To not be very happy that the young woman at my slimming world group gets more praise than everyone else?

[OliverOlivia]

Hi. I go to a slimming world group and have been going for around 16 months. A young woman (18) fairly recently joined with her mum and she has done well (believe it's almost 3 stone lost now) but she was/is quite large. Of course everyone is encouraging and we clap after she gets an award just like everyone else, but she gets so much more attention! When she is weighed in, the person weighing her always is more pleased with what she has lost than anyone else. Her poor mum doesn't get a look in. The consultant is much more encouraging to her than any of us!!

AIBU to think she isn't 5 years old and can be treated the same as all of us?

I think it's all rather infantilising.

I disagree. If people do need to join these groups, there's a reason. It's not about infantilising, it's about asking for help when you need it. What is infantilising is the leader to treat her group like a bunch of 5 years old and play favourite. How ridiculous is that.

If the behaviour brings members confidence down, then it's time to change group. It's not harder or easier to be overweight at 18 or 35

If the reward was only to see your loss, why bother going in the first place? You just need a decent scale at home, or some change to go to Boots.

Maybe she is more likeable - than you

If the reward was only to see your loss, why bother going in the first place? You just need a decent scale at home, or some change to go to Boots.

It's easier to let yourself off the weigh in or gloss over the weight... I know that when I was doing WW and getting weighed regularly, then I was more committed than without that regular check in.

But I didn't need the cheering on of others to help me.

I'm just surprised that that element of it is require by anyone ultimately. But I can understand it more in a younger person who might have a less concrete sense of self and all that.

I like the meetings. We drink coffee and swap SW recipes. I quite like getting a round of applause and a sticker.

If that makes me an infant, so be it. At least I'm a lighter infant than I was a few months ago.

This cant be real. You cannot be jealous of an 18 year old girl because shes getting more praise than you? In the nicest way possible, please grow up.

Why do you need praise surely just be proud of yourself for what your doing ?
I can see why an 18 year old might need it though

I first joined a slimming club at 17. I was mortified and stuck out like a sore thumb. Perhaps if I'd had a bit more positive reinforcement at the time I wouldn't be back at slimming club ten years later, fatter than I was then.

This young woman is making a positive change to her life at an age she can really benefit from it. It's a brilliant positive thing.

Don't be jealous.

AIBU to think that the OP isn't 5 years old and can deal with this?

Jealous or GF

Hahahaha

She is no more 'special' or needing of support than anyone else in that group.

The group leader is actually being ignorant of everyone else's feelings in the group and discriminating based upon age.

My first suggestion would be that a few of you approach your group leader and voice your feelings.
If there's no change, then take it upon yourselves to speak up/clap loudly and longer and make the same fuss over every other person who get's weighed.

Losing weight is difficult enough without having your confidence knocked like this.

Yes it's definitely an age thing. Maybe if you show the consultant this thread you started, she could treat you like the 5 year old you are acting like.

You sound a bit....pathetic

Slimming World does bring out some odd behaviour in people. I don't know whether it's because a lot of the members have self esteem issues due to their weight but quite a few of the members at my group get very sensitive about relatively trivial things. And resentful of other members. One of the ladies at my group chucked a fit when she didn't get a sticker one week (the consultant had run out). It's a sticker FFS, not a pair of diamond earrings.

she could treat you like the 5 year old you are acting like
You sound a bit....pathetic

Bravo! Bet you feel good about yourself for saying that?
Is it any wonder men treat women like shit if this is how we treat each other?

The 18 year is an ADULT - so why make the exception to 'treat her like a 5 year old' then?

OP - ignore the fuckwits on here...they've either never been fat and tried to lose weight in the same way as you or are missing the empathy gene......or maybe they've just had the privilege of being surrounded by people who gave enough of a fuck about their feelings to give them the praise/reinforcement they needed when they needed it.