To not be very happy that the young woman at my slimming world group gets more praise than everyone else?

[OliverOlivia]

Hi. I go to a slimming world group and have been going for around 16 months. A young woman (18) fairly recently joined with her mum and she has done well (believe it's almost 3 stone lost now) but she was/is quite large. Of course everyone is encouraging and we clap after she gets an award just like everyone else, but she gets so much more attention! When she is weighed in, the person weighing her always is more pleased with what she has lost than anyone else. Her poor mum doesn't get a look in. The consultant is much more encouraging to her than any of us!!

AIBU to think she isn't 5 years old and can be treated the same as all of us?

Is she losing more than the rest of you?

Perhaps the consultant knows her personal history and knows she needs more encouragement?

She's recently joined - your consultant will want to keep her coming back with her money and positive encouragement is more likely to keep her coming.

We have had newer people join though and aren't getting this kind of praise. She's the youngest in our group and it definitely feels like an age thing which I think is so wrong. No, she hasn't lost the most.

I think it must have taken a lot for a young woman to joint something like swimming world. I doubt there is many people there close to her in age and I'm sure there is a lot more stigma for an 18 year in her peer group to attend a 'weight loss group' than there is for women in their 20s and 30s.

Really, you are upset because a young women is getting more attention than you?

She’s not 5 yo no, but she’s young and less likely to have built up the confidence that comes with age.

As a young woman she’s also under far more pressure to look a certain way.

I don’t think it’s the 18 yo who needs to grow up really... be kind.

Are you the one who is five years old?

My assumption would be that there is something you dont know. Like she has self esteem problems or something. That the consultant knows and you dont.

I certainly would be getting upset because someone gets more attention than you.

Does she have more to lose than most of the rest of you? Maybe that's why she's getting more attention. When you have 100 lbs to lose, it's probably a lot easier to get discouraged than if you have 10lbs to lose can Ifou don't like it, find a different meeting.

Does it really matter? Surely you’re not jealous of her?

Bonkers.

I can see how you'd notice and I can see how you'd be privately and quietly 'irked' maybe if it came across as a bit OTT or insincere/patronising, but I cannot see how/why you'd be bothered otherwise.

They probably speak to her more like a child than an adult, perhaps she finds the whole thing patronising and wishes she was treated more like an adult like you are supposed to be?

Without wishing to be unkind, I think you need to get over yourself and develop a bit of charity.

Everyone's there for support and help with their self-esteem. Finding fault with people for bigging up a young girl for having made good progress is mean and small-minded.

This must be a wind up right, OP? No one could be this immature/mean/insert word here. Surely?

Well fair play to the 18 year old. It's hard enough being 18, let alone adding weight into the mix. She's done brilliantly for losing 3 stone. As you all have for even being there. Why are you bothered?!

Of all the things to worry about enough to write a post on MN about it

How petty! Of she’s 18 she’s either still in school or barely out of it. Are you usually this jealous of other people? Is she doing better than you.

Is she pretty enough to feature on their website if she gets to goal? That’s usually behind a lot of the over the top praising of young women at WW.

She's lost 3 stone.

So perhaps she's not such a new joiner. And her progress sounds amazing. Definitely worth praise.

I'm ready to bet others are being praised too. But now you've decided it's not being done your way, you"ll only ever see it as 'wrong' now.

How much have you lost?

I'm a target member I've never stayed a full session, they want your money that is all do it for yourself not because you need the praise of a middle aged women who has their own food issues

I’ve been a sw member twice over the last 15 years.
Last time was three years ago after thyroid surgery. I went from 7st 7lb to nearly 10 stone due to the hormone change etc so rejoined.
It was a new group in our area but the leader has been a dedicated sw follower for years.
I also used to be on the help team.
I can agree with the pp that say they are very money driven because I’ve seen it myself however they also are very encouraging to people that may find it hard to stay on a plan.
For an 18 year old to have lost three stone so far and still need to lose more I would say bows the time to instill good positive healthy eating ideas before she gets to a certain point and is on the merry go round all her life.
I stopped going a lon while ago as I felt I could regulate and I do now. I am very active which helps a lot but the girl may not be so and may have social issues which also could explain the over praise.
Well done to her I say

Slimming World treats everyone like children IMO. All this "yeah !!! You lost 2lbs this week!!! Well done!!! Everyone clap for Betty, she's done so well!!!"

Jesus wept. I went once and cringed the entire time. Ridiculous that adults actually get off on being treated like children.

Maybe she's liked. And doesn't act jealous.