could have sold the clothes, you didn't. that was your choice.

First thought was that its a bit cheeky but I think I agree with this more tbh

I think once you give something away it's a bit weird to seek to determine what people do next. You could have sold the clothes, you didn't. that was your choice.

Hmm, I think it depends. We got given quite a lot of baby stuff for free from SIL / BIL after DNephew outgrew it. We've used it now for 2 DD's and DD2 is starting to outgrow a lot of the toys / clothes. We asked SIL / BIL if they wanted it back now to sell themselves and they said no, they didn't want the clutter or the hassle. A lot of stuff I passed on again for free to other people who had young babies, but I did sell some odd bits on Facebook selling sites (not for big money to be clear, but £5-10 mark).

I understand it can be annoying on the surface but if you gave it in good spirit, thats the only thing that matters.

Why fill your head with unnecessary aggro when you did a good thing?

Keep giving...

I think it depends. If there's a narrative of how it's going to be used or why it's needed, or if the giver has some attachment like wanting to see the items used by a close friend, or if it's a gift among close-ish friends or relatives (who'd be offended that you don't want their sofa/table/book/clothes, you just wanted the money), then it can be rude and hurtful. I guess it's because the giver is in a role of 'helping' or 'providing this nice thing' and if it's sold straight on, that implies it's not that helpful or that nice to have it.
I gave friends a really cute baby-gro thing that had text on it that was perfect for their family. Their baby was really cute in it. If they hadn't wanted it i'd have rather kept it for someone else; i'd have felt a loss if they'd just sold it straight on (and they'd have known that, and hopefully would have just told me they didn't want it).

In contrast: on freecycle you don't know the people and they don't know you; if someone wants to come and collect my whatever and can make bit selling it on, fine by me. I don't freecycle anything if I have a narrative in my head of how it's going to be used, or by whom.

It depends. If you used them until your baby grew out of them then sold them on then I wouldn't mind. If you just sold them after a week I'd be annoyed.

If she had asked for them specifically, implying she needed and couldn't afford them, then yes I'd say that was cheeky.

Otherwise, reselling gifts is fine IMHO. I'd actually be more offended if somebody tried to give back a present I gave them, because that amounts to them telling me to my face that the gift was worthless.

If the person giving it away wanted money for it they could have sold it themselves. If you give something it then belongs to the other person, they can do what they like with it.

Also maybe the person selling is much worse off than the person giving and actually needs the money, whereas the person giving stuff away is less in need, or they wouldn't be prepared to give stuff away. I don't generally give away anything if I can sell it as we need any money we can get.

I think it is extremely rude to sell clothes/stuff that you have been given, they should either pass on to a charity shop or sell and offer you the money.

I sold a bunch of DD's clothes at an NCT nearly new sale last year. I sold some presents she'd been given but it wouldn't occur to me to have sold the hand me downs she'd got. The spirit of those is that you hand them on to someone else surely?

Depends. If I just pass on a load of clothes then that's totally up to the recepient what she does with them. If I wanted the money, I could have sold them yself.

If however the receipient has given me some sob story about how they have no money and their child is in their last pair of trousers, and I saw the items being sold the next day, then yes I would not be amused. According to MN, this hapens all the time.

I think it’s ridiculous! Why would you give away something with the condition that they do x y or z with it. If you wanted to sell it yourself that badly then why didn’t you? Also once you’ve given something away you’ve given up your right to have any say in what they do with it after. If you don’t want people to do what they want with the baby clothes then don’t give them away in the first place!

If I decide to give something away, I don't care what they do with it afterwards.

I dependence. But genrally people have given me stuff for free not so much out of a sense of charity but more because they want rid and too lazy to sell them self or take to charity. So if you are willing to put the effort in to sell an item that was junk to the person giving it away, do it

Although I would say it's etiquette to keep the fact you sold something on under your hat.

Once you've given you can't get back!!

You GAVE them to her, they belong to her now. She can pass them on anyway she pleases.

If you want them returned then you tell her when handing them over 'I've put our initials on the items we'd like back once you've finished with them, thanks'

I don't think it's about wanting them back or attaching strings, more the thought of someone profiting from a kind deed you have tried to do. And that, in my opinion, isn't great.

If it was me it would be that I had forgotten those particular items had been gifted. I sell bundles which may include things that were gifted but I had so many clothes I couldn't remember. I also bought lots from second hand sales in bundles

My then dh was fired while I was pregnant, couldn't find another job and then while I was on mat leave I received notice that the company had closed and I had no job to come back to.

I went without, there wasn't enough food for us all at times.

You better believe I sold things that I had been given for free.

I got another job, and built everything back up again, and now I make a point of paying things forward - but never in a million years would I judge someone for selling rather than giving. You just don't know what people are going through.

I think that if people take your old stuff off your hands then they are doing you a favour and should feel free to do whatever they wish with it.

All this talk of 'kind deeds' sounds a little bit lady bountiful to me.

Wouldn't bother me one iota.

Once they are given they are no longer your concern.

I think it's petty of you to be so annoyed and think that the reason you are so irritated is because you have fallen out, fair enough.

Yes, this: if you were the recipient of someone's generosity in the form of a bundle of baby clothes, that doesn't stop you being skint. Once your baby's outgrown the clothes, if you are still skint, then you shouldn't be pressured to give them away if you need the few quid you could get from selling them.