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AIBU?

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Teacher accused son of racism

223 replies

Claireabella1 · 16/10/2017 23:48

Ive been a long time lurker but posted about something else earlier this week and really appreciated the advice I got, so here I go again. I received a call today from my son's school. It was the mentor for his year telling me that my son and another child had been placed in isolation for making racist comments towards a teacher and she was investigating. She said next step was to talk to all children in the class and also two other members of staff in the classroom at the time. I asked her what comment was made and it was vile. She told me my son was very upset and I knew in my gut he didn't do this, but was willing to listen and asked her to update me. She did (within half an hour) all children in class and the two other adults agreed what my son said was relevant and not racist (history class, talking about the plague, teacher called it 'black death' and DS said he'd heard of that, it killed lots of people) for context, hes12. Other member of staff said he took the comment as part of relevant classroom discussion. Mentor sounded embarrassed when she relayed this to me and apologised a lot, she admitted no racist comments had been made by anyone (DS air the other boy) she said teacher was confused and stressed. I asked if teacher would apologise to my DS and mentor said yes. She hasn't apologised and I'm fucking reeling. I think racism is a serious allegation and you can't just accuse someone of racism and then say 'whoops'I was stressed. I'm also worried that because they had to speak to the other children in the class things might become outrageous as they do in high school and my DS may suffer some backlash he doesn't deserve. I'm honestly fuming, he's the loveliest boy and has been through so much, this is so unfair to him.

OP posts:
MistressDeeCee · 18/10/2017 00:03

“Even if he had made racist comments he's twelve and the teacher should have reacted more appropriately. “

oooh, how to react appropriately to racism...? As opposed to inappropriately (as determined by persons not experiencing it), hmm? No doubt the explanation will be so momentous as to eradicate racism and bring about world peace in one fell swoop

abbsisspartacus · 18/10/2017 00:06

Reacting appropriately to racism in a minor child? I would suggest educating the child as a starting point

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 00:31

Ops posts are quite clear in what the ds said and what the teacher thought he said.

Teacher was supposed to apologise to ds, she didnt despite having the opportunity during a designated 'chat time' after op had been told by school that this would happen.
OP is naturally wondering why she didnt apologise as this 'misunderstanding' could have had serious repurcussions for the childs records and want proof that this wont go on her sons records.

And what is this obsession with asking what he was supposed to have said? What does it matter? OP didnt want to repeat it but was continually asked until she did. Bet even then posters were still berating her for not telling them the gory details!

Teachers make misteaks, apologise, sort it out and move on. You know just like op is being told to do. It isnt unheard of, I have had teachers apologise to me over something they did which was very unprofessional. No reason why this one cant do the same.

MistressDeeCee · 18/10/2017 00:41

Reacting appropriately to racism in a minor child? I would suggest educating the child as a starting point

Oh, I see. Who knew? Its the job of the victim of racism to "educate". Just like that.

Presumably to counteract the failure of parents who haven't themselves educated a 12 year old(!) on what racism is, and why its wrong, and that there's no entitlement that victims of racism should not be upset, but instead stand there and educate...

Brilliant.

Mantegnaria · 18/10/2017 03:22

@MistressDeeCee

Just a moment.

(1) There wasn't any racism here, this was a case of false accusation. The school and the teacher have admitted that;

(2) There wasn't any "victim of racism" here, both child and teacher were not from ethnic minorities;

(3) It does seem reasonable for a TEACHER who suspects or encounters racism from a CHILD to educate that child on why racism in general or the particular incident in question is wrong. A sanction in line with the school's disciplinary policy may or may not also be appropriate.

In this case we had a rapid, misplaced and vindictive escalation in response to a single misheard remark. No stopping and checking. No attempt to educate the child. Just a one-size-fits-all inappropriate response based on some "professional" guideline that is there only to protect teachers and is drawn up by bureaucrats who care nothing for kids and but care VERY MUCH about forestalling any possible accusations against teachers.

It stinks of fear and that fear comes from posts like yours. You are the problem here.

KoalaD · 18/10/2017 03:35

both child and teacher were not from ethnic minorities

Where are you getting that from?

MaisyPops · 18/10/2017 07:02

as this 'misunderstanding' could have had serious repurcussions for the childs records and want proof that this wont go on her sons records.
But it won't.
This is the point that people are missing because they're too busy being outraged.

They were in isolation whilst an investigation was done. That is not a judgement of guilt. It was found to be a misunderstanding. (Having students out of circulation during an investigation is standard in some situations).

Why the hell would any school create work for themselves creating records based on a misunderstanding?
Does anyone seriously think in y11 when students leave their head of year will write a college reference saying "wonderful child, but half way through y8 there as a misunderstanding about a racist comment but don't worry because we investigated it and it was nothing"

permatiredmum · 18/10/2017 07:47

Why was the other boy put in isolation too.

BishBoshBashBop · 18/10/2017 08:00

(2) There wasn't any "victim of racism" here, both child and teacher were not from ethnic minorities;

Well you've made that up. The OP has said she didn't know the ethnicity of the teacher

hasitcometothis33 · 18/10/2017 12:52

In any case there was no racism.

We’ve come to a low place where those on positions of responsibility can use claims of ‘racism’ in such a fashion.

A very low place

TheLuminaries · 18/10/2017 13:04

Oh, I see. Who knew? Its the job of the victim of racism to "educate". Just like that.

No, it is the the job of teachers to educate. If the job title isn't a big enough clue for you I think their job description will certainly mention that their primary role is education.

OP, you have had an unfairly rotten time on here and I am not surprised you have not come back. I hope it can be resolved and you can be reassured that won't be on your son's record, which is the most important thing here. Everything else is just background noise, really.

MistressDeeCee · 18/10/2017 13:24

I don't wish to shock you but the teacher is a person, just like anyone else. That she is a teacher doesn't separate her from being upset by any form of racism nor does the onus fall upon her to educate regarding racist commentary - when she herself will have experienced racism on many occasions.

The arrogance of people who will excuse racism and find numerous ways to make their racism a problem for the person experiencing it to deal with, as opposed to them simply not being racist, is the usual deflective nonsense

As is most of this thread

grannytomine · 18/10/2017 13:48

I think the only possible explanation is that the teacher is having some sort of breakdown. That would explain the "stressed" comments and the embarrassment on the part of the school. I think this is possible, even likely, I know of something similar but the child was pushed into a door by teacher. Teacher was then off sick and was in hospital within a few days. I don't think he ever went back to teaching, definitely didn't go back to the same school.

Ceto · 18/10/2017 14:11

Mistress, what is the relevance of that last comment? It's been accepted, apparently also by the teacher, that there was no racism.

hasitcometothis33 · 18/10/2017 14:27

The OP is well off not wasting time on here and just making the complaint.

It doesn’t need to be complicated.

cremedelashite · 18/10/2017 14:39

Op- for what it's worth. I'd drop this. It's been investigated, he's been cleared. He wants it to go away. He's got your utmost support in times of need and he can deal effectively with unfairness and problems. Job done x

Willow2017 · 18/10/2017 15:10

Mistressdee
How can the teacher be shocked or experience racism when she herself and 2 other teachers confirmed that there was none?

What is the point of your post?

StrangeAndUnusual · 18/10/2017 15:31

I would be concerned that my child was going to hold back in speaking up in class after this. It was a very extreme reaction coming out of nowhere, and i think it would be likely to put a child off.

Personally I would want to meet with the teacher and the head in order to understand the situation. I would have concerns about the school, frankly. I cannot imagine this happening in my DC's school - i.e. a false accusation of a child, with time in isolation, calls to parents and questioning of the whole class - with absolutely no basis whatsoever.

It did, however, happen to me in my school 30 years ago (not an accusation of racism but of criminal damage0. And it happened because the school was crap, and I wouldn't want my children at a school like mine.

MaisyPops · 18/10/2017 18:19

The OP is well off not wasting time on here and just making the complaint
Ring the school, arrange to talk to someone, discuss it as polite adults (withour the usual MN hysteria on complaining threads), get a resolution.

Or as cremedelashite says, the DC wants it done with. No wrong doing was found. School have acknowledged the mix up. Move on.

I would have concerns about the school, frankly. I cannot imagine this happening in my DC's school - i.e. a false accusation of a child, with time in isolation, calls to parents and questioning of the whole class - with absolutely no basis whatsoever.
So when a child says a bullying incident happened in class but the teacher didn't hear it the correct response is go keep the potential bully in classes, say 'there's no basis because you jist thought it happened' and don't ask the class what happened either?
Good. I'm glad that's clear.

The teacher THOUGHT she heard something.
I would like a teacher to act if they thought they heard anything like that or bullying. Isolation pending investigation is standard for some things. Equally, so is asking the class.
(I remember in school having the class questioned about a totally fictitious claim against our teacher. It was maliciously done as well. But the protocol was for the head ti take statements from the class. The class confirmed it was utter bollocks).

Loopylou19861234 · 08/09/2018 15:24

Hello i am not sure if this is the right place to post but here goes.... i need advice please.
Yes yesterday I had a phone call from my daughter's stating that there had been an incident of a raciel nature full stop when I enquired what had happened I was told that during a game on the playground my 7 year old daughter had referred to a boy as the Black Boy this was used in descriptive nature not as an insult but nevertheless she was pulled out of class for the rest of the day but up for racial insults which is going on her permanent record and is being referred to the board as a serious matter I am very confused over this matter as I don't think it's true or correct that my daughter has been branded a racist by the school what can i do?

strawberryblondebint · 08/09/2018 15:35

Hi you have posted on the end of a really old thread. Create your own new post and I'm sure you will get some supportive advice.

Loopylou19861234 · 08/09/2018 15:54

Could you advise me how to please? Tia

Want2beme · 08/09/2018 16:10

At the top of the page on the right, there's an arrow, (tablet version) - tap on this and you'll see an option to start a new thread. Before you do this, you'll need to make sure you're in the subject you want to discuss it in, e.g. other stuff - AIBU or maybe somewhere that's more school related?

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