To not be very happy that the young woman at my slimming world group gets more praise than everyone else?

[OliverOlivia]

Hi. I go to a slimming world group and have been going for around 16 months. A young woman (18) fairly recently joined with her mum and she has done well (believe it's almost 3 stone lost now) but she was/is quite large. Of course everyone is encouraging and we clap after she gets an award just like everyone else, but she gets so much more attention! When she is weighed in, the person weighing her always is more pleased with what she has lost than anyone else. Her poor mum doesn't get a look in. The consultant is much more encouraging to her than any of us!!

AIBU to think she isn't 5 years old and can be treated the same as all of us?

Good grief. Yes, YABU, and rather childish.

SW meetings are awful anyway, they take 17 hours and are very, very dull. I only went to a couple, then used to just weigh in and go.

YANBU OP, and other posters are just being ridiculously unkind.

People don't join SW when they are bouncing with confidence and finding the process easy. If it was that easy, they wouldn't need to pay in the first place. It's bad enough to feel put down everywhere (because the media and work place prefers young and slim people), it's not helpful to be made to feel older and less worth of help because you someone prettier or younger comes along.
Can't you get that members need support in the sessions? Not made to feel worst?

Maybe the consultant has a daughter of the same age, or she reminds her of how she was at the same age.

She's done well. Can't you just be happy for her?
You have no idea of her history or how hard it is for her to go to group.
Those meetings are fucking cringeworthy though. YABU for needing a pat on the head for being a good slimming zombie. Yeuch!

I now have an image of Marjorie Dawes.
Could be new material for them.

Dust

Does she lose weight every week? That may be one reason. A lot of people yoyo don't they, one off, one on, two off, one on.

That must get on the leaders nerves

God I'd be chuffed to bits if the spotlight wasn't on me there. The thing that irked me most (after the focus on money and pushing their sweetner laden crap) was the cringey, patronising bollox they spouted. "Ooo well done you." "Aww you maintained, never mind" head tilt. I felt like going home and mainlining cake.

Absolutely bu! I'm guessing you don't like her because if you did you wouldn't even notice the 'fuss' being made over her, you'd be joining in yourself. And as for the others not being fussed over, why don't you make a fuss of them, tell them how well they've done. That's if they are bothered of course.

Wow, really? Can't you just be happy for her success?

Maybe the person weighing her in knows things about her that you don't - perhaps she's struggling with self-esteem issues, or needs extra support.

Do you really need people to clap for you in order to feel good about yourself?

She might be cringing when this happens, I know I would be!

They’re probably happy that an 18 year old has had the courage to join. It also sounds like she had a lot to lose, so needed the encouragement.

Why are you bitching about it anyway, OP?

Oh dear

YABU, maybe there are other issues in that she needs the extra encouragement?

You seem very petty & mean spirited, perhaps a different group would suit you better if you’re so naffed off about a teenager getting more attention than you?

so many harsh replies

Bloody hell, if people didn't need support and encouragement themselves, why would they join these groups in the first place? But no, it's great to be made to feel you are low on the order of priorities because of your age, absolutely what you need when you are already struggling with your weight.

If the group leader or coach or whatever you call these people is as supportive as posters on this forum, the group won't go very far, will it

Jesus wept, she's barely more than a child. She's 18, her Mother is there, I'm guessing she's not solely responsible for her excess weight. She's at a stage in her life where she should be out having fun, not dieting & struggling with this crap. I think she deserves the 'extra attention'

But that aside, how the fuck old are you, that you give a shiny shit about how much 'praise' you get from someone who gets money to treat you like a 5 year old?! Get your validation from someone that really matters - YOURSELF

In fact, this is so bloody pathetic, I think you're probably a GF.

FFS she’s 18. All her mates are probably much slimmer and judging by how my teens behave probably constantly pouting for photos, getting dressed up etc and she probably feels very left out. If she’s lost 3 stone she must have been a very big teen and was possibly bullied for it all through school. My sis had to take anti depressants and anti psychotic meds at that age and gained loads of weight.

You sound horrible OP.

You need to get a grip OP.

Is she your daughter?

You sound jealous.

If an 18 yr old has lost 3 stone and is still overweight she must have been pretty big. It's really hard for very overweight people to lose weight and keep it off. She's doing incredibly well and deserves all the support she gets!

I remain cynical. She is probably an ideal candidate to be picked for slimmer of the year, with her photograph on the front of the magazine, ensuring great publicity for your local group.

It's fairly unusual for 18 year olds to attend slimming groups so it's also a way to attract other younger members.

It's probably cringeworthy for her too if there's a marked difference to how she is received by everyone?

Try not to let it bother you. You're old and wise enough to know that your motivation for losing weight can't be based around impressing your slimming world friends and getting applause.

Well done on your weight loss, congrats, it's great, you're doing so well.

I go to SW and some weeks are spent on different people giving help or those doing well to share what works for them.

I don’t always get a lot of time spent on me as I usually do ok. Maybe it’s not the group for you and you should look for another group.

Cynically. Having struggled with my weight for most of my life I imagine this group leader sees her younger clients as long term money spinners. Of course to be kept sweet.

Yes I do suspect they’re lining her up to be the poster girl for the SW magazine, so of course they’re encouraged her. But it will still be hard for her to keep going when all the others there are at least twice her age.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Just concentrate on your weight loss.

But no, it's great to be made to feel you are low on the order of priorities because of your age, absolutely what you need when you are already struggling with your weight.

I think it's all rather infantilising.

Surely the reward comes from attending each week and seeing the loss, not the cheerleading of strangers.

I did WW several years ago. I used to go to the meeting for the weigh in and then leave. I found the meeting and the 'celebrating' truly awful.

I think it's fine to nurture an 18 year old a little more. Especially when being overweight as a teen must be horrendous. Good for her for doing something about it!